One year clean..thoughts and updates

#15

Postby tokes » Sat Apr 18, 2020 5:14 pm

Thanks for all the responses. Didn't figure I would get so many as it has been a while but its good to see that my posts and updates are still helping people through.

I remember when I was going through this process, how helpful the detailed responses were, regardless of how minute or meaningless the detailed may have seemed, it all helped me to piece to together my own experience and ways with dealing with it, so I try and do the same thing.

@PAWSsurvivor I aim to update this once every month or so or at least at times where I feel there has been in change in my general well-being. I intend to update this all the way to the 5 year mark!

@Cthompson21 I had vivd dreams before I started smoking, loads of astral projection experiences while I was smoking also. I would literally fly out of my body in the middle of the night, usually during a phase of sleep paralysis and I could travel outside and wander around. It felt like a set of floating eyes unbound by gravity, some people have trained this skill to travel to far distances even other countries, but after years of this happening to me I was only ever able to make it outside. This is a whole other story of its own that I could ramble about. In regards to dreams during PAWs I would say in hindsight they have lessened in severity and nightmares have also gotten less. At the height of my PAWs dreams/nightmares - I would wake up and the last thing I saw in my dream would still be in the room in conscious wakefulness and then it would morph into on the objects in my room and disappear - this was all while I was awake, so they my dreams were so powerful they would actual bleed into my reality. I've always had incredible vivd dreams during smoking and PAWs, but as time has gone by especially after the 1 to 1.5 year mark they had gone from a weekly occurrence to perhaps monthly. I still get them from time to time, but I enjoy most of my dreams, and don't attribute the terror or vividness of them all to abuse cannabis for many years, just many a slightly more active or imaginative brain than the average person. Always been into ancient archaeology, life on other planets, possibility of other world intelligence, spirits etc, so when I dreams I usually get a weird mish mash of things going on :wink:

I've just picked up a good book called "A life lived nervously" by Josh Roberts. It is about his experience with anxiety. It just came out and it sounds like a lot of what the people on here are going through, so I would recommend picking it up and giving it a read.
tokes
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#16

Postby Cthompson21 » Sun Apr 19, 2020 5:24 pm

Thank you! Mine definitely aren't severe as yours where you're dreaming awake, but they were were disturbing and now less so they used to be. I would get the out of body experiences too as the beginning, and i still have the bad dreams once or twice per week. They are so awful and I wake up feeling defeated and like I've lost control of my mind, but as I go through the day usually I forget about them. Glad to hear they've lessened up, thank you again for sharing your experience. And thanks for the reading suggestion I'll look it up!
Cthompson21
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