Quit cannabis and got depressed

Postby Rebirth123 » Sun Apr 07, 2019 8:02 pm

Hey Forum, my name is ******* and im 23 y old and I am about to share my wierd journey hoping to bond with someone that also has 1 weird journey they haven’t deared open up too.

So I’m first going to talk about my life before smoking marijuana, I was always an chubby child (male) I had it abit difficult in school, for mainly my self esteem.

When I became 17 started a new school I met a girl, to make a long story I fell in love she did not have reflecting feelings. I found out that she spoke and also had sex with her ex for over 1 month talking to me (during this time we had sex 1 time).

However the chubby child with braces took this very very personally so during the summer break I started smoking a sh** ton of weed, not eating food either (self destructive behavior) even though I also had fun smoking. I lost 20kgs during 3 months. I could not wait to come back to school and show myself off, now that I lost alot of fat I started to workout and eat GOOD. So now I’m beginning to get healthy. Using my rage of this girl in the beginning made me train like an absolute beast.

I became very fit very fast also smoking weed during this time, I kept training for 3 years and also I was smoking for these three years. I got my dream body so I went from fat to fit.

Ok and now I quit my job and I went to visit Barcelona to live there for 3 months.

I visit Barcelona with my perfect body im happier then ever and so so positive (I’m still smoking at this point).

I’m atm working as an salesman on the phone, I’m living with my friend who came with me,

I’m really happy in Barcelona and everything is fine, after the 3 months I go back to my home county because I missed home.

I get a new stressful job and it is now where it gets dark.

About 6 months in to the new job I get a lot of stress, I also lost a lot of money at this period making me feel very stressed and empty.

I’m very new to these kinds of feelings at this stage.

So I’m about to smoke after this stressful period and I knew I should not smoke now but I did..

After smoking a few hits I felt extremely extremely anxious, leading to an suffocating panic attack.

At this stage I had been eating a lot of junk food prioritizing job before the gym also, so at this point I also “lost” my summerbody.

After this panic attack I am actually in some way not the same person anymore silly as it sounds, i even called 911 thinking I would die. I would come up with random assumptions like maybe my pollen allergy is kicking in? Just crazy thoughts flowing through my brain at this stage.

So now u decided to quit smoking weed and I am still feeling very very stressed ALL the time. I also developed abit of OCD during this anxious period.

I actually went to see a therapist after a while because my panic attack’s were controlled now by hypochondria... (like literally I thought I was allergic to peanuts like wtf is that). At this stage I am now controlled by eating disorder (looking if there is peanuts in different kinds of foods). I’m literally so out of my body here (maybe cannabis withdrawals?) derealization 100%

Therapist helped me control my thiughts and I’m also working with myself daily with meditation etc also working out. (Also fixed my eating disorder).

I’m 23 y today and I feel abit lost to be honest, I’m living my life but more limited to when I was smoking weed and training like crazy.

Today I CANNOT smoke weed anymore at all, I get extremely panicked when I smoke.

I really miss smoking weed because it once made me feel so peaceful and not stressed at all.

Today it seems impossible to get these kinds of highs just because of that one panic attack.

I’m out of shape atm, more stressed than before. Got my own place and car (this means a lot of bills, which means more stress).

I want to smoke weed again without fear, I want to do things without thinking to much like I didn’t do before.

What is the reason for me changing so much!?

My self esteem was soo good before now it’s sh** and it feels like I have to do something about it!

Please dear uncommon forum i apologize if anything in this story is weird to understand and thank you for reading my story.

Would appreciate feedback/thoughts
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#1

Postby AnnaK » Tue Apr 09, 2019 3:44 pm

Don’t smoke weed, I caused me to have panic attacks too....focus on your health. Don’t eat junk food and work on your self esteem. Cannabis is not safe or innocent for some of us. Don’t wish for it or your will relapse back to smoking daily and doing more damage.
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#2

Postby Rebirth123 » Tue Apr 09, 2019 5:04 pm

Cant really find peace without it in the same way w/ it.

But im fine now just that i miss having the stress taken care of of something natural like weed. I dont take pills..
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#3

Postby Rebirth123 » Tue Apr 09, 2019 5:04 pm

Cant really find peace without it in the same way w/ it.

But im fine now just that i miss having the stress taken care of of something natural like weed. I dont take pills..
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#4

Postby AnnaK » Tue Apr 09, 2019 5:23 pm

You don’t understand that even though it’s a plant it hijacks your dopamine receptors just like
pills and that’s why you aren’t happy all on your own. Deal with your stress and don’t lean on drugs. I’m doing the same thing and going through it.
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#5

Postby Rebirth123 » Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:56 pm

I am dealing with it but my mind is not at ease, if i could i would smoke 2-3 times a week without panicattacks. I hear what you are saying but i think that because of that big big big Anxiety attack when i once smoked makes me terrified of smoking, i just smashed the wall and havent come back 100% ever since.

Im fullt capable to ”deal” with stress without alcohol or pills. BUT i dont have that inner peace that i had before maybe it isnt all about the weed, im not happy about other things aswell atm as my body, self esteem & and my inner happiness.

I dont blame weed i blame the part of me that makes me vulnurebale to panic attacks, not in a critisizing way but in an honest way.

My dream is to find myself like i was before, passionated, motivated and stressfree.

Goodluck Anna!
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#6

Postby Rebirth123 » Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:58 pm

And if a little weed is requiered to feel that way then i dont really mind, but since i just get panicked 50% of the time i smoke its just a waste.. what tools do you use to get back without weed?
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#7

Postby AnnaK » Tue Apr 09, 2019 8:50 pm

It’s a big lie. You don’t get relaxed from smoking weed.. you end up with anxiety and panic attacks. Some don’t get this but they don’t have anxiety. Plants are very strong herbal medicine and some are toxic. There are plants that are poisonous and can kill you. Cannabis raises your heart rate. I was/am and addict in recovery ... I want nothing to do with it again. If you are hiding from your self esteem issues by getting high it’s time to fix those issues not put a band aid on it. I’ve done it before ... I regret it. Weed isn’t the answer. Some of us can’t smoke it. I don’t know what to do to stay calm but good food and life choices is a start.
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#8

Postby AnnaK » Tue Apr 09, 2019 8:58 pm

I also called 911 thinking I was dying.
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#9

Postby Rebirth123 » Tue Apr 09, 2019 9:39 pm

Well i smoked for 4 years and was anxiety free, my Anxiety csme when i started stressing..
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#10

Postby AnnaK » Tue Apr 09, 2019 10:15 pm

Okay that’s good but then I also smoked for years without a panic attack. Did you ever think that it changes? Your body changes as you use....you build tolerances and your neurotransmitters fire differently, also if your hormones change it affects how you react to cannabis...if you just have stress then why are you here asking about weed? Go ahead and defend the flowers because everyone who wants to smoke does that. Just smoke it then. It’s harmless and natural..right?
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#11

Postby Rebirth123 » Wed Apr 10, 2019 5:12 pm

Ah maybe your right! When i was younger i did not stress or work in the same way making me abit resistance of stress and anxiety. Now that i have stress in my life i should not smoke maybe!

I just dont like the mental change im going through plus i miss weed but not like omg iloveit-miss it. Just missing the feeling but most of all hate that i ”CANT” smoke bevause of mental limitations.. you have to be able to understand that

Have a good night Xx!
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#12

Postby AnnaK » Wed Apr 10, 2019 6:14 pm

My experience was so bad I don’t miss it. I don’t want it and I regret doing it. You can’t keep chasing that first high it isn’t ever the same again. I’ve quit for 100 days twice before and this time I would rather be me and have my sober life back. You’re young ..maybe you still hope that it will make you feel good again. I know lots of people who smoke even family members but weed just isn’t for me and if you had a bad experience maybe it isn’t for you. What if it was bad every time? Would you miss it then?
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#13

Postby James_Lee » Fri May 03, 2019 11:48 pm

Basically, you started getting addicted. It is a common withdrawal symptom to feel down after quitting something you depended on, especially a drug. Overall, it is better to quit pot
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