Childhood memories haunt me and I feel guilt

#30

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun May 05, 2019 11:10 pm

James_Lee wrote: I am NOT an abuser. I do NOT want to feel anyone.


Well, there you go. You have your answer, provided by you.

So not only does society deem you not an abuser, you deem yourself NOT an abuser. So now you “know”.
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#31

Postby Candid » Sun May 05, 2019 11:14 pm

James_Lee wrote:I am NOT an abuser. I do NOT want to feel anyone.


I knew we'd get there in the end. :roll:
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#32

Postby James_Lee » Sun May 05, 2019 11:26 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
James_Lee wrote: I am NOT an abuser. I do NOT want to feel anyone.


Well, there you go. You have your answer, provided by you.

So not only does society deem you not an abuser, you deem yourself NOT an abuser. So now you “know”.


I do not consider myself an abuser. My problem is about objectivity. Do I objectively qualify as one? Or can we objectively conclude I am not an abuser?
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#33

Postby James_Lee » Sun May 05, 2019 11:26 pm

Candid wrote:
James_Lee wrote:I am NOT an abuser. I do NOT want to feel anyone.


I knew we'd get there in the end. :roll:


What are you saying? Do you suspect that I am an abuser? Is that what you are suggesting?
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#34

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun May 05, 2019 11:31 pm

James_Lee wrote: So, you are saying that I am an abuser only when society decides I am? What about my personal feelings? What about my guilt? What about my mental health?


As it relates to you being an -er, your personal feelings and mental health mean absolutely nothing. Let me repeat, your personal feelings and mental health mean NOTHING as it relates to “knowing” what you are.

There are plenty of people that feel or believe they are a singer. It doesn’t make them a singer. Sorry. That’s not how life works.

Sure. You can believe you are a singer all you wish. Sing all you want. Ask people to tell you how you will ever “know” you are a singer. Despite all the evidence that you are not a singer as people cringe and snicker, and point out by all objective measures you are not a singer, you can play the game of, “But, how do I know?”

Look, you just said “I am NOT a singer”...I mean abuser. So you know you’re not, but you have other reasons for maintaining the narrative.

Anyway, in another thread I found some great advice you should take.

James_Lee wrote:You seem to really make your situation seem more dire than it is. This sort of self-loathing really is not going to get you anywhere. I mean you really are complaining about really small things...
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#35

Postby Candid » Sun May 05, 2019 11:35 pm

James_Lee wrote:Do you suspect that I am an abuser?


No. I suspect you are a troll.
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#36

Postby James_Lee » Sun May 05, 2019 11:42 pm

Candid wrote:
James_Lee wrote:Do you suspect that I am an abuser?


No. I suspect you are a troll.


In what way? You think I am making up my guilt/panic stories?
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#37

Postby Candid » Sun May 05, 2019 11:44 pm

Yes.
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#38

Postby James_Lee » Sun May 05, 2019 11:48 pm

Candid wrote:Yes.


Ok. That is simply offensive. Why did you change your tone, dare I ask. You were so supportive at first.
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#39

Postby Candid » Sun May 05, 2019 11:55 pm

We give everyone a fair trial here, as you may have noticed. By the end of page two it was clear you were going to keep arguing indefinitely. That's trolling.

But I will return, if I may, to a suggestion of Richard's. Go to your nearest police station and turn yourself in, as fast as you can.
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#40

Postby James_Lee » Sun May 05, 2019 11:57 pm

Candid wrote:We give everyone a fair trial here, as you may have noticed. By the end of page two it was clear you were going to keep arguing indefinitely. That's trolling.

But I will return, if I may, to a suggestion of Richard's. Go to your nearest police station and turn yourself in, as fast as you can.


I am sorry. I am really new here. I do not know what the limit is on posting. And also, turning myself to police how? Wouldn't that make me feel even worse?
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#41

Postby Patmentoring » Mon May 06, 2019 6:58 am

I literally gave you soulutions to everything you said in my reply, all you have to do is take action but you won’t why? Because you don’t want to change, you’re addicted to the guilt. Deep down you love it and you don’t want any change in your life.
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#42

Postby tokeless » Mon May 06, 2019 12:19 pm

General rule of thumb is, that the less you concentrate on it, the less it will bother you. One of the best ways to stop concentrating on it, is to understand that it is a common feeling. You can go and get checked out if you want by a doctor.

Sound familiar? Your advice in the addictions section. Why not follow it yourself?
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#43

Postby James_Lee » Tue May 07, 2019 3:32 am

I have this feeling that I am "hushing it all away." If I am guilty, I do NOT want it hushed away. I would gladly go to prison and not try to cover up what I did.
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#44

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue May 07, 2019 5:07 am

James_Lee wrote: I would gladly go to prison and not try to cover up what I did.


So again, for the 3rd time, go to a police station and turn yourself in for your crimes.
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