quit weed, feel like i’m on a trip

Postby sutol » Sat May 04, 2019 9:36 pm

So I’m 17 years old diagnosed with generalized anxiety and major depression as of about a year and a half ago. I got out of treatment for a suicide attempt and was doing okay, then last summer I started smoking. I only planned to do it once in a while with friends, and for a while that’s exactly how it went, but of course it escalated. For a few months straight I was high constantly. I’d had a weed induced panic attack once, and was able to recover. Then I started a new antidepressant, and smoking was significantly changed for me. I started smoking and drinking normally at a party, but about 15 minutes later I had the worst sense of overwhelming inevitable death? It was just pure panic. I had to go home. I tried smoking a couple times after that and it just was not the same. I figured it must’ve been my medication, so I stopped taking it. I started again and had more panic attacks, and I slowly realized it was never going to be the same again. That was hard because weed had become my personality. I was high everywhere, even school and work. I was checked out, completely numb. So on top of missing it immensely I started getting this weird sensation. Things stopped making sense, like everything. I started having constant panic attacks that were scarier then the panic attacks i’d had before everything happened. My flashbacks from before smoking started persisting, and I also was realizing that I literally didn’t remember the good few months I was never sober. It’s been almost 3 months since this went down, but it feels like it’s been forever. The world is so strange? It’s been scary because I couldn’t find anyone that knew what I was talking about. People will say things and I just won’t process them. It’s gotten a little better but I’m still just confused and worried that i’ll never feel normal again. Honestly i’m just putting this out there in hopes there’s people who went through this and came out okay. Thanks for reading.
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Postby Sherwood1999 » Sun May 05, 2019 12:22 am

If your perception of the world around seems strange like literally and you seem disconnected then you are most likely experiencing depersonalisation/derealisation. It can be a symptom of anxiety. And it sucks dick. I got it from accumulated stress/ OCD and also quitting my daily dabbing habit cold turkey. I’m slowly getting better but it’s not easy. Also get depression myself from time to time so just know you’re not alone my friend. I’m at 5 months sober.
Keep going, talk to anyone on here if you need support. Also a psychologist can always help. Best of luck.
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Postby sutol » Sun May 05, 2019 4:20 am

thank you !!
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Postby James_Lee » Sun May 05, 2019 4:27 am

I have not smoked weed. But I have had feelings of derealization or deperesonalization. In fact, I have it a lot of times. It is very normal to worry that the feeling will not go away. General rule of thumb is, that the less you concentrate on it, the less it will bother you. One of the best ways to stop concentrating on it, is to understand that it is a common feeling. You can go and get checked out if you want by a doctor. Something like blood test to make you feel safe, if that is what you need. But the feeling of lack of reality, being out of place or a dream like state is a very common experience.
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Postby AnnaK » Tue May 07, 2019 10:48 pm

I am there too. I was happy while high....I am 72 days clean and I am depressed and scared and having repeated thoughts and shaking. I have pressure in my head still and dp dr . This is not easy especially when everyone even the doctors say weed does not cause this. It will take time for the brain to recover. I am still having the lucid scary dreams and when I wake up I am still dreaming. Reality is so weird. I don't know how I got this bad .. I was only using heavily for less than a year. I had smoked before but got clean and moved on and healed how I relapsed so badly is a mystery to me. I think I was sleep deprived as its hard to get up in the morning for my dog. I usually pop out of bed happy. Weed is the enemy I hate it more than I can express. To give you hope I am an idiot and went through withdrawal before and it did eventually go away ...it is worse this time so regretting ever smoking again. I was never a stoner or a druggie. I just got in the habit slowly and it sneaks up on you.. we will get through this. I do think a lot of it is anxiety...that is true.
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