Is 19 too old?

Postby James_Lee » Sun May 05, 2019 3:37 am

I am 19 years old, and I have been feeling these sentimental emotions. I feel that I am a little older than I feel. I realize that I am not a kid anymore. I feel like my childhood went by way too fast, and I am just in a territory I am not familiar in a little too early. My actions can no longer be excused as those of a kid. I am a young man. And in several short years, I will be at an age where many people already have kids of their own. I see these 13 year old kids, and I realize that we are on different developmental stages. A 13 year old is no longer someone "my age." I feel that these worries can be divided into 2 categories.

Category 1) First of all, I worry that I "missed out" on some things. There are many reasons why. I was a homeschooled kid, I had very severe anxiety, I did not care about how I looked, I did not interact outside of my family etc.

Category 2) These worries make me feel like I am already, sort of too old. I feel like I am in a territory that I am not ready for. I do not feel ready to be a man. I do not know if I have already "come of age." I also feel like, it is way too early for me to be experiencing these emotions. I always remember watching older people. And when I was 12, virtually anyone felt a"bit older." Now that I am 19, it feels like I can no longer feel that excitement of "adulthood still ahead."

Are these sort of sentimental feelings common? Is 19 too young? Am I too young to be feeling these emotions?

Thank you all
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun May 05, 2019 6:36 am

I think you have a framing issue.

At the very least, worse case scenario, you are less than 25% of your maximum age.

If we then consider the scientific evidence that adult memory starts at no sooner than 3 years of age, that critical thinking skills don’t solidify until the mid-20’s, and that until 18 any decision you make is technically not exclusively your own, you are still in the infancy of life.

An analogy, is that you are a fledgling on the edge of the nest. You have never flown before! You have never once felt the wind lifting you into the sky! Never! 100% of your flying life is in front of you, but you think you are old?

Bad framing. Try to gain a healthier perspective. It can be difficult given your youth and your current perspective, but that is where I suggest you focus. Try writing down some long term goals. Think of examples where 19 years is a relatively insignificant amount of time.
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#2

Postby James_Lee » Sun May 05, 2019 11:44 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:I think you have a framing issue.

At the very least, worse case scenario, you are less than 25% of your maximum age.

If we then consider the scientific evidence that adult memory starts at no sooner than 3 years of age, that critical thinking skills don’t solidify until the mid-20’s, and that until 18 any decision you make is technically not exclusively your own, you are still in the infancy of life.

An analogy, is that you are a fledgling on the edge of the nest. You have never flown before! You have never once felt the wind lifting you into the sky! Never! 100% of your flying life is in front of you, but you think you are old?

Bad framing. Try to gain a healthier perspective. It can be difficult given your youth and your current perspective, but that is where I suggest you focus. Try writing down some long term goals. Think of examples where 19 years is a relatively insignificant amount of time.


So you think I am not that old yet? The thing is, for me, time just passed way too fast. I am already at an age where I feel like I was not ready to be. It sort of gets me sentimental, to be honest
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#3

Postby Candid » Sun May 05, 2019 11:46 pm

James_Lee wrote:I am already at an age where I feel like I was not ready to be.


Me too.
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#4

Postby James_Lee » Sun May 05, 2019 11:49 pm

Candid wrote:
James_Lee wrote:I am already at an age where I feel like I was not ready to be.


Me too.


I see. But you must have been an adult for a while now, but I feel like I was not prepared for this age.
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#5

Postby Candid » Sun May 05, 2019 11:57 pm

James_Lee wrote:But you must have been an adult for a while now, but I feel like I was not prepared for this age.


Quite right. And you'll find it gets harder.
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#6

Postby James_Lee » Mon May 06, 2019 12:02 am

Candid wrote:
James_Lee wrote:But you must have been an adult for a while now, but I feel like I was not prepared for this age.


Quite right. And you'll find it gets harder.


So do I still qualify as young? Do I still have any years to savor?
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#7

Postby Candid » Mon May 06, 2019 10:14 am

To me, yes, you qualify as young. Even children wouldn't consider you old. Old is white hair and wrinkles like I have.

You surely must know you probably have at least 50 years to enjoy.
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#8

Postby desperate788 » Mon May 06, 2019 12:11 pm

Is 19 too old?
You are a fetus.
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#9

Postby James_Lee » Tue May 07, 2019 3:34 am

Thank you all for being so supportive. I just feel like I grew up a little too fast
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#10

Postby VasilenaHr » Tue May 07, 2019 9:32 am

As i am older than you, i can tell you that you are in the beggining :) But ! The most important thing is how you are living your live, not how old are you. So never stop chasing your dreams and of course - love yourself and be the most important person in your live :)
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#11

Postby quietvoice » Tue May 07, 2019 11:03 am

It seems rather fishy to me that there suddenly a few new members here all wanting to talk the same topic.


Edit:
Because this is normally a very slow board. Did the forum admin do some marketing of this board recently?
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Last edited by quietvoice on Tue May 07, 2019 11:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
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#12

Postby VasilenaHr » Tue May 07, 2019 11:07 am

It is very normal and as you know we are all here to help each other and to do good things, to give light. Is it so fishy? Wish you luck and love :))
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#13

Postby James_Lee » Tue May 07, 2019 5:00 pm

quietvoice wrote:It seems rather fishy to me that there suddenly a few new members here all wanting to talk the same topic.


Edit:
Because this is normally a very slow board. Did the forum admin do some marketing of this board recently?
VVVVVVV


When someone experiences guilt over childhood experimentation, they tend to google it. And this website is one of the first that is suggested when someone tries to do that. So, that is how I joined here
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#14

Postby Northern_Boy » Fri May 10, 2019 11:32 pm

Have a listen to Sugar Mountain by Neil Young.

Written by Young on his 19th birthday in 1964, the song is a lament to the loss of youth. (Young didn’t record the song until 1968.) It had such an effect on Joni Mitchell that she wrote “Circle Game” in response'
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