HOCD and loss of attraction

Postby FSBHM » Mon May 06, 2019 12:16 am

A year since I lost my attraction to girls. I'm afraid it won't come back, I can function normally, it's horrible.
What do I mean by "loss of attraction", how did it manifest itself?

Last year, everything started to get better: I understood how my obsessions worked, little by little they almost went silent, more intrusive thoughts, more false attraction, more anxiety. At the end of all this, when there was almost nothing left (a few intrusive thoughts, nothing more), I started to focus on the eyebrows and notice defects on the faces of girls I found attractive. And little by little, my attraction almost completely evaporated. I found fewer and fewer girls attractive, I found them more and more flaws. Little by little it spread to the whole female gender. It's as if I had, overnight, become incredibly more selective with women. And nothing has changed since then.

For a few days at first, I thought it was just OCD, I was testing myself, I had anxiety at times but nothing more... And little by little... Anxiety increased, attraction never increased, sometimes it even decreased. I was afraid, I tested myself, hoping that my attraction would come back, I looked for cases similar to mine... In the evening I cried, I prayed (although I am not especially religious). My loss of attraction occupied most of my time, when I had nothing to do, I thought about it. Then I contacted psychiatrists/psychologists by email explaining my situation, those who wanted to answer me told me that I most probably had OCD, that everything could come back as before, offering me therapies, unfortunately, we are not on the same continent and it is beyond my means.

In short, it's been a year, a year since my aesthetic attraction to the opposite sex almost completely disappeared, a year since nothing has returned, a year since it gnaws at me from the inside. I just want the attraction to return to the way it was before. I'm afraid it'll never come back or never come back entirely.


I don't really know if it's HOCD or not anymore. I don't really have any anxiety anymore, I almost don't test myself anymore, I don't even think I care about my loss of attraction anymore since somedays. Everyone seems to recover their attraction once in this situation, but not me. I don't even feel empty, not even bad. I don't know what to do anymore. All my life I have loved women, I have found them beautiful and overnight nothing more. I don't want to stay like this, I don't know what to do anymore.
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#1

Postby James_Lee » Mon May 06, 2019 12:36 am

Yup. Classical continuation of this HOCD/intrusive thoughts. You have to understand, that these sort of obsessive problems are very clever. Once you figure out a way to no longer get stressed after having unwanted images, it changes its strategy. It is the same mechanism. Many people report the same fear coming on with intrusive thoughts or obsessions. You have to try and not let it bother you. Because this feeling you describe, of your mind unconsciously making you feel less attracted to girls/more focused on their flaws, is a classic sign of OCD or OCD like obsessions.
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#2

Postby FSBHM » Thu May 09, 2019 1:10 pm

I try not to be bothered by this but it's complicated... Girls are such an important thing to me that not being bothered by what the OCD does is very hard. I just want my attraction to come back and finally start living again, move on.
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#3

Postby James_Lee » Sun May 12, 2019 3:04 am

FSBHM wrote:I try not to be bothered by this but it's complicated... Girls are such an important thing to me that not being bothered by what the OCD does is very hard. I just want my attraction to come back and finally start living again, move on.


That is what OCD does. It takes what you like the most and tries to mess with it. Now that you know how it works, you will be less concerned by it
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#4

Postby James_Lee » Fri May 17, 2019 3:20 am

FSBHM wrote:I try not to be bothered by this but it's complicated... Girls are such an important thing to me that not being bothered by what the OCD does is very hard. I just want my attraction to come back and finally start living again, move on.


Try living with it more. Do not avoid it, try to simply let it pass. Once you are aware of it, it starts to become better.
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