80 days clean of weed

#195

Postby SparkleFly12 » Sun Oct 18, 2020 5:38 pm

20 months in, 16 after my one toke that seems to have set me back a long way. Basically, now I am close to where I was before I took that toke - it cost me 4 months for one toke!!

Im doing better, can sometimes get good sleep now, and the headache is mostly gone! Lymph node swelling is coming down, and feeling slightly more libido now. Just posting here to have a log of my symptoms - I get through most days without thinking about PAWS much; but I do occasionally get a reminder from a mild PAWS headache or excesive lymph node pressure.

Cheers all.
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#196

Postby SparkleFly12 » Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:29 pm

I dont understand what is going on. After getting better and better each week for many months, my symptoms randomly got a lot worse last week. I had just reached a point where I had a couple days that were relatively symptom free - slept well, and had normal libido, and no swelling in the lymph nodes.

But then the headache returned and it was horrible; low libido returned, swolen lyph nodes returned, and now I have slept terribly for the past few days. Last night I woke up 8 times that I can remember, and it feels like I didnt sleep at all. I also have anxiety now, which may just come from the lack of sleep.

I thought I was through this, but here I am. This is bs. 20 months in.
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#197

Postby SparkleFly12 » Mon Nov 02, 2020 1:35 pm

20.5 months

PAWS still comes in waves, lasting 3-4 days; every 7-8 days. Now the symptoms are insomnia/anxiety, low libido, mild vivid dreams, and swollen lymph node. The great thing is that on good days, I get 2-3 days where I am almost completely symptom free!

I dont want to jinx it, but my headache is gone now. Its awesome. Ive lived with it for so long; I cant believe its gone. Even on the bad days.

But the weird thing is that some symptoms got worse. Its like my brain crossed some threshold a couple weeks ago and while I feel a lot better overall, a couple symptoms regressed (on the bad days).

These are insomnia and vivid dreams. For insomnia, I was previously getting 6 hours of sleep almost every night - but would wake up extremely drained every morning; like the sleep was very bad. I felt worse than I would if I actually slept 6 normal hours. Now, on the bad days, I wake up many times through the night and often only get 4-5hrs. But, it feels like I got 4-5 hours. So even though the insomnia is worse, I still feel like the sleep is better. Vivid dreams have also made a small comeback; on bad days Ill have some very exciting dreams that are very similar to those I had in the first few months of PAWS - but they are much milder. They dont bother me much; although they can be disturbing/emotional. But its more just strange that the trajectory of my symptoms changed this late into the game.

Cheers all!
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#198

Postby soldieroflife » Mon Nov 02, 2020 5:52 pm

Looking for some thoughts. Currently on day 15 off weed. I’ve made it a few months before, and went back after submitting to that “only today” smoke. Always results in full bore within weeks. Fri was the first day I’d say I truly lost my sh**. I’d had Covid all week resulting in completely being out of it. Of course was wondering if quitting was causing that as well. Fri was first day feeling better so had a number of beers and some wine. Got into argument with wife over quitting actually as she always minimizes any addiction as weak as she has none. Ended up talking about suicidal thoughts (which I didn’t really know I had) and threatening to do something about it. I don’t think that’s really me, but it scared the hell out of her and I’m so embarrassed and shameful for it. I’ve read so much on here about horrible effects, but always felt pretty lucky till now. She’s pushing for anti-depressants but I don’t want to trade a problem for another. Any similar experiences? Have anti-depressants helped for people or made worse? Thanks
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#199

Postby PAWSsurvivor » Tue Nov 03, 2020 2:41 am

Hey Sparklefly. I'm so glad you are getting some relief!

I'm so glad to hear your headache is disappearing! That's my main symptom so if it can ever leave I will be astonished and oh so grateful. Thank you for the inspiring update.

You are probably just on the edge of feeling better. Soon enough you'll be one of the stories we all look to when we are feeling bad.
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#200

Postby SparkleFly12 » Tue Nov 24, 2020 10:54 pm

Things have gotten better the past couple weeks. I still get a wave of symptoms every few days; but they are very mild and NO more headache. Libido has also increased and overall ED has gotten a lot, lot better. I also can sleep 7-8 hours most nights; and my paws-related insomnia seems to be almost gone (it was very distinct).

Feeling almost 100% now, at 21 months. Ill probably retire from this thread and post a single summary "story" for posterity.

Cheers all
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#201

Postby SparkleFly12 » Fri Nov 27, 2020 8:58 pm

As usual...I eat my words. Got a wave of paws now; low libido, swolen lymph nodes, poor sleep, and some vivid dreams. Been 3 days now.

Sigh...This will never end. At least I have no headache.
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