80 days clean of weed

[AnnaK]

My headaches are gone too. I found that nine months was the turning point. I’m glad you’re feeling better.

[akidual]

@SparkleFly12
Thank you for replying, I really appreciate your replies and posts it's helped me get through these bad waves and symptoms. I don't know what I'd do without this forum. I'm glad to hear that the symptoms are almost gone. Keep it up your doing great. I too have been having a hard time sleeping been waking up a lot throughout the night and it seems like I can't get into a REM cycle because of it. I hope it gets better for you soon.

Sending positive vibes to you all, you're all awesome and thank you for sharing your experiences.

[SparkleFly12]

Just over 10 monthw now!

My symptoms are much, much milder now and I often forget about them for most of a day. But, there is still a cyclical rotation to their intensity, every 7-10 days or so. They are almost gone for 3-4 days, then noticeable for 3-4 days.

When they are noticeable, the symptoms are now moderate low libido, poor sleep, mild headache, mildly swollen lymph nodes (they are much smaller than before though), mild muscle soreness.

I didnt list anxiety because Its getting hard to tell whether the anxiety/depression is just me being me; before i smoked weed I was very anxious; something weed initially helped with; and Im pretty sure what Im feeling now is just normal for me. Its not too intense; and usually does have a root cause. Same for muscle soreness, I do feel it sometimes still but not sure its from my activities the previous day.

The past couplel days my sleep felt different. Like I remember it used to. Still only 7 hours and not the 8+ I need; especilly given the exercise Ive been doing; but my dreams have been so...emotional. I wake up feeling so invested in the dream, and it takes me a few minutes to snap out of it and realize it was all a dream. I did not dream like this the first 9 months of PAWS. I haven't dreamed like that in so many years.

The biggest improvement is: Life doesnt seem to hurt any more. Physically and metaphorically. The headaches are all but gone (biggest relief) , I feel more normal. I dont have nearly the same urge to not be sober; like I did 3 or so weeks ago. I did drink on quite a few occasions (not a lot, a couple beers) from time to time to subside that, but now I dont even feel that urge.

Really starting to feel like this thing is in its final stretches.

Cheers all!

[HDog455]

Glad that you’re doing well. I picked up on your comments regarding dreaming - nearly 12 years since I quit smoking pot I’m still amazed at how vivid my dreams can sometimes be and, like you, wake up still kind of in the dream.

The good news is that dreaming is actually a good thing because it happens during REM sleep. I have pasted a link to some relevant info below. All the best.

https://time.com/4970767/rem-sleep-dreams-health/

[AnnaK]

I dream before I’m actually asleep and I wake up still dreaming. It’s annoying and sometimes the dreams are disturbing and it takes me an hour or so to forget them.

[SparkleFly12]

I dream before I’m actually asleep and I wake up still dreaming. It’s annoying and sometimes the dreams are disturbing and it takes me an hour or so to forget them.

Yeah...I have to say the dreams are usually disturbing. Not vivid and scary like they were the first few months. But just generally worrying; Im always in a situation that makes me feel like my world is sinking.

[SparkleFly12]

I have to say, I am clearly not at the point I thought I was at. Feeling a wave of symptoms the last few days; sort of made worse by stress in my life but it started a couple days before the stress did. I think I have confused my headache going away with myself getting a lot better. The headache was so debilitating I guess when it got better I just thought I was all better.

Feeling anxiety, muscle soreness, headache is back but very mild (thank god), swollen lymph nodes, and very low libido/ED.

Looks like I will be carrying PAWS well into the new year with me. Really F'n tired of this but what can I do...I just want to live a normal life again

[SparkleFly12]

So it looks like my symptoms hve turned back a couple months in intensity...this is the third time that has happened. Mild headaches, low libido, mild depression, and muscle aches are the norm now. I hate this sh**, Im so sick of this.

[biohack9]

So it looks like my symptoms hve turned back a couple months in intensity...this is the third time that has happened. Mild headaches, low libido, mild depression, and muscle aches are the norm now. I hate this sh**, Im so sick of this.

Damn! Sorry to hear that man... i'm in a similar boat just passing 3 months. It's messed how these PAWS come in waves... you must be at that 9/10 month wave...1,3,6,9, 12 etc?

For me just when I thought my sleep was on point, wham I get nailed with the worst sleep since the beginning.. slept 3 hours and then up and that's that, massive intrusion of thoughts that crush me into depression. It pisses me off because i'm experimenting a bit with diet so I never know what's what... could be cutting carbs/keto, could be a workout, I don't even know anymore... food sensitivities... I even got out for a bit of sun thinking that would help anchor my circadian rhythem but it just backfires.

This depression is awful and gives me flashbacks to some periods in my 20's when life was just sucking hard. Starting to think more and more that this is just me and i've been masking and self medicating with weed to get by. It made me not care about the little minutia and gave me peace and enjoyment from my mind being in prison. It's like my brain is its own torture chamber. I have been diagnosed as bipolar in the past with my ptsd/depression/anxiety, so maybe it's just resurfacing again, but I just keep thinking it's PAWS and will pass. Well it better... i've suffered for 3 months, and will go for another 3, but there has to be some improvements otherwise it's just not worth it for me.

Positives are that amongst my crappy sleep when I was having some light dreams and 1/2 awake, I noticed some pretty good nocturnal wood, and i'm now 2.5 weeks of semen retention nofap hardmode, so could also just be neural rewiring from that.

I just wish it was the summer time so I could get out to the beaches and enjoy, but it's depressing in the PNW with mostly cloudy rainy days. I'm only here because I keep getting paid. If that ever ended i'd be on the first plane to Thailand or Mexico and forget this crummy weather and society.

Hope your symptoms clear up quick Sparkle...maybe they will go as quickly as they come.... I know the libido thing has been a struggle, especially since you thought you were out of the dark so recently. I too have the muscle soreness... mainly my legs....quads... even if I don't exercise! WTF!? Must be lack of sleep related?

[AnnaK]

I like your healthy lifestyle biohack. Keep up the nofap it will get your testosterone right. I also used cannabis to self medicate. I should have microdosed but I abused it like Cheech and Chong and now I regret it. I hope Sparkle feels better soon. I’m working on eating better and less. PAWS was easier for me if I ate whatever I wanted to. I feel better now than I did at the three month point, that was pure hell. I won’t take pharmaceuticals. Love and support to everyone who is quitting the evil herb!

[biohack9]

I like your healthy lifestyle biohack. Keep up the nofap it will get your testosterone right. I also used cannabis to self medicate. I should have microdosed but I abused it like Cheech and Chong and now I regret it. I hope Sparkle feels better soon. I’m working on eating better and less. PAWS was easier for me if I ate whatever I wanted to. I feel better now than I did at the three month point, that was pure hell. I won’t take pharmaceuticals. Love and support to everyone who is quitting the evil herb!

Thanks! Health is wealth, so I have no other choice. My testosterone has always been on the high range of normal, it's more the dopamine sensitivity that i'm after, as well as libido issues. My blood labs are all on point. Like you, I should have micro dosed as well, but no had to friggin MACRO dose as i'm so extreme in all things in my life. I always go all in, which is why I just went cold turkey with this.

You know, it's like I replaced weed with food, but lately I think i'm going the right way and getting super lean again by just stopping eating out and slashing my carbs and sticking to animal products, as well as some fasting. I just never know if it's helping or hurting my sleep, which is what I need to protect with my life.

I'll never take pharmaceuticals either, at least not for my brain.... i'd rather just go back to weed, which may happen at some point next year (likely spring/summer if things don't improve).

How long are you in now? I figured 3 months would be way better than starting out, but not really, worse in mental ways. read that 4-7 months are a big turning point, so I have my fingers crossed for that.

[AnnaK]

6 months it was tolerable. At 9 months a lot of improvement. I’m also dealing with menopause and it hit at the same time that I quit so I had trouble teasing out which was bothering me. Now I’m trying to get my hormones right and my diet better. Micro dosing is the way. I don’t think it’s about getting high its about depression medication. The neurotransmitter thing takes a while. Working outside helped a lot with that and sleep and more sleep. I thought I was sleeping too much so I pushed myself and that sent me backwards so I tried just hibernating which isn’t me. After a while of sleeping a lot I woke up and had energy and a good attitude. For some reason the brain heals during sleep and I was very sleep deprived during my addiction to weed.

[SparkleFly12]

I do feel better than 4 months ago..its just frustrating, right when I had started eating well and exercising, another wave comes in and I lose my exercise routine and diet routine. I lost a few pounds the last couple weeks but Im pretty sure I gained them back in the last 1 week with this new wave.

I think the only plus - and dont get me wront its a huge plus - is that my sleep has improved dramatically. I get 7 hours of solid sleep a night, WAY more than before. Come to think of it, the last time my symptoms got worse, my sleep also took a big turn (that time for the worse). Its almost like one part of the brain (related to sleep) improved or got worse; then all the other parts struggle to adjust, and the symptoms get worse during that adjustment time.

I do get the ideology behind semen retention, but I dont think it is a fix to this problem we are suffering. It makes you feel an urge to orgasm, yes, but not any higher libido. I confused these two for a long time. Just a couple months ago I abstained for a week, felt that urge to orgasm, then still had erection problems. There is a difference between feeling an urge to orgasm (which is what abstaining does) and actually having normal libido. They are linked, but they are not the same. Ive lived with this curse long enough to know that the low libido issue is pretty independent from orgasm, at least for me. Even after abstaining for 5 days, sometimes I still feel no drive at all. Other times when I orgasmed 2 days in a row I still feel driven the next day. My only conclusion is that it is a brain chemistry issue related to PAWS, and not related to when you orgasm. For the first year it was hard for me to tell the difference between having an urge to orgasm and normal libido; now I can tell right away.

The past week my morning wood has gone away and my libido disappared; as my other symptoms have also come back. Coming into this wave I abstained for 5 days; but still felt nothing

[biohack9]

I'm not sure I follow your urge to orgasm vs libido... with no libido there is no urge to orgasm unless your brain needs its dopamine fix. This is the reason for retaining, because orgasm floods the brain with dopamine, and puts back PAWS progress. I'm giving it a shot, because I know that retaining and no sex can help boast libido and cure ED. Like alcohol, caffeine, or sugar, orgasm makes me feel horrible the following day so until I can get through PAWS, i'm taking drastic measures.

[AnnaK]

Dopamine is what causes porn addiction. I was once addicted to a lover who was toxic. I found out it was just oxytocin and dopamine rushes that I was addicted to and not him. Weed and meth and coke and pills all mess with your dopamine. I find that libido is directly tied to my hormones after the initial cannabis withdrawal. If it’s ongoing after three months it might be low t or clinical depresssion. I’m not a doctor I don’t know how long it takes for the dopamine receptors to readjust after thc abuse but I know that the dopamine is after the orgasm not before it. There is something called GABA that is supposed to help but I didn’t mess with it this time I was too afraid to try anything.