5 months 10 days

Postby Sherwood1999 » Sun May 12, 2019 8:57 pm

Hello my friends. How’s everyone’s Mother’s Day going?

I know 5 months and 10 days is weird time to post but I haven’t done one in over a month so **** it. Things are going fine right now. I still have DP/DR 24/7 and some depression from time to time. The DPDR used to bother me a lot but I’m finding it much more manageable than it was. Yes it’s still there if I notice it or if I’m looking for it but if I stay busy and try to live in the moment I’m doing pretty good.

For me PAWS never has come in waves. It was 1 month of non-stop horrible depression and then it just stopped one week. Then a few days after that during month 2 the DPDR set in and has been constant but like I said it’s totally okay most of the time.

I did have a setback two weeks ago though. I bought some Xanax and wanted to get high off em with my friend. This used to be a regular thing every month a couple years ago but now it’s a once or twice a year thing these days. I cutback because it’s easy to **** up your life with them and the withdrawals are hell on earth compared to weed.
Problem is though that I took too much this time and blacked out, something I’ve been good at avoiding when using them in the past. Anyways I blacked out for two days and apparently I took some bong rips according to my friend. I don’t remember any of this and almost didn’t believe him. I was absolutely disgusted with myself and threw the rest away. Didn’t have any setbacks as far as symptoms go though.

Am at where I want to be right now? Of course not. Is that gonna stop me from living life? Hell no. I just got back into skateboarding with all the nice weather. I needed a hobby besides videogames.

Now I’m not sure if I’ll ever be 100% ever again although I’d like to think that I would be. If not that’s cool, I’ll still live life the way it’s meant to be.
As far as weed cravings go I have absolutely none.
Good luck my friends. Stay strong.
Sherwood1999
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#1

Postby AnnaK » Mon May 13, 2019 11:30 am

Xanax is a crazy drug. I’ve seen people not remember what they did while high on that. I needed it to deal with the anxiety from weed paws but I was afraid to take it. I wasn’t breathing right either and xanex would have made that worse. Thanks for sharing here and being honest.
AnnaK
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