Question about autism in relationships

Postby questioning » Mon May 27, 2019 8:27 pm

My friend said something to me recently that I've been thinking about a lot. He says he has Asperger's, but the other week he said to me "My friends never ask me how my girlfriend is even though they know about her."

This seemed to me a very strange thing for someone on the spectrum to have said. He also seems to be very in touch with his emotions, and able to sense when people are upset or angry. I've seen him have meltdowns when people have asked for his emotional support, and he very often accuses other people for his hardships - as well as dating several people alongside his girlfriend (though he says she's aware of this...).

I'm a bit concerned he might actually be abusing his girlfriend (at least emotionally), and using the ASD diagnosis (which he got recently) as an excuse. Or have I just been watching too many Netflix documentaries? Is it possible for an autistic partner to be abusive? I've only met his gf a couple of times, so not sure if it's my place to mention it or not?

Curious to hear what people on here think.
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Postby Candid » Tue May 28, 2019 6:55 am

questioning wrote:Is it possible for an autistic partner to be abusive?


As far as I know it's possible for anyone to be abusive, but ime a person with ASD can be upsetting, provoking, and downright rude without intending to be.

I'm wondering what you will do with this information. You haven't given any reason for suspicion. If you were to mention it, what would you say?
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