17 months paws update

Postby thegreatdane » Sun Jun 02, 2019 7:48 pm

Hey guys! Just a quick update. This month i actually had a couple of "good" days where i felt more confident, happy, and talkative. Other than that my symptoms have been present pretty much all the time. But im just really happy that i actually had a small "wave" of days where i felt an improvement in myself. I have so much fear about me not healing, so maybe i am healing after all. The progress is just sloooowwww. But hey, i gotta stay positive. Ill take what i can get. After that wave of 2-3 good days i had some terrible days with very much anxiety and hopelessness, but funnily enough, its okay. Im okay and i will keep pushing and hopefully these "good" days will become even better and more frequent :) But damn, its rare to get days like that. Lets see what month 18 will bring. Anyone in the same boat as me? Still struggling after this long? We are all in this together
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#1

Postby leavepawsbehind » Mon Jun 03, 2019 4:32 am

Hi Dane, I've been doing better but recently got hit by a pretty nasty wave. I've been interviewing for new jobs for the past few weeks and I think the stress boiled over. It happened yesterday while I was out buying a dress shirt, my tinnitus came back louder than it's been in a long time, my throat constricted, I felt like I couldn't breathe and was going to pass out. I barely made the drive back home and I've been a mess all weekend. I have an interview tomorrow that I feel relatively prepared for, I suspect my body is going haywire due to the stress but I'm not sure. I had been doing well and felt relatively normal otherwise until now. Damn stress.
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#2

Postby SparkleFly12 » Mon Jun 03, 2019 7:59 pm

Do you get headaches? Or just depression/motivation issues/cloudy brain/tired?

I'm just past 3 months and still have the mental issues above, but the worst part is the headache. Its been nonstop, except for maybe 2 days a few weeks ago.

Hope you get better soon, 17 months is a long time to deal with paws. Can I ask how much you smoked before quitting and for how long?
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#3

Postby thegreatdane » Mon Jun 03, 2019 8:34 pm

Hey. I didnt really have any physical symptoms during my journey, it has all been a mental battle.
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#4

Postby JimBob8873 » Mon Jun 03, 2019 8:58 pm

Hey guys, hope you all are well.

I have been dealing with insomnia like crazy and vivid dreams. I seem to wake up at the same time every morning and cant fall back to sleep, having trouble not dwelling on it because not sleeping is making me anxious. Its a snowball effect for sure!

This insomnia was okay for the first month but is seeming to be getting worse at 8 weeks now... Any idea of when this lets up or should I just suck it up and quit worrying so much and take the punches as they come?

Congratulations on 17 months! Thats a very long time to deal with this BS that is PAWS...
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#5

Postby thegreatdane » Mon Jun 03, 2019 9:43 pm

Thank you! I had insomnia for the first couple of months as well. I do sleep a lot better now for sure. Yeah 17 months with very little progress is a very long time! I dont even know if its some underlying mental illness that im now dealing with or if its still my dopamine and serotonin receptors healing. I do remember feeling amazing benefits before PAWS hit so i guess it actually just is paws and i will get back that state of being eventually :D
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#6

Postby JimBob8873 » Mon Jun 03, 2019 11:18 pm

I know the feeling of some progression right after getting over the acute withdrawal phase. It really threw me off guard since I was doing so well then I really started to feel terrible. I had a night last week where I just broke down and started crying, I am SO thankful that my girlfriend has been beyond supportive for me. She has been my angel on this rough road.

You may or may not be dealing with a mental illness, its hard to say really, I think PAWS honestly should be classified as a mental illness. Maybe even qualify for disability... But anyway have you tried a really good Omega-3 supplement? That seemed to really calm down my anxiety, Omega-3s also stimulate your endocanabinoid system and help you produce more equal levels of certain chemicals. Also helps with serotonin, etc. Omega-3s are the most abundant fat in your brain, they are necessary for healthy cognitive function. You have probably heard that already but I always need to re-read things to get it to stick. Damn PAWS making everything harder hahaha.

I would recommend nordic naturals Omega-3s with vitamin-d.

I just want to say I am really glad this site exists and that we can all come together to discuss our issues. Honestly makes me feel just a little bit better and thats all I can hope for. :D
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#7

Postby thegreatdane » Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:54 am

I mean i have tried everything. When i live a healthy lifestyle my symptoms get better, but its not that noticable. It seems like the only healer is time for me. You are very lucky to have had a supportive girlfriend throughout the period of time! I have litterally told no one about what im going through.
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#8

Postby dirtySanchez » Tue Jun 04, 2019 3:34 pm

I have same symptoms as you and now entering my 18 month. Here is something that changed my mood for at least 80%.

Start meditating (mindfulness) two times per day - In the morning after you wake up and also in the evening. This should be your most important thing every day. Never skip one day!

Completely stop with mastrubation/ejeculation for some time (60days at least)
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#9

Postby thegreatdane » Wed Jun 05, 2019 10:15 pm

Hey DirtySanchez. I agree meditation for me has defiently made the symptoms better. I also practice Semen Retention actually so i dont ejaculate. I had a porn addiction so i guess im also going through some paws with that. Great advices man, its hard to find someone that actually realises how harmful masturbation is to our system. It targets our dopamine and serotonin receptors heavily and combined with porn it has potential to make life much harder for us. Good luck on everything bro, talk to you soon
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#10

Postby Lucy0611 » Thu Jun 06, 2019 9:00 am

Hi Dane,
how are you today?
Now Im ~ 20 months free and I still have the same symptoms as you.
It takes time.
You are not alone.
Lucy
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#11

Postby thegreatdane » Thu Jun 06, 2019 9:24 pm

Hey Lucy, congratz on 20 months! Today i dont feel very good. I rarely go out drinking but when i do my symptoms get a lot worse the following days. I had a couple of better days last week. It still feels like i make extremely slow progress and i fear that maybe im just not going to heal. How do you feel compared to 6 months? 12 months? Would love to hear your story a little in debt.
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