Need to find a Book

Postby Cercador » Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:23 pm

I would really like to locate a real history I read some years ago, it must have been in a book or in a web article, it was about what happened to a couple that the writter knew, for what I can recall, they were a cute couple, maybe some hippie, maybe artists or so, they have been coupled for many years, they loved each other very much and they had a wonderful relationship, in one given moment he wanted that they marry and that's what they did, but then she changed completely, she started to mistreat him heavily and after a time, sadly, they had to end breaking up, the author referenced that because it was in a book or article about psychology, subpersonalities or something related, he knew the couple and some of their circunstances and he knew that that couple's woman's mother was a total harpy in her own marriage, she grew seeing that and most probably her subconscious got programmed with the idea that this was what wives had to do, and then, when officialy becoming a wife, unconciously and not being able to help it, she got into harpy mode and all went through the drain...

I am watching something like this in this moment, not so extreme because this case woman's mother are not so bad like the one in the history, but the change after marriage have been clear and is having a price.

I would really like to reference them the original written history and not only my imperfect recall of it, so do anyone of you know about that book or article?

Thank You Very Much.
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Jun 05, 2019 4:26 am

Changes of personality after marriage.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... ersonality

I would caution against using or otherwise promoting the “mother in law” or “harpy” effect as being the scientific cause for the changes you are noting in a recently married couple. While it is what you observe and it is now the conclusion you are drawing, what you are doing is speculative at best.

Blaming the mother in law, even if it is to say it is a subconscious and unintentional change;

-1- can and often does drive a deeper wedge in the relationship. You don’t know how that type of accusation will play out, and;

-2- your speculation is most likely way off. The changes you are seeing are probably caused by many, many other issues and variables other than your “harpy” theory.

People change after marriage. It is normal. Mother in laws are often blamed. It is a convenient scapegoat for the natural negatives that occur after a couple marries.
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