Quitting weed once again...

Postby Hellokitty85 » Wed Jun 05, 2019 12:35 am

I have been on and off this forum for probably 10 years or so! Dang thats a long time. I was reading through my old post and how I’ve quit in the past... some give me hope and some give me anxiety to even look at. So here’s to quit #173 (sarcasm but seriously I’ve tried to quit many times). One time I quit for over a year. I remeber feeling much better durning that time. This quit I’ve done stuff a bit differently and I’m really trying to be more optimistic... First thing I’ve done differently was to actually prepare for the quit. I made a prep list and I’m taking a few weeks off of work. I know not everyone can take time off and honestly I’m 8 days in and I’m feeling so guilty for not working. Could of used this time for an epic vacation with my family but no I’m hanging out in my bed like a hermit with weed withdrawls... ugh! But I will say the prep list did help... I made sure I had plenty of easy to eat food since I totally lose my appetite durning quits. I cleaned the house and got the laundry done too. And just other random things to make life easier. Also im trying CBD for anxiety which has helped a bit, and I take a sleeping pill at night because that insomnia stuff gets me angry as heck! With that being said I still have anxiety and insomnia but its not as bad as in the past. My husband is quitting along with me and we have had to sleep separately because we both have insomnia and end up tossing and turning all night...So yeah this is day 8 of no weed for me and I have felt worse today than any of the other days. Really hard to keep it together mentally. I feel like I’m failing at life in general. I’m never happy at any job I’ve ever had and its my son’s summer vacation and I’m having all these withdrawal issues...Anyway, I’m glad this forum is still here and reading other’s stories really helps. I’m feeling pretty determined this quit since I’ve spent so much money on taking time off from my job to do this. I would hate to relapse yet again and waste all this time and money I’ve spent preparing and taking this on. I guess that’s good and bad motivation. But hey making it 8 days is a pretty big accomplishment for me!
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#1

Postby AnnaK » Wed Jun 05, 2019 1:10 am

Sobriety feels good. Don’t give up. It takes time for PAWS to stop ..I had such intense withdrawal. I thought I was gong to die. ..literally. I had to take time off and I was sick and miserable and afraid that everything would not get done. Don’t relapse .... I come here every time I feel like sh** and look at weed just sitting there from a friend leaving it around and am tempted to pack a bowl. It helps to read this and be reminded of how hard it is to quit. Especially when everyone smokes the crap and doesn’t think you need to stop. It took me three times to quit and most say they have tried several times. I have to keep in my mind that if I smoke it I will feel worse not better ..if not at the moment then later. That’s the one thing that keeps me from doing it. PAWS is good for something..haha!
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#2

Postby Hellokitty85 » Wed Jun 05, 2019 4:32 pm

Thanks for replying Annak! I’m just ready to not feel like a mess. Any task I attempt to do completely overwhelms me. Even simple stuff, like I tried to play a new video game and learning the new controls made me anxious and overwhelmed. I had to turn it off and watch TV. At this point I’ve been laying around for 9 days straight. I have no energy yet I can’t sleep. The first week wasn’t as bad as it is now which has me feeling totally depressed. I can’t wait to feel normal again... I’m determined to not give up this time
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#3

Postby AnnaK » Wed Jun 05, 2019 6:28 pm

I know I still feel retarded. I have no idea why they say weed doesn’t have withdrawal issues. It’s hard to get support so I come here. It’s not an innocent natural little herb like they say.
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#4

Postby Maxbor » Wed Jun 05, 2019 7:31 pm

Dolphin Oracle, do you think I should upgrade to the latest and greatest and try again?
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#5

Postby Hellokitty85 » Thu Jun 06, 2019 2:51 am

Completely agree Annak! I hate that no one takes it seriously. This has been the only place I’ve found with so much support for this topic.
Update for today: Going to have to say no to CBD too. It just makes me completely tired and lethargic. Which I am probably already from this detox. But it definitely intensified that for me. I dont want my mind altered in anyway and I feel so hopeless sometimes. Ive laid in bed all day...I cant shake this overwhelmed and anxious feeling. I thought the CBD would help because in the past it definitely helped with my anxiety. Now it is 11pm and I and completely awake. Sigh... none the less I am happy I’ve made it this far without smoking.
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#6

Postby AnnaK » Thu Jun 06, 2019 11:12 am

Celebrities defend cannabis. I think the growers paid for some sort of brainwashing of society. It’s glorified in popular music and even medical people told me they are strong proponents of it. An ambulance driver on the way to the hospital told me to just smoke and the Uber driver that took me home said just smoke. I didn’t even ask them. It’s pushed by people who never even smoked it that much or got addicted. If you make a comment about weed culture or talk about it being a drug online they defend it and get mad ... when it was just pot in the 70’s they had refer madness ideas and called it dope. Now it’s stronger and has higher thc content and it’s almost legal. They do need to legalize so they can do studies and then in ten years tell us how bad it is for you. There was a time when there weren’t warnings on cigarette packs and everyone thought smoking them was cool. Sure weed is better than opiates but it’s still not harmless.
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#7

Postby Hellokitty85 » Sun Jun 09, 2019 11:20 pm

So it’s Day 12 for me and I have been having nausea so bad off and on. I have never experienced this in other quits... I hope something isnt wrong with me... Other than that some mild insomnia and irritability, really low motivation too... :(
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#8

Postby BullFrog » Sun Jun 09, 2019 11:25 pm

Hello Kitty, NOTHING is wrong with you outside of your body dealing with bad withdrawals. Trust me, there is literally NOTHING you can say you are going through that MANY other people have not catalogued here on this forum.

Trust me.

Hang in there. Eat Clean. Exercise LOTS...LOTS...LOTS. Consider cold-shower therapy. Fight against all your urges to seclude yourself and get out in the sun and be around people. Watch stand-up comedy. Don't fear your symptoms. They will not kill you. They simply really, really, suck!

Fight on!
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#9

Postby Hellokitty85 » Fri Jun 21, 2019 3:38 pm

Hi all! Just wanted to post an update as it may give some hope who are really struggling durning the first few weeks of quitting. So I am on day 24 of this quit and I must say this 3rd week of being clean has been way easier than the first 2. I am feeling much better. I am still struggling with insomnia. Some days I have bouts of depression (which is probably just me normally since I’m kinda a depressed person in general). My motivation to do stuff is finally coming back... although I dont push myself too hard. I get cravings still and have this sense of feeling bored. Despite all those things most days I feel pretty good.
Thanks bullfrog for your response too I really needed to hear that. You are right and it makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one going through this.
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#10

Postby InkChalk » Sat Jun 22, 2019 3:22 am

Hi HelloKitty,
You're one week ahead of me! Reading your post has given me hope.
I think you're perspective is positive, and well thought out on how you're seeing your own state of mind/physicality.
It's great, and keep it up. I hope to be at your level next week.

And bullfrog: It's funny you mention stand-up comedy. I've been watching some lately, and it's really helped. Especially when i'm in my own world, and instead of being influenced by dark shows i watch. I find myself thinking about the jokes, and funny situations they talk about. Puts my mind in a good place, and think about funny/fond memories as i day-dream.
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#11

Postby Hellokitty85 » Fri Jun 28, 2019 2:45 pm

Hi all! Little update since I’ve officially hit a month with no weed! Yay!

Good things I’ve noticed: Paranoia when it comes to driving or being around people has dropped significantly. Clearer thoughts. No cravings for it really, just here and there but I’ve had a pretty easy time of just working past that. I don’t feel guilty for having to smoke all the time. Not crazily overthinking everything. Lots of dreams, which I love. I havent had many physical symptoms anymore like I did durning the first few weeks, no headaches, nausea, or sweating.

Other stuff: I still feel just as tired as I did when I was smoking. Insomnia is still so so, some nights I sleep great and some I struggle. Still having motivation issues too (that could just be my fun personality in general though).

Ultimately I’m feeling pretty positive and happy to keep the quit going. So glad I dont have to rely on that stuff like I used to.
Ink! I hope you are doing well this week. Thank you for the positive feedback on my post!
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