when you want to blame your parents. read this

Postby mute » Thu Jun 06, 2019 5:53 pm

I see many people blaming their parents for something they did.
like I used to.
until I realized that they basically did the best they could given their circumstances.
I believe that all people are naturally programmed to be good, but as they get older some become broken more and more.
and a lot of times it manifests in behavior that affects others, like alcohol abuse, drug abuse, toxic personality, violence, emotional abuse, sexual abuse etc

at certain point a person simply cannot control their behavior because their mind sees no possible resolution to whatever problem they are personally dealing with and their mind sets path towards self destruction because that is the last resort way out of pain for that person.
so next time you want to blame your father for physical sexual alcohol drug abuse. ask yourself what made him that way.
and try to understand what pushed him to become that way. and maybe talk to him about it which in turn might help him deal with the problem he has and actually change.
or when your mother is emotionally abusive you can do same thing and try to understand where that came from.

especially sexual abuse. if you are a victim of sexual abuse, instead of feelings of hate towards the abuser, try to ask yourself what kind of circumstances would push you to become someone like that. imagine yourself in his(her) position.
it might actually relieve some pain associated with the whole experience for you as well.
because becoming an abusive person might look like a horrible thing when you are a victim, but consider for a second that the abuser was at one point a victim or abuse and is now a broken person, and what he does is the consequence or whatever happened to him(her) in the past.
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