Sexual preferences

Postby Sereneya » Sun Jun 09, 2019 12:43 pm

Hello. I am 25 years old. I like to watch hentai. But recently, the topic of rape in it has been bothering me. Why do people (and I) like this theme? I read that many people say in Hentai there is nothing wrong, no one was hurt in reality.


But I can't get rid of the guilt that I enjoy watching it. Even if it is drawn. How to treat this?
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Jun 09, 2019 2:02 pm

People have fantasies. How popular was that 50 shades stuff?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... -they-mean

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... -fantasies

Why?

Why, why, why do people have fantasies of raping or being raped?

Honestly, I think all the theories do a cr@p job of explaining the why. And if people that research this stuff for a living don’t have a solid explanation, then I’m sure as hell not going to fret or feel guilty about having the same fantasy as everyone else.

Rape fantasies are common. End of story. You don’t need to understand why they are common. They are. Move on with life.
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#2

Postby Sereneya » Sun Jun 09, 2019 2:10 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:People have fantasies. How popular was that 50 shades stuff?

Why?

Why, why, why do people have fantasies of raping or being raped?

Honestly, I think all the theories do a cr@p job of explaining the why. And if people that research this stuff for a living don’t have a solid explanation, then I’m sure as hell not going to fret or feel guilty about having the same fantasy as everyone else.

Rape fantasies are common. End of story. You don’t need to understand why they are common. They are. Move on with life.



ou have listed topics for women. But I'm a guy. And I am ashamed to feel the pleasure of the sufferings of girls. I hate myself and the guys who like it so much now, I just want to die so that I can feel it.

This feeling eats me from the inside. I tried to apply to myself this way of seeing the situation that you wrote at the end. But it just does not work.
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#3

Postby tokeless » Sun Jun 09, 2019 2:25 pm

You can't feel anything by dying. I guess you either accept fantasies as what they are or you can feel disturbed by them. Stop watching Hentai or keep watching, it's a choice you can make.
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#4

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Jun 09, 2019 3:17 pm

Sereneya wrote: you have listed topics for women. But I'm a guy.


Uh, yep. And the women need you, a guy, so they can enjoy their fantasies.

Listen, it took literally less than five minutes to use Google and learn all about the various rape fantasies common among women.

You can put in 5 minutes of effort and Google fantasies for guys if you want. Or you can continue to try and make nothing into something.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you might have some guilt at first. I even understand why that guilt might lead you to a forum to start this thread.

What I don’t understand is why when told it is common, that you can’t use Google to discover in less than 5 minutes that indeed your thoughts are normal and that rape fantasies are relatively common and very normal for both genders. What I don’t understand is when I post links about studies that show fantasies of rape are normal for women, why you would not then think, “Wow, if it is normal for women, if it is common for them to fantasize about rape, then probably it is common with men as well. Hmm, let me look that up!”
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#5

Postby Sereneya » Sun Jun 09, 2019 3:30 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Sereneya wrote: you have listed topics for women. But I'm a guy.


Uh, yep. And the women need you, a guy, so they can enjoy their fantasies.

Listen, it took literally less than five minutes to use Google and learn all about the various rape fantasies common among women.

You can put in 5 minutes of effort and Google fantasies for guys if you want. Or you can continue to try and make nothing into something.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you might have some guilt at first. I even understand why that guilt might lead you to a forum to start this thread.

What I don’t understand is why when told it is common, that you can’t use Google to discover in less than 5 minutes that indeed your thoughts are normal and that rape fantasies are relatively common and very normal for both genders. What I don’t understand is when I post links about studies that show fantasies of rape are normal for women, why you would not then think, “Wow, if it is normal for women, if it is common for them to fantasize about rape, then probably it is common with men as well. Hmm, let me look that up!”


You write that this is normal. But I do not see the arguments why this is normal. Regarding women, they mean that they are afraid of guilt and so forth. And here is a little different. Women and men are different things and identically applying the rules to both sexes is not right.
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#6

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Jun 09, 2019 3:56 pm

Sereneya wrote:You write that this is normal. But I do not see the arguments why this is normal.


Yep. I even put in my first response that “why” it is normal isn’t very well understood even by the people that study the subject for a living.

You are not going to find a “why”.

It IS normal. That should be good enough.

Again, it IS normal.

Reply with, “But I must have a why.”

If you must have a why...if only a “why” will take away your guilt and that something “is” does not suffice, then you are not honestly wanting to resolve your issue. Note, I’m not saying consciously. At a conscious level you are seeking a remedy, but at a subconscious level you are being disingenuous.
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#7

Postby Sereneya » Sun Jun 09, 2019 4:19 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Sereneya wrote:You write that this is normal. But I do not see the arguments why this is normal.


Yep. I even put in my first response that “why” it is normal isn’t very well understood even by the people that study the subject for a living.

You are not going to find a “why”.

It IS normal. That should be good enough.

Again, it IS normal.

Reply with, “But I must have a why.”

If you must have a why...if only a “why” will take away your guilt and that something “is” does not suffice, then you are not honestly wanting to resolve your issue. Note, I’m not saying consciously. At a conscious level you are seeking a remedy, but at a subconscious level you are being disingenuous.


I do not consider it normal to desire suffering for someone.
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#8

Postby tokeless » Sun Jun 09, 2019 5:07 pm

I do not consider it normal to desire suffering for someone.[/quote]

OK, but I'm not sure why you've titled this sexual preferences? If you think it's not normal despite it being considered normal and quite common for both sexes, I'm not sure what answer you seek.
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#9

Postby Sereneya » Sun Jun 09, 2019 5:25 pm

tokeless wrote:I do not consider it normal to desire suffering for someone.


OK, but I'm not sure why you've titled this sexual preferences? If you think it's not normal despite it being considered normal and quite common for both sexes, I'm not sure what answer you seek.[/quote]

Strange that it is considered normal. It seems to me a lot of kills just because of this. Such desires can gradually grow into a desire to act. I for example have a similar feeling.
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#10

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:25 am

Sereneya wrote:I do not consider it normal to desire suffering for someone.


It is normal to have the fantasy. Fantasy does not equal actually wanting someone to suffer.

You are a 25 year old male. So, unless you are the exception to the rule, tell me what video games you play. What video games do you play where you run around shooting and killing others?

Fortnite perhaps? Rust? Apex?

Do you really want to kill people? NOOOOO! It’s a game. It’s letting the mind be open to the idea of a certain level of fantasy.

And even if you are the exception, the guy that plays EA soccer and steers clear of any game that has any fantasy violence, you do understand that it is very normal, right? You understand it is normal for people, including men to simulate fantasy without having the actual desire to make others suffer, right?

But lets say you don’t even play video games. You watch movies, right? Have you ever watched a gruesome horror film? Yes, in the movie it is a 3rd party doing the hacking and slashing, but you watch, waiting to see what happens next. Your heart rate spikes. You can’t take your eyes off the screen! It gets too much and for a moment you close your eyes!

Do you really want to see people hacked to death and made to suffer? NOOOOOO! And neither do all the other people in the theater. IT IS FANTASY!

Ever watch a disturbing YouTube video? Ever watch graphic content? It is very normal. Most people do watch at least some graphic content at some point in life. Watching it, doesn’t mean they actually want people to suffer. It is normal human nature. It’s termed “morbid curiosity” and it is entirely normal.

There are a small fraction of people that blur the lines. There are a small fraction of people that actually want to see people suffer. There are a small fraction of people that are unable to comprehend the difference between fantasy and reality.
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#11

Postby Sereneya » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:29 am

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Sereneya wrote:I do not consider it normal to desire suffering for someone.


It is normal to have the fantasy. Fantasy does not equal actually wanting someone to suffer.

You are a 25 year old male. So, unless you are the exception to the rule, tell me what video games you play. What video games do you play where you run around shooting and killing others?

Fortnite perhaps? Rust? Apex?

Do you really want to kill people? NOOOOO! It’s a game. It’s letting the mind be open to the idea of a certain level of fantasy.

And even if you are the exception, the guy that plays EA soccer and steers clear of any game that has any fantasy violence, you do understand that it is very normal, right? You understand it is normal for people, including men to simulate fantasy without having the actual desire to make others suffer, right?

But lets say you don’t even play video games. You watch movies, right? Have you ever watched a gruesome horror film? Yes, in the movie it is a 3rd party doing the hacking and slashing, but you watch, waiting to see what happens next. Your heart rate spikes. You can’t take your eyes off the screen! It gets too much and for a moment you close your eyes!

Do you really want to see people hacked to death and made to suffer? NOOOOOO! And neither do all the other people in the theater. IT IS FANTASY!

Ever watch a disturbing YouTube video? Ever watch graphic content? It is very normal. Most people do watch at least some graphic content at some point in life. Watching it, doesn’t mean they actually want people to suffer. It is normal human nature. It’s termed “morbid curiosity” and it is entirely normal.

There are a small fraction of people that blur the lines. There are a small fraction of people that actually want to see people suffer. There are a small fraction of people that are unable to comprehend the difference between fantasy and reality.


I understand. Just once (19 years). I saw one hentai so cynical towards girls. This shocked me. I mean there was violence, cruelty. I also read comments on this hentai. And people found it funny.

After that, I was afraid to watch anime for 1 year. And now, again, because of the "overgrown thought" that people may watch this and not feel sorry this. This thought is a bit like obsessive compulsive disorder. I feel like the fear of touching the doorknobs.

Just what would you understand. For the first time in my life I can’t come to terms with it. For the first time in my life, I can’t put up with it for days on end. And looking for answers.
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#12

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:40 am

Sereneya wrote:This thought is a bit like obsessive compulsive disorder. I feel like the fear of touching the doorknobs.

Just what would you understand. For the first time in my life I can’t come to terms with it. For the first time in my life, I can’t put up with it for days on end. And looking for answers.


Great.

So the title of the thread should not be “sexual preferences”.

The title of the thread should be, “how to overcome obsessive compulsive disorder”.

Your issue isn’t about the doorknob anymore than it is about sexual fantasy. Your issue is about irrational obsession.

The above means you are now trying to switch the entire conversation.

I recommend you seek a therapist that deals with OCD, because it will just keep resurfacing, transferring from one obsession to another. As people convince you not to obsess about ‘fantasy porn’ and that gets resolved, then you will start an obsession over doorknobs or X or Y or Z.

Your responses do seem consistent with OCD.
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#13

Postby squadus » Thu Jul 25, 2019 5:15 pm

As a heterosexual man I would have to say that preferences are important and you should know who you are at all times.
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#14

Postby laureat » Fri Jul 26, 2019 5:37 am

ppl make whatever movie if it only sells good; do not watch stupid movies, do not read stupid books

ppl are curious of rape because their primitive side , animal side of the human

i prefer modern life, modern sex,
it makes me feel more advanced
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