How to support someone struggling with depression

Postby NickyJo » Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:37 am

My boyfriend of almost 3 years has recently been struggling with depression. We have discussed it in depth and he is going to counseling. I want to know how I can support him even though some of his actions are hurtful such as not communicating and spending alot of time away. I understand to a certain degree that he is not himself emotionally. How do I continue to be supportive? Do I give him space? I am very emotionally connected to him and I am hurting because he is hurting. He told me that he wonders if he should leave because it hurts him to see me hurting. I don't want him to leave, I want to find a way to get through this together. He is pushing everyone away not just me. We live together and it's hard to know what to do.
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Postby JenniferL » Tue Jun 18, 2019 3:43 pm


It is better just to be by one's side.

Also, yes, it is better to give him some personal space.

Good Luck!
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Postby Olga275 » Sun Jun 23, 2019 4:44 am

Dear, I am going through similar situation. Do u know if he has been taking any pills? Have you noticed anything unusual and/or unappropriate behavior about him?
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Postby BarryPap » Fri Jul 12, 2019 7:34 am

Say you don’t have any. You don’t need any additional reasons. The only reason you need is that it is not a good fit for you.
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Postby izzy95 » Fri Apr 17, 2020 12:17 pm

Talking talking talking!
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Postby SussyHack » Thu May 14, 2020 5:22 am

You have to give him the attention he needs and, as it has been said to talk to him, discuss why it happens.
Btw, does he have psychologist's consultations? Cause it's very important.
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Postby Candid » Thu May 14, 2020 7:48 am

Protect yourself, NickyJo. If it gets ugly, stay away. Be ready to bail out.

Have a look at this from a former member here:

There are a lot of posts on this very long thread about "being there" for someone who's totally wrapped up in—usually his but also sometimes her—fathomless misery.

Depressed people are selfish. They can't help it. If it goes on for a long time, they unwittingly hurt everyone who loves them. Family members have to take it, but you don't.
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Postby claudialaver » Fri May 22, 2020 6:39 am

In my opinion, you should consult with a professional counselor they will guide you in the right way and help you to come out of this difficult phase. I suggest you consult with Alliance Experiential Counseling with once they are the professional counselors.
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Postby GalmOne » Mon Aug 31, 2020 4:35 pm

Yes, supporting someone with depression can be pretty hard and demanding, but if that person loves you, abandoning them would really deal a severe blow to them; if you don't love them anymore, it's okay to leave, but if you still have feelings for that person, it would be worth sticking with them through thick and thin; it's really what such people need.
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