Weed Quit: Day 10 Learning New Things

[InkChalk]

Hey guys,
I kinda like posting here time to time, as it keeps a track of what progress/falls i've taken.

I've learnt that smoking weed is part of an 'emotional response'. Towards stressful times. Went through a break-up. And Went down another month of smoking.
I had almost had 8 months.
Have to say, i fell apart well-before i smoked weed in May. Probably a month before, my health and diet had started to dwindle. I become distracted and restless, and was playing games, stopped working out etc... I just needed to escape for a while.
In a way i needed it. I think i accepted it as that, and didn't give up or feel defeated, so it wasn't TOO hard dropping the ganj again. (Although took a couple of tries).

The first step was cleaning my perephenalia, and putting it back in the attic.
I no longer throw glass out. Because if i relapse again, i just end up wasting more money buying glass all over again.

Anyhow. 10 days clean. Sleeping has been tough, and also its hot summer, so that doesn't help much either. But i'm feeling great, and being very productive.
I still consider my quit since September a continuous success (despite 2 relapses, totalling 4 weeks) . Because i never forgot about my goal in the long-run.
While i was smoking, i was bored of playing games, and missed reading, and eating properly.
I'm still learning who i am without weed in my life. And developing the life i want to have sober. I also downloaded an app that keeps track of my days clean, which i look at occasionally.

Some things i did different even when i was smoking for those few weeks, was buy smaller quantities. So i had more opportunities to run out of green any more, and test my resilience, and reflect on my habit and keep my sh** together.
I've also been honest with my family, and made them aware of my goals in life and to quit. They've been supportive, and also helped shined light on how they seen me as being successful this whole time, even while i've smoked pot along the way.

I've registered for some courses, and found a new place to rent closer to the city.
So this move will signify some major changes from a transitionary period in my life.

Hope all is well. And if anybody feels like responding; i'd love to hear from you.

-Ink

[ashthewarrior7]

Hi Ink,

I have a question for you. So when you do backt I smoking do your symtoms of PAWS go away? Both physical and mental ones?

[ashthewarrior7]

When you got back*

[InkChalk]

Hey Ash,

I'm not sure i fully understand your question.

When i started smoking weed again for the 3 weeks? Did my PAWS go away... i don't really know... I can tell you I was still unhappy, unhealthy, stayed up late, groggy, unmotivated, etc... i say all that's worse than PAWS.

Every time i have a mini relapse, do PAWS come back with a vengeance?
It gets easier every time!, and Far less sever than it was 8 months ago... Now the main storm, last maybe 3 days. Pretty much back to normal in less than a week. (although my sharpness will take months to fully recover)
Which is why i feel like this quit is continuous. As i've improved a lot, even with brief relapse.
My attitude and confidence has evolved a lot, and i think it's helped.

Reading, and going to bed early seems to help me the most. I don't read when i smoke, which is the thing i miss the most.

I feel i've quit so many times these past years, that i now try to deny the idea of long-term PAWS effects being related to feeling bad.
My idea of living perfectly: Go to bed early, 2 walks a day, eat only healthy food, work out. Drank 8 glasses a water a day. minimal computer use, no cellphone use. And just stayed occupied. Keep a social life, and have a dream to work towards. If i feel bad, i blame it on not following this regiment.


Let me know if i answered your question. Or if what i say sounds cuckoo, i'm cool with being challenged, I'm here to learn more, and improve.

[ashthewarrior7]

Thanks Ink, I'm grateful for your information, I wanted to know if the symtoms go away when you go back to smoking, Like the anxiety?

[SparkleFly12]

Hey Ash and Ink,

Ive been mostly weed free for about a year. Stopped a regular smoking (concentrate and weed) habit last August. Was clean for a month, suffering PAWS and physical withdrawal symptoms. Thinking I was mostly better I started smoking again (concentrates) for maybe 12 nights in a row. The withdrawal and PAWS symptoms I still had did not go away (if I remember right) for quite a few days; it wasnt like I started smoking and instantly felt better. I distinctly remember still feeling shitty the day after smoking, and even the second and third days but thats when things start to blurr and Im not sure if I felt fully "normal" within the 12 days I was smoking (I have a lot of strange symptoms when I smoke regularly too and some are similar to my PAWS symptoms).

In September I stopped smoking again. All withdrawal and PAWS symptoms came back with full force. I was back at square 1. I stayed clean for 3 months, suffering through PAWS, and thought I was through it all. I smoked again for ~15 days, concentrates, and when I stopped I had PAWS all over again. Im now 4 months clean this time around, and am planning to stay away for another few months. I did take a small toke mast week, but it was so small it did not seem to have any effect on my PAWS symptoms.

In all, I believe that PAWS is different than withdrawal from a particular drug; so using the drug that got you PAWS in the first place will not make you feel better (as it would if you used the substance when going through acute withdrawal). PAWS seems to be a generic brain response when you stop doing or using something.

[ashthewarrior7]

Wonderfully said Sparklefly, thank you!!

[InkChalk]

SparkleFly:
thank you for the in-depth response.
I read through your thread, and its a wealth of knowledge.
I feel your approach to weed, and the reasons you seek in quitting, or at least regualting your use is a breath of fresh air in this forum. I find it very relatable. It's taken me a long time to reach this point of not feeling utter defeat when i start smoking again. Then i just give up, and get lost in the smoke for months.


Ash the Warrior:
Answer to your question: Does anxiety go away with weed?
Nope, I think it was worse. When i was smoking i became worried about little things again, talking to my boss. Going to stores. (Even when i wasn't stoned). Little things became, unnecessarily 'big deals'.
My confidence has returned, and my 'chill'-ness is more maintainable.

[SparkleFly12]

Ink,

I am "quitting" for health reasons...weed (esp concentrates) have a distinct negative physical and mental side effects, something I took years to come to accept. Well, health reasons and also Im getting older and want to be there (sober) for the family I hope to have in the coming years (and my parents/relatives now). Smoking a lot is a time killer. I spend a lot more time with my relatives now than I used to and I feel more wholesome for it. Unlike you and most, I

Honestly, Im not sure allowing myself to smoke occasionally will work out...I may find I cant control myself; or that I get PAWS symptoms even after an occasional smoke. And if thats the case then I will give weed up for good. That's something I couldnt say a few months ago, when I started this process but now I know now I can live without it.

Ink/Ash,

I do want to update a little...I mentioned I took 2 small puffs over 2 days last week, the first time in 4 months. I do notice some PAWS symptoms that are worse now than they were last week; and other symptoms are better. Not sure if the two tiny hits I took affect this; because it is has been pretty common for me to have a good week followed by a slightly worse week; exactly what I feel now. So it could just be my typical PAWS continuing.

[ashthewarrior7]

Yeah I think it's the typical paws and nothing to do with the two hits. Any drug isn't good man, especially if our lives are broken in someway, we may not even realise it. I'm honestly jealous of folks who don't get PAWS and there alot of them. But my jealously won't change anything, just got to power through and become stronger than yesterday.

[SparkleFly12]

In a weird way...Im sort of glad I do get PAWS from weed. It sucks sh**, but its a reason for me not to smoke regularly. When I used to decide whether or not to smoke on any night, Id think "why not, since there are no down sides to it" (until I started paying more attention to physical symptoms). Once I accepted/proved those physical symptoms came from weed, I decided to stop regular use. Then when I learned I got PAWS after stopping, I had another reason to never smoke a lot again.

If I only got acute withdrawal for a week or two, Id be waaaaay more likely to start smoking regularly up again.

[InkChalk]

Response to Reason Quitting:
Age is a big factor for me too. Not getting any younger.
I feel ya SparkleFly... I'm getting past prime soon.

update: Day 14
I've had cravings yesterday and today. I think it's diet and lack of activity related. Although i went to the beach today, and had a nice time with a friend.

Yesterday, I even had cravings to buy some beer. But i just looked around the liquor store, and walked out empty handed after thinking about how it wasn't going to make me feel any better after hangovers. I'm pretty proud about that.
I think that relates to your comment on PAWS.
I'm trying to consider the 'longish term' effects, rather than just the 'short-term relief'.

I did break down, and buy chips, ice cream cone, and a soda pop today. Gotta give myself some slack. Craving some healthy food now though. However, consuming large amounts of sugar, may actually increase my craving for weed.
This is just a guess, but i think there may be some connection. Maybe what i'm feeling is Anxiousness, and sugar crash.

It's nice to write things out, and see what i'm thinking.

[SoulFull]

Hey Ink,
Just here to send you some love and support. Hope it all goes well for you. You got this a'ite.

Cheers