1 year 8 months weed free update

[Robb1e_g]

What’s going on guys, I’m back for some insight through my crazy journey of pretty much defeating PAWS.

If you’ve seen earlier posts I basically am PAWS free, and have been living life for the last couple months

However, the past 4 to 5 days it seems like I hit a wave of it, lasting a few hours a day or so and somewhat lingering in the background as well. It’s crazy how I feel amazing and myself again and can just out of the blue hit a wave and it feels like you’re back at the beginning again

I feel fine again while typing this but I had an awful wave today of just the worst desperation and low self significance and everything seemed fake dull and pointless again, just like it felt during PAWS. Also felt so tired That i could pass out. Still wouldn’t wish this in my worst enemy, as awful thoughts come to my head when this hell happens. Mainly thoughts of feeling like I can’t go on, I tend to feel low self significance when this really severe bipolar like wave hits me

I was wondering if it’s possible to hit another wave after not having any symptoms for so long?

Maybe it was from a month ago or so earlier from trying weed twice again to see if it was actually the cause of my PAWS? Maybe just some late affects?

It’s crazy how the mind works? And I of course will be persistent again with getting my mind back on track like it has been where I thought I had defeated PAWS.

Just looking for answers,

Thanks guys

[dhae2604]

Are you a fat guy? They say thc stores in fat so it has delayed reaction. But im not sure.

[Robb1e_g]

I’m actually very fit, just reached under 9.5 percent body fat, extremely active all the time, maybe too much sometimes @dhae

[dhae2604]

Okay brother you seems healthy physically
Does your symptoms change now? Or still the same as before?
What i read here is someone have delayed reaction withdrawal from weed. He have it after 3 months.... Some are 1.5months etc

[Robb1e_g]

Yeah it was about a month or a month and a half, and my symptoms are the same as they were before I overcame PAWS the first time, and it comes in waves like before as well, I feel fine while typing right now

[dhae2604]

Hope you get better soon
My battle mostly mental, intrusive unwanted thoughts anxiety, disturbed sleep, my mind is troubling me etc. Can u relate??

[Cthompson21]

Hey Robb1e_g

Hope this passes soon. I am almost a year of weed PAWS in and 3 and a half of PAWS from drug abuse. I've gotten a lot better but I still have lingering issues. I've made an effort to accept that I might always have issues with the damage that I've done with drug abuse. It might get better but we will probably have little waves here and there for a long time to come. I think basically PAWS alters chemistry and little things might trigger symptims. It will just get better and better, and you will still see improvements since brain issues take up to 2 years to go away to get to a more normal state (from what ive read) but you might always have lingering issues that persist every now and then. For me it is the anxiety and I hate it, because I feel like it holds me back, but i know theres nothing i can do unless i accept and try my best to move forward. Hope this helps, wish you the best man!

[Head in loud]

Hang in there bro most likely the final PAW before home free. I think it was a mistake to try weed again, specially since just like rest of us you are susceptible to weed PAW.

[Robb1e_g]

Thanks @headloud and @cthompson1 I appreciate the help. Thompson you are definitely right about always having some lingering issues that you will always have to deal with, as I still had to deal with anxiety. Though it was to the point where it didn’t bother me at all and I was able to control it easily. So it’s completely possible to pretty much get rid of all the affects of it. I still think it’s crazy how waves can still hit me this far along without having symptoms for awhile. Headloud you were probably right that trying it again wasn’t a good idea, however it gave me closure in the fact that it was the weed that was doing this to me as I had doubts throughout the withdrawal process if it was weed or the lsd that did it to me.

[SparkleFly12]

Hang in there man, sounds like it could be normal. PAWS symptoms start out affecting you 100% of the time; then slowly youll get a day where you have a few hours of reprieve. Then more days with more hours feeling good. Eventually you hit a point where you have more good hours in a day than bad; and then eventually whole good days with bad spells lasting a few hours. It tapers off with time.

My point is, its probably not completely gone, even if you've had a lot of PAWS-free days. its an exponential decay; and it probably will take quite a few months of being completely symptom free before you can say you are completely cured.

I doubt smoking a couple times would affect it; if so it would have happened right away. I dont think PAWS symptoms would be triggered by a single (or 2 or 3) use of weed though. PAWS to me seems like a generic brain response when you overuse something that produces dopamine; not specific to one particular drug. I say this because apparently PAWS symptoms are the same regardless of what drug caused it. So, at least in my analysis and few experiments, to set your PAWS clock back, you have to smoke quite a bit and get your brain re-adjusted to having lots of THC; which IMO takes at least a few days of smoking a LOT. This isn't fact though, just my observations.

When I was 4 months clean I smoked a small amount over 2 days and it didnt affect my symptoms' trajectories at all. On two prior occasions though, I smoked a lot (10-15 nights in a row of concentrate). One time was after 1 month; the other time was after another 3 months clean; both times I incorrectly thought I was free of PAWS and so partook (the symptoms were very mild the days I made the decision). Both times my symptoms returned full force. I was able to tell within 2 days of stopping that my symptoms were back and worse.

[leavepawsbehind]

I wouldn't worry about it, it sounds like you're recovering and will be fine. You're still in that initial 2 year window. A few minor waves sound about right. I suspect you would maybe have some waves too if you experienced a lot of stress or interpersonal conflict while you're still in the sensitive PAWS window.

[BullFrog]

Hey Robb,

Sorry to hear that you are going through a wave after 2 months of virtual symptom free! I was talking over this with @Ashwarrior awhile back and I suggested one should wait 3-4 months of symptom free before saying they are cured and he suggests 6 months. I am inclined to agree with him. Due to the nature of WAVES with paws, one needs to consider a lot of time of being free from symptoms before confidently saying they are fully recovered (and that coincides with my experience where I overdosed with cannabis oil and decided to be more careful and try again 3 months later and after only 4 LIGHT and cautious intakes over one week...my current 1.5 year battle with PAWS began - meaning my brain was still healing after 3 months and reintroducing thc so soon set it all ablaze). And I think that is because of the nature of how the brain heals. It is slow and HIGHLY complex. I mean, I know most people here would give anything to have the two months you have had just for the sake of such a long relief! But I imagine it is also very demoralizing. Keep sticking through it and keep us posted as always. The fact that you had such a long break means your brain is definitely recovering.

My theory is as the brain heals and builds new neuropathways, sometimes it either a) "misfires" in its rebuilding process and causes a setback or b) new neuropathways are trying to override old pathways and it causes strain so to speak. Again, I am no doctor, but that makes the most sense to me as to the existence of "waves".

[Robb1e_g]

Thanks guys I really appreciate the support and advice, I figured my brain still needed time, it was just a big shock to me how harsh the waves were, just kind of in and out for about 5 to 6 days, today I’ve been okay after readjusting my thinking and calming myself down and so was the day before yesterday, so I’m definitely handling it better

[BullFrog]

It seems 100% consistent across the board that being afraid of the symptoms and onset wave leads to anxiety and fear/anxiety ALWAYS makes the symptoms worse and last longer. Definitely calm yourself as best as you can and it will undoubtedly help. Everytime I feel symptoms spike or sense a wave coming or symptoms starting to rise, I become anxious and think "oh no it's about to get worse!" and....ironically, such fear makes it worse. lol *facepalm*. PAWS has never killed me, symptoms have never lasted indefinitely without any sense of relief and thus fearing it and being anxious about it is useless. Granted it's incredibly hard to NOT fear the symptoms as they jump out at us, but we must do our very best to not be afraid.

Fight on, friend!

[leavepawsbehind]

I think feeling fine and then having a wave that brings you right back to feeling as bad as you did at the beginning is normal for PAWS. Of course, your body doesn't respond to logic and when you're in the middle of the worst of it, no amount of reasoning can really calm the fear.