I can't find the right job for me.

Postby HolisticHippie » Wed Jul 10, 2019 11:11 pm

I am extremely picky when it comes to a job, but it feels justified to me. I'm middle-aged, and I guess I feel like life is too short to not have a job you love, or at least can tolerate. I have had too many jobs I couldn't even tolerate. I have spent too many years being miserable at work, and now I am finding myself unable to choose one. It isn't just the specific job itself, it's also other factors I would have to deal with regarding those jobs.

My biggest criteria is that I need a job with afternoon or evening hours because I have a circadian rhythm disorder that dictates the hours my body will sleep. It isn't hard to find a job with these later hours, but then I am limited. For example, you can't find an office job with those hours. Working in an office is something I've never been able to try for this reason.

Another criteria is that I am an introvert who doesn't like dealing with the public, or customers. I am fine with coworkers, but working in customer service or the general public is a complete nightmare to me. I hate talking on phones, I hate cashiering, I get frazzled mentally and I feel like running away to the woods every time I have a job working with the public.

Aside from those criteria, I live in the north where 1/4 of the year we are physically unable to drive on our roads because of snow and/or ice. I have lost so much money and almost gotten fired for calling in to work when it was unsafe to drive. So I need a job where I don't have to drive there if I am unable to. In other words, either something where I'm working from home or something where my days are flexible and I can make up my hours when I am able to come in.

So far in my life I have worked in factories, stores, and hotels. Whenever I work in hotels, I get sick regularly, being around the dirty laundry and germs. So that's out. Factories are unhealthy for many reasons and they tend to have the worst people. I quit my last job because my boss and main coworker were mentally abusive, and factories usually have mandatory overtime that prevents you from having a life. Working in retail, well, no explanation needed there why that sucked! It's worse for an introvert.

I have tried many times to start an online business, but thats just as time consuming as working overtime in a factory as well as it not paying a cent for a few years until you start earning a profit, IF it's even successful. I want to work from home though, so I've been looking at the ads for work from home jobs but I don't have any work experience doing anything on a computer.

I actually went to a therapist about this problem but she was no help, every solution she suggested I have already tried. I sometimes see some office jobs that I could do (the ones that don't require experience) but they are for the morning shift which I can't do, or they are too far away. Not that I'm against moving, but I would need a job paying $20 an hour or more in order to afford to get a place. Right now I am living in a mobile home where I only pay $300 a month so I will never find anything this cheap anywhere else so I want to hold on to this place, maybe I can get by working part time, but still haven't found anything that fits my criteria. Having a roommate isnt an option, I have lived with people before and I never get enough sleep with someone else there, and being an introvert I need my solitude otherwise my mental health suffers.

At the moment I am unemployed, living off inheritance money. But I will run out of money soon so I'm really starting to panic.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:59 am

People earn based on their relative ability to provide value to others.

Given what you posted, the value you are currently capable of providing is limited both in quality and quantity.

In every instance you discussed, there is an adequate supply of more capable others willing to provide superior value. There are people willing to drive in cold weather, work whatever hours, wash laundry, etc., and do it more reliably than you. Even in your online endeavors, more capable people are willing to provide value above what you can provide.

Therefore, what you currently are capable of earning is accurately reflected not based on what you personally feel is justified, but rather by what people are actually willing to pay you.

If you want the right job for you, figure out what good or service people want that you can provide better than others. What might that be? What special ability do you have that cannot be easily done better by another person?
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#2

Postby HolisticHippie » Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:15 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:People earn based on their relative ability to provide value to others.

Given what you posted, the value you are currently capable of providing is limited both in quality and quantity.

In every instance you discussed, there is an adequate supply of more capable others willing to provide superior value. There are people willing to drive in cold weather, work whatever hours, wash laundry, etc., and do it more reliably than you. Even in your online endeavors, more capable people are willing to provide value above what you can provide.

Therefore, what you currently are capable of earning is accurately reflected not based on what you personally feel is justified, but rather by what people are actually willing to pay you.

If you want the right job for you, figure out what good or service people want that you can provide better than others. What might that be? What special ability do you have that cannot be easily done better by another person?


Well there will always be people who are more capable of more things than me, but I am also more capable than a lot of people too. The amount I have earned has varied over the last 30 has been anywhere from $5 to $16 an hour. I could easily go out tomorrow and get a job making $16, but my goal is to be happy, not to be miserable.

To answer your questions, I can't think of a single "special ability" that I can do better than anyone else, all my jobs have been jobs anyone could do, but that shouldn't matter. I am trying to find a job that fits my criteria, and I can't believe there wouldn't be any out there.
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Jul 11, 2019 4:33 pm

HolisticHippie wrote:...but that shouldn't matter. I am trying to find a job that fits my criteria, and I can't believe there wouldn't be any out there.


You can’t believe.

Well, you are “middle-aged” so it isn’t like you have not had a few decades to scroll through monster.com and see all potential jobs available.

It is like going to a restaurant, looking at a menu, and then declaring, “I can’t believe they don’t have BBQ vegan lobster with ketchup on the menu!”

If your criteria is BBQ vegan lobster with ketchup, you have to cook it yourself. You are never going to sit back and scroll through menus hoping that BBQ vegan lobster with ketchup somehow magically appears on some random menu.

In other words, if you “can’t believe” that no one out there has invented a job for you that meets your criteria for happy employment, you better double check your belief.

My guess, is just like BBQ vegan lobster, your job isn’t out there. Your belief is flawed.
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#4

Postby HolisticHippie » Mon Jul 15, 2019 6:21 pm

Sorry I tried to quote your post so I could respond to each comment separately but this site told me my post was too "spammy" so I will just have to try posting my response...

Well honestly I haven't spent the last few decades scrolling through job ads. I never went to college so I didn't go through any testing or soul-searching for what I wanted to be when I graduated. My dad kinda forced me to get my first 2 jobs, McDonalds, and then a factory (where he was a supervisor) where I worked for nearly 20 years. Since then I have taken jobs in other factories as well as hotels and stores, but I found that I wasn't happy in any of them for various reasons. When my dad died, I quit working because I had enough from an inheritance to buy me some time to try to build a business. So I haven't spent that much time going through job ads, enough to know there isn't much out there I wanna do though. There are new jobs added to the world every day in new fields, there are jobs that exist now that didn't exist even a year ago. I guess I have a positive attitude that what I want is possible to find, I just believe the universe gives you what you need when you need it and asking for help is one way to make that happen so I'm just trying that right now.

Regarding your menu analogy, a restaurant is supposed to have a limited menu, they can't make it all, lol The restaurant of life has EVERYTHING. :D I've been trying to "cook it myself" but that isn't as easy as it sounds. Most entrepreneurs fail, and I have tried multiple things multiple times, I just haven't found the right thing for me or maybe i'm not cut out for entrepreneurship.

So you honestly think there is NO job out there that will make me happy? Sometimes I feel like this could be true but that just sounds like too negative of a mindset to have. I don't want to have the belief that I will be miserable no matter what job I have and i'll be settling my whole life. I have already spent half my life settling.
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#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:47 pm

HolisticHippie wrote:The restaurant of life has EVERYTHING.


Really? How many people in life are gainfully employed as switchboard operators? How about ice cutters or log drivers? How many people are elevator operators or chimney sweeps?

Life doesn’t have everything.

So you honestly think there is NO job out there that will make me happy?


Because regardless of the job you have discovered something you did not enjoy, yes, I honestly think NO job will make you happy.

It isn’t the job, it’s you. Every job you will actively find some aspect of the job and that will make you unhappy. You will blame the job, when that is not where the problem lies.

As another analogy you might enjoy, there are 3+ billion women in the world. I bet you could find something wrong with every single one of them. As you stated, you are picky and feel justified. Are the women the problem or is it the person that actively finds the flaw in every woman they come across? Instead of a woman, you find the flaw in every job you consider.
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#6

Postby quietvoice » Tue Jul 16, 2019 12:42 am

~
The mind works toward what one pictures, and reality becomes that which is out-pictured from the mind.

If you keep on seeing what you don't want, you will continue to receive experiences which reflect what you don't want.

Create in your mind what you do want. Then, within your mind, see, hear, feel that which you are wanting is already yours. Picture yourself among other people rejoicing that you are living that which is already yours. Rejoice in your own mind that it is yours.

Also know that people want to receive value from you, that is their intention. Live in your mind your way of fulfilling their intention. Doing so will allow abundance to fill your life.

It is done.
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#7

Postby HolisticHippie » Tue Jul 16, 2019 4:19 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
HolisticHippie wrote:The restaurant of life has EVERYTHING.


Really? How many people in life are gainfully employed as switchboard operators? How about ice cutters or log drivers? How many people are elevator operators or chimney sweeps?

Life doesn’t have everything.

It isn’t the job, it’s you. Every job you will actively find some aspect of the job and that will make you unhappy. You will blame the job, when that is not where the problem lies.

As another analogy you might enjoy, there are 3+ billion women in the world. I bet you could find something wrong with every single one of them. As you stated, you are picky and feel justified. Are the women the problem or is it the person that actively finds the flaw in every woman they come across? Instead of a woman, you find the flaw in every job you consider.


I still argue that life does have everything. I found some statistics for the examples you gave me...

Switchboard operators: 177,000
Chimney Sweeps: 6500
There are no ice cutters now because mechanical refrigeration replaced it so you could count that as a "new" job that exists. There never used to be HVAC jobs before and now there are 332,800 so that's probably more than how many ice cutting jobs there were. There are also people who work on elevators and build them, in fact my town has a factory that builds elevators.

My whole point here is there is someone out there getting paid for every task there is to do on this planet. When you google how many jobs are there on the planet, it says an estimate of 5 billion. All my point is, out of 5 billion jobs, there HAS to be one that I would love!

As for your billion women analogy, obviously you can't compare all the women in the world to the number of jobs I know about, it would be impossible for me to have learned about billions of jobs. And humans are flawed, jobs aren't that complex. There's really just a few factors; the tasks you do on the job, the boss and coworkers, the hours you work, the location, and the pay. I think the odds SHOULD be good of me finding a job where 5 out of 5 is favorable.
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#8

Postby HolisticHippie » Tue Jul 16, 2019 4:26 pm

quietvoice wrote:~
The mind works toward what one pictures, and reality becomes that which is out-pictured from the mind.

If you keep on seeing what you don't want, you will continue to receive experiences which reflect what you don't want.

Create in your mind what you do want. Then, within your mind, see, hear, feel that which you are wanting is already yours. Picture yourself among other people rejoicing that you are living that which is already yours. Rejoice in your own mind that it is yours.

Also know that people want to receive value from you, that is their intention. Live in your mind your way of fulfilling their intention. Doing so will allow abundance to fill your life.

It is done.


All very true! But first in order to know what I want, I have to figure out what I don't want. It's the same as when finding a partner, that is why we go through bad ones before we find the good one, so we can know what we don't want so we can pinpoint the exact thing we do. :)

So what I want is a job where I'm working from home OR where I have the freedom to go to work when I want. I want a job where I can work independently. I want a job where the task is enjoyable (that's pretty easy, I have actually enjoyed many of the tasks I've done at my jobs). But I have known this for years, I have held the vision in my head for years of having a job like this. I guess that is why I am reaching out for other alternatives since the job isn't appearing in my reality.
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#9

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Jul 17, 2019 12:13 am

HolisticHippie wrote:
Switchboard operators: 177,000
Chimney Sweeps: 6500

When you google how many jobs are there on the planet, it says an estimate of 5 billion. All my point is, out of 5 billion jobs, there HAS to be one that I would love!

I think the odds SHOULD be good of me finding a job where 5 out of 5 is favorable.


Yes, technically someone must eventually win the lottery. Even though mathematically the odds are severely stacked against winning, you can certainly keep buying tickets.

Your logic, is because a winning lottery ticket exists, you are justified in buying tickets.

6500 chimney sweeps out of 5 billion jobs. Let’s say chimney sweep was a job you liked. Good luck getting one of the 6500 slots available.

Your point is that it should be possible. Hey, I agree with you there. It is even more possible that you get struck by lightning too. It is possible.

The fact a job might exist somewhere that you will like...good luck with your needle in a haystack search.
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#10

Postby quietvoice » Wed Jul 17, 2019 3:01 pm

HolisticHippie wrote:So you honestly think there is NO job out there that will make me happy?

I honestly think that no job out there will make you happy. The reason why I say that is that happiness comes from inside of you, not from outside events or appearances.

You can use those outside of yourself things to jump off into feeling happy, but it still is generated from within.

You can use those outside of yourself things to jump off into feeling disappointed or angry or depressed, but it still is generated from within.

Money comes to you when you provide value to others. What value can you provide to others for which they would be willing to pay you? You don't have to tell us here, just something to keep in mind.
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#11

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Jul 17, 2019 8:41 pm

Appropriate for this thread.

https://youtu.be/xP-D4X0Vafg
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#12

Postby Candid » Fri Jul 19, 2019 7:29 am

HolisticHippie wrote: So what I want is a job where I'm working from home OR where I have the freedom to go to work when I want. I want a job where I can work independently. I want a job where the task is enjoyable ...


That's my job: working from home when I choose and in an office when I choose, working independently and at enjoyable tasks. Lots of people have this job. You'll notice I haven't actually told you what I do. You need to know what you can do for others.

What do you have to give? You know, the service you offer other people.

Whether it's a job or a partner, as long as all you can think of is what you want, you won't find it.
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#13

Postby ChessPlayer » Thu Aug 01, 2019 1:30 pm

I am blessed I don't have this problem. I have money and life is an absolute joy with the freedom it brings. Working for £10 an hour? Is that the value of your time? WOW! shocking. My time is very important to me and to spend it how I want. After all it is my life. Get more money forget about a job IMO.
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#14

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Aug 01, 2019 2:00 pm

ChessPlayer wrote:I am blessed I don't have this problem. I have money and life is an absolute joy with the freedom it brings. Working for £10 an hour? Is that the value of your time? WOW! shocking. My time is very important to me and to spend it how I want. After all it is my life. Get more money forget about a job IMO.


Interesting.

Based on your previous posts you a currently working for -£ per hour. Your time currently has negative value as you pursue a goal of building self-sustainable eco structures.

You are not getting more money. You are currently losing money.
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