1 Year Since Pot

[Cthompson21]

In about a week I will be one year free of pot. I had PAWS from substance abuse for 2 and a half years almost, got somewhat better to the point where I was almost normal again, then tried smoking and my life has been a rollercoaster ever since...almost like a hit a PAWS reset button.

I am not the same person but I am doing somewhat better. I had periods where I thought I was recovered but got set back a couple times when I had to take antibiotics which messed with my gut flora and nervous system. Hopefully I wont have to take them again anytime soon.

When I smoked I had massive, I mean MASSIVE anxiety like never before, I just wanted to die and tried to kill myself. I was so upset. I had DR and DP which I have never experienced with my first round of PAWS and my vision is still a little funny sometimes but that has mostly gone away. My insomnia that was the hallmark of my first paws came back full force, that still hasn't gone away. I dont know if it will but I hope so.

So who am I today? A different me. A stronger me. A drug free me. I have become a totally different, tougher person because of all this. I feel like I have lost a lot and now have mental limitations but I have gained a lot also. The me before PAWS was a somewhat selfish, entitled young man that had some things going for him but he was too insecure to see it. I would give ANYTHING to be able to go back and say that drugs are not the answer but I cant. All I can do is keep moving forward! One day at a time. All the best to everyone struggling.

[SparkleFly12]

Glad to hear you are doing better. Was your original 2 year paws from weed or other drugs?

Just curious...when you smoked again a year ago, was it just a one time smoke? Or did you smoke a few times, or days in a row? Ive hit the "paws reset" button a couple times by smoking for a week or two in a row...regret it dearly

[Cthompson21]

My PAWS was from other drugs. This drug called strattera being the main culprit, and my abuse of it. I think it messed up my brain enough that it took smoking ONE time for PAWS to return. I avoid all drugs now as best I can, a lot of rx meds mess with me. I recovered once so hopefully I can again. Sorry you've reset too! It really sucks.

[SparkleFly12]

Wow, thats rough. Smoking once set you back that far..I have smoked once in the past few months, a very small amount, and it didnt seem to change my PAWS symptoms. .Im also surprised that PAWS came back after you used a drug that wasnt the one that caused it in the first place!

Anyhow, hope your symptoms continue to improve. I guess, as you said, your brain just couldn't handle it and its probably good to just stay away from it all.

[Cthompson21]

Yeah. One time. Couldn't believe it. Never again! But I have improved a lot in a year. Another year I will be even better. Sadly I will never be the same as before drugs so now I wish I could change the past but I have learned my lesson.