no confidence in competing

Postby ced316 » Wed Jul 24, 2019 4:09 am

Growing up my parent tore me down emotionally and mentally. I was called a sissy or a punk, little bitch or what not. It even got to the point that my 'parent' would wish i would be beaten up by people in the neighborhood for their satisfaction. This went on for years

Now I have been in martial arts for along time and I realize the connection it has to my child hood trying to undo the emotional damage that was done by rebuilding a new self image- but now I'm being encouraged to compete in tournaments. I've spoken about this in other threads, but i have terrible anxiety that is brought about when even the thought of competing comes up.

I guess the thought is, if I win thats great
If I lose then it validates all the terrible things that I internalized growing up.

The anxiety is the collision between how I want to view myself vs the mental abuse that I have lingering in the back of my mind.

how Do I over come this ?
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#1

Postby Candid » Wed Jul 24, 2019 5:43 pm

ced316 wrote:I guess the thought is, if I win thats great
If I lose then it validates all the terrible things that I internalized growing up.


I guess you have to get in there and do it, ced -- and keep going back and doing it, whatever the outcome.

You've been doing martial arts for a long time, and it's my understanding a big part of that is psyching yourself up.

Think of it this way: if you don't do it, you definitely lose.
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