desperate788 wrote:I'm not an expert my diagnosis should be intense anxiety depression and mental deterioriation. .
Doctors said I had psychosis when I was at mental ward.
INSOMNIA makes anxiety and depression worse, and leads to reduced cognitive function ("mental deterioration").
Acute insomnia (ie. not sleeping at all for several nights) would cause psychosis.
It becomes a vicious cycle if you use stimulants (such as caffeine-containing food or drink) in order to function at work... or just to get out of bed.
Ever since I've known you it's troubled me that you get whatever medications you want. I'm not clear whether your doctor is lazy or you're able to buy things without prescription. Will you clarify that for me?
I believe you need a complete medication review and a battery of psychological tests. Your doctor should be able to do the review and refer you for the tests.
In the meantime, a few ideas:
1) Scheduled worrying time: Make a list of your worries then cross out the ones you can't do anything about. Make a plan for the ones you
can do something about, set a time limit, and carry it out. Don't spend more than an hour on your list, and to start with do it every day at the same time -- NOT after your evening meal.
2) Give up green tea, DON'T replace it with coffee, read labels on everything, don't order anything with chocolate in it when you eat out... IOW, get caffeine completely out of your life. I don't want to read that you "can't" give up green tea unless you want to be messed-up and moaning for the rest of your life.
3) Put on some light, loose clothing and exercise for an hour a day, again NOT after your evening meal. Run as far as you can then walk for a while then run again. If you haven't run for years... too bad! I'm sure you sometimes have to run (or at least walk faster) when you cross the road, so just get out there and do it!
4) Don't have your evening meal too late in the day. You should have done all your eating by 8pm. After that, no snacking!
5) Get to bed by 11pm every night. Bedtime should be preceded by some tai chi, yoga, or any gentle exercise that relaxes you. Once you're in bed, STAY THERE. You've done your worrying (see 1) and it's time to S-L-E-E-P. Some people use a relaxing audio of guided imagery; I'Il send you some if you're interested. But no matter what, don't get up. While you're in a dark room and lying down with your eyes closed, you'll be getting some quick bursts of REM even if you don't sleep. It can be the difference between sanity and psychosis.
I sympathise with your need to take something to knock you out at night, but tokeless is right as usual, it's a slippery slope to addiction. You can do better.