Am I an abuser

Postby SimpleSi1988 » Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:03 am

Hello guys,

Just got something which is troubling me and which has troubled me over the years which I would like some honest views on.

I'm a 31 year old married man and love my wife very much.

When I was a kid i had a Jack Russel dog called Rebel, i absolutely loved him to bits and he without sounding cocky loved me.

I honestly and genuinely can't remember how old I was but I'd probably say I was younger than 15.

Anyway my dog Rebel had never had any kind of sex with another dog and one day I thought I'd help him out by masturbating him. I rubbed his testicles and touched his penis too, I'm not sure how many times but I remember his testicles being smooth and his penis being wet.

It is incredibly embarrassing to even type it let alone tell anybody (hence why I haven't told anybody) and I honestly and genuinely am not interested in dogs or any other animal for that matter nor will I ever be.

I don't know if I done it once or more as I honestly can't remember but if I did do it more than once it wouldn't have been a load of times.

I suffer with pure ocd and have not so nice intrusive thoughts, they're not nice at all.

One thought is that I let my dog lick my penis although i honestly can't remember if I did or not.

I'm pretty worried and concerned that I might have sexually abused my dog when I was a kid.

I don't think I enjoyed doing it and as I said I am in no way, shape or form attracted to dogs or any other animal for that matter nor would I ever let a dog lick my manhood or any other part of my body which basically in my opinion shouldn't be licked.

I picked our dog up yesterday and i don't know why but I looked at his penis, I didn't do anything but after I had cuddled him I looked at his penis. It immediately sent my OCD spiralling as well as the intrusive thoughts but I haven't ever touched my our dogs penis nor do I ever want to.

I read an article about Peta saying that masturbating a dog is molestation, that got me very concerned as I'd hate to be regarded as a molester.

I'm deeply worried about this guys so any advice, help or opinion would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

Simon
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Aug 06, 2019 12:09 pm

Go get treated for your OCD.

You have 18 posts, all about sexual obsessions related to being a “bad” person. You search out information to confirm your obsession, e.g. searching a PETA website so you can obsess some more.

The ONLY problem you have is you failing to get therapy or focus on the real issue, your OCD.
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#2

Postby SimpleSi1988 » Tue Aug 06, 2019 1:32 pm

Hello,

Thanks for the reply.

I obsess over a good few things but I'm honestly and genuinely trying to fight and deal with my OCD better, without the help of a professional.

Honestly speaking, I'd be a little embarrassed if I went to see somebody. The idea of having somebody sat infront of me and me telling that person what concerns I have would terrify and greatly embarrass me.

I was just wanting to know what people's opinions were?

I know some people have sex with animals and that's up to the individual, whatever makes them happy.

I personally don't want to have sex with any animal nor have I ever wanted to.

I was just worried that I am genuinely a bad, seedy person due to a few things I done as a kid.

I still am to be honest but I know that the OCD plays a large part in overthinking and obsessing.

I love life, am a big animal lover and genuinely want a happy, healthy and hearty life.

I think I read on one of your replies about doing something good and helpful each day, great advice.
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:00 pm

SimpleSi1988 wrote:I was just worried that I am genuinely a bad, seedy person due to a few things I done as a kid.


Yes, I know. Any person that reads your multiple threads on the same topic knows. And telling you the same answer for the #th time will do nothing to help you.

I encourage anyone that reads this thread to not enable your OCD, by feeding into this moronic obsession you have with being a "bad" person.

Get OFF the Internet. Stop trolling for attention with your obsessive behavior. Go to a therapist, get help. Focus on your OCD.
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#4

Postby SimpleSi1988 » Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:32 pm

Whilst I respect your answer I disagree with some parts of it.

I know you've helped me immensely in the past and for that I'm grateful but I'm absolutely not "trolling for attention".

OCD makes you obsess over things whereby sometimes you examine every tiny detail (hence the obsessing) so posting a question regarding something I haven't mentioned before isn't trolling for attention.

I absolutely understand that OCD is a major factor in somebody worrying and worrying (not trolling for attention though and certainly not acting like a moron) and I am gonna try and work a little harder to combat and deal with my OCD a little better.

I have made fantastic progress with the help of my wife and myself without the use of a therapist/professional but every now and again I need a little reassurance if something is worrying me.

I don't think at all this makes me trolling and it certainly doesn't make me a moron.

Thanks for the answer(s) once again, I still don't know if what I did was monstrous or not although I know a lot of people in this day and age would think it was monstrous and maybe sick too hence why I've kept it to myself, well excluding this forum.
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#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:50 pm

I didn't say you are a moron. I said it is a moronic obsession. There is a big difference.

And no...you are not making progress, because here you are once again, posting the same topic, once again trolling.

And yes...you should feel bad, but not about your past behavior. Instead, you should feel horrible about your current behavior. Your current behavior is a drain on your wife, your community. Your current behavior, your obsessive trolling about your past is the real problem. You keep focusing on your past as being "bad" when actually it is today, NOW that is bad, unacceptable behavior.

Think of all the pain you are causing your wife. Is the not bad? Think of all the other people that must dedicate their time to dealing with your current behavior. That is what is sad. That is where your mind should focus. If you want to feel bad, feel bad about what you are doing to your family and your community today.

Your post is "Am I an abuser" and the answer is that you are currently abusing others with your obsessive behavior.
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#6

Postby SimpleSi1988 » Fri Sep 20, 2019 10:39 am

Hello,

Thanks for that last reply, even if it was a little direct (although sometimes direct is the best way).

I don't use the term moronic very often so forgive me for my misunderstanding.

Although I respect your reply and your advice/guidance I definitely disagree with you with regards to making progress. I was a lot worse and have made big progress, how much progress I've made is important because I know there's still a lot more progress to be made and I'm working hard to make that progress. With regards to trolling again that's a word I don't use a lot but my view of trolling and what it means makes me disagree with you.

I don't feel bad about my current behaviour at all as I know in this day and age there is a lot of negative mental health, with the world the way it is today a lot of people suffer with negative mental health so I think feeling bad is catastrophically wrong. I don't think you should overthink and worry excessively which is what I do (guilty as charged) though but i am genuinely and honestly working on making more progress. I agree to an extent with what you're saying regarding the past and firmly believe the present moment and the future is more important.

My wife knows I suffer with ocd but doesn't know alot of the concerns I have (or overthinking worries) so I don't think in the slightest I'm abusing her. The same applies to my community.

Overall I know what I must do it's just sometimes the OCD which I don't like at all flares up and I'll overthink on something which is most likely or was most likely something harmless and most definitely not sinister or sly in any way, shape or form.

I respect and appreciate and am grateful for your replie(s) both on this post and in the past, you have honestly and genuinely helped me a lot and given me tremendous peace of mind and although I disagree with you on some things I can absolutely appreciate, see, understand and agree with what you're saying.

Sorry if my post angered you in any way, without sounding like I'm rolling over I most definitely did not intend to do that nor did I crave attention. The OCD flared up and I ran for reassurance, what I should have maybe done is fought it and questioned it.

I'm gonna start and watch some YouTube videos, they look pretty good. A female therapist has made some and they look pretty good.

Thanks once again for the advice, guidance, help and general time. I know you don't at all have to reply or take the time.

Cheers,

Si
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#7

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Sep 20, 2019 12:10 pm

SimpleSi1988 wrote: I don't feel bad about my current behaviour at all as I know in this day and age there is a lot of negative mental health, with the world the way it is today a lot of people suffer with negative mental health so I think feeling bad is catastrophically wrong.


My point was and still is that your “feeling bad” was about your past behavior, when in fact if you were going to feel bad, then it should be about your current behaviors which are unacceptable.

Just because others in a community are also sick, because others also have the flu doesn’t make it okay for you to go around coughing all over everyone. It is immature to point towards others and say, “They are sick, they are coughing, they are draining the community of resources, so it’s okay if I do so as well.”

My comments regarding abuse where again drawing the distinction between past and present. You are thinking about how you might have possibly coughed on somebody in the past, while not feeling the slightest bit bad about coughing on people right now, today!

SimpleSi1988 wrote:Although I respect your reply and your advice/guidance I definitely disagree with you with regards to making progress. I was a lot worse and have made big progress, how much progress I've made is important because I know there's still a lot more progress to be made and I'm working hard to make that progress.


So you have finally started getting the rest you need? And you are even covering your mouth when you cough? Good for you. Seriously.

Point being, getting sick is not the problem. In life, everyone gets sick once in a while. But, up until this latest post there were no indications that you were doing anything to get better. Your behaviors were unacceptable, in that you kept repeating the same posts about some past event, while failing to recognize the impacts it has on those around you in your current life.

In fact, you still seem to minimize the impact of your sickness on those currently around you, those that must deal with your behaviors. You rationalize that because others are sick and because they cough on others, that this then makes your behavior of coughing on others okay. It doesn’t.

It makes your behaviors understandable, but it doesn’t make your behaviors okay.

And you still have “a lot more progress to be made”? So you are going to continue impact others around you for how long? When will you finally be over your cold? You might wish to believe that your illness is confined to only impacting you, but that is not true. Others have to negotiate your sickness, whether you wish to believe it or not.

Heck, consider me dealing with your illness. Like your wife, I understand your behaviors. I choose to volunteer my time to engage with you. This doesn’t make your behaviors okay, just because we are understanding and willing to sacrifice time for you instead of using that same time to help other people instead. In other words, your illness isn’t just a you issue. Other people become involved.

Anyway, I’m glad you feel like you are making progress. As stated, this most recent post does seem better than previous posts.
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#8

Postby Elhoussaine » Mon Sep 30, 2019 11:14 am

Hi my friend ocd is not an incurable problem , no you need just some time with a psychiatrist and you well become normall , good luck :lol:
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#9

Postby tokeless » Mon Sep 30, 2019 4:24 pm

I know some people have sex with animals and that's up to the individual, whatever makes them happy.

Oh really? Ever considered animals as with children do not give consent to have someone have sex with them. So, their happiness is a result of another suffering.
As for your OCD, you seek reassurance without utilising it as much as you seek it. This becomes a merry go round because you just seek more and do less. You seem selfish to me and that's not OCD, that's your personality imo. Your wife must have the patience of Jobe.
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