PAWS from weed (2nd Time) My Story

Postby lovelife2019 » Fri Aug 09, 2019 12:31 am

Hi Everyone,

I would like to thank everyone here for sharing his or her input here. This forum has helped me tremendously with my addiction of weed. It is one of the only places were the true symptoms of weed withdrawal is noted.

First I have come to the conclusion that the notion that weed is not physically addictive is complete BS. It is very physically addictive and it really does damage the brain.

I’m 37 and I started smoking when I was 18. Loved the way weed made me feel and how it heightened my senses. I was a rather healthy and smart when I was young, and weed never slowed me down. I had a few wakes up calls in my 20s and I quit for a while but I was never able to kick the habit. I was a functioning addict and I did barely finish College (Although I know I would have achieved so much more if I wasn’t high all the time).

Weed had turned into a life style for me, and it had been I while where it wasn’t “fun” anymore. I had turned into an antisocial weirdo with crazy thoughts and actions. I was always broke because weed had given me different perspective and it made me lazy. It had made me think I’m some sort of an artist and the world owes me. I was always paranoid of running out of weed and made it my priority to get some. When I turned 29 I hit real rock bottom. I had only $10 in my account and I remember my father telling me that I’m loser. I decided to quit for good. This was the most difficult period of my life. I didn’t have any work and all my friends left me because I wasn’t fun anymore. So I was lonely broke and going through PAWS.

For the first 6 months it was HELL. I felt like I’m in a solitary confinement. I lost interest in everything I had suicidal thoughts that would pop in mind out of nowhere. I couldn’t sleep the whole night and would pass out during the day. I could not go out because I was broke and I couldn’t eat well. I had days where I really questioned life, but I prayed to the creator to help me. Around 7 months, I met a girl and things started to change. It’s amazing how things can change so dramatic after some intense pain. Around 9 month I landed a Job with a really good pay and got very busy. After one year, I forgot what PAWS was and I was a different person. People at worked called me the most calm and emotional stable person they have ever met. Not knowing that I was mess a year prior.

Around 14 months of being sober, I had a health problem and was lured into getting a surgery that was not necessary. This surgery caused a lot of nasty side effects and a great deal of anxiety. I became really depressed. I remember going to beach and buying joint from someone and smoking it with my girlfriend. It made me feel good again and next thing you know. I am back to smoking weed again because it took away the depression I had from my health problem, and boy do I regret relapsing.

Fast forward to 3 years, I became emotionally unstable and lazy again. I was getting in fights at work and ticked off by my bosses.

I started growing cannabis on my own and this is when I realized that is plant is a lot more harmful than one thinks. Growing cannabis gave me different perspective one the plant. Invested about 4k and grew some of the bomb skunk that I have never seen. I understood how difficult it is to grow cannabis. Also, figured out how toxic the weed was that I have been smoking. A lot of weed is sprayed with chemicals and grown with nasty chemicals. They spray to keep the spider mites out, and used chemical fertilizer to make the weed potent. Growing cannabis organically with only soil is very difficult and impossible in mass production.
After many trial and errors I was able to grow some weed organically without any pesticides or chemical fertilizers and it looked nothing like the weed I had been smoking for the last 20 years. The highs were not very intense but mellow. I also realized how harsh the live cannabis plant could be. I would get stringed by the plant every time I touched it, and the plant looked so strong before drying.
This is when I knew that this is has to be bad inhaling it in my lungs everyday.

I decided to throw away everything I had grown and for the last time make peace with the plant and quit for good. This time I made the decision to quit for the rest of my life regardless of what life throws at me.

I learned that weed has taken a toll on my immune system over the years and I have done some damage without giving the proper time to recover.

I quit about three months ago and PAWS hit me even harder the second time around. So bad that I quit my Job and take a break. First week was weird like I was high on something else. Second week I became so emotional that I snapped at everyone at work and I cried. I quit before I got fired. This time around I am having bad physical symptoms. I had warts going on my knees the first months. My legs were numb during the night. My dreams were so intense that I would not want to go to sleep. I’ve been having nightmare in the past 3 months. I cant even put a sentence together and have ZERO motivation for anything. I had a Job interview yesterday and it did not go well at all. I’m stuttering all the time. Again I am back at ground zero. I know that I will eventually get back on my feet, but this time its even harder and I blame my self for smoking again.

I wanted to share my experience to help other struggling like me. For us weed addicts, smoking even a little after quitting can be devastating. The only solution is to kick the habit for good. Life is full of health, financial, and personal problems. We need to have the emotion stability to deal with them. Weed takes that away from you. Personally I feel like it is one of the worst drugs out there. It slowly creeps in giving you a temporary joy, but then it takes over and morphs you into a person that isn’t the true you.
lovelife2019
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#1

Postby kingyellow242 » Fri Aug 09, 2019 4:05 pm

Dear Lovelife2019,

Thank you very much for your insight into your life and PAWS experience im actually at month 4 i quit back in April of this year and man dont believe the lie that weed is not addictive and harmless. The first 2 months were the worst, anxiety, insomnia, depression, feeling disconnected from the world, I was feeling so bad i took almost a month off from work. Ive been praying to God and i thank God i found this website because this is the only place on the internet where you can find real people talking about the true effects of marijuana paws.

What really touched me about your story was the way you said you started smoking again, honestly the thought had crossed my mind but after listening to your story Im not going back to weed.

I recommend you take magnesium glycinate or citrate for the anxitey cbd oil and cbd tea helps too, also get a good Multivitamin, and fish oil with alot of omega 3 in it. It will take time to heal but you will get better, slowly the joy will come back, get outside go for a brisk walk or jog, eat good food and fruits. Weed makes life fun but it's not a true fun it's an illusion, i can agree with 100% when i stopped smoking i lost alot of friends who weren't really my friends at all we just smoked together, i was sad at first but then i realized I don't need those kind of fake friends in my life so you don't either.

Also when I smoked i used Tabacco blunts so i developed a nicotine addiction with the weed addiction so ive been dealing with paws from both substances not cool!!! Lol

Stay encouraged don't give up take care of yourself and keep us updated we are here to support each other!!!

God bless you bro!!
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#2

Postby lovelife2019 » Sat Aug 10, 2019 12:54 am

Thank man.
Im trying to stay away from the CBD as I know there is not enough research on it and its related to weed.
I am eating very healthy and taking supplements to help.
I went to the doctor and he told me I have the symptoms of Narcolepsy and Sjögren's syndrome. I have dry eye and mouth in the mornings. Major depression somedays.
I feel like my brain is trying to rewire and recover and in the process I am having to to deal with all these side effects.

I always remind myself that how weed made feel bad and useless, and the cravings go away.
Im sure all the people that quit weed had were tired of feeling like sh** all the time and thats what it does to you when you smoke daily.

We smoked for years so recovery will be a slow process. I am not going through PAWS again and I am done with weed. this is hell and no one should go through it. Im sure God will rewards those who stay strong. My life changed before after I stopped smoking and I went back to the same hell when I started smoking again.

Stay strong everyone. Great thing will come after recovery. Always remind your self what made you quit weed when you crave it and try not to ever smoke since you had a problem with weed to begin with, and remember weed changes you as a person.

God Bless!

.
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#3

Postby Cthompson21 » Sat Aug 10, 2019 6:34 pm

Thanks for sharing, stay strong.
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