Help with a fetish!

Postby leatherjoan » Mon Oct 07, 2019 7:23 pm

I'm over 60 and been doing this since I was 9 or 10, mainly alone, but sometimes with a partner; and I have never understood what made me do this. I have a rubber raincoat fetish.

I grew up on LI with my parents and a sister. One day when I was home 'sick' during a thunderstorm and I went to the closet and took out both my sisters and my own hooded rubber slickers. They were knee length, front zips and hoods with drawstrings. I think every girl I knew back then had at least one. I have no idea why I did any of this. For some reason I zipped mine up and turned it inside out, Then I put hers over it, slipping the sleeves down inside each other, and zipped it up as well. Basically I had one rubber raincoat with rubber inside and out.

I went downstairs to the spare room, and laid the raincoats out on the bed. I took off my clothes and knelt down next to the coat and slid my arms and head into the bottom opening. Next I lifted my arms up and let the coat slide down over me so that the hoods were hanging in front of me. I took some time getting both zippers up to the top, it was important. Then I laid down on the bed and placed the hoods over my face and head, I pulled the drawstring on the outer hood tight and pulled it around my neck and tied it under my chin.

I still have no idea what possessed me to do any of this. I pulled the pillow down under my neck so I could get some air in around the back of my head and pulled the duvet cover over me. I started feeling myself and rubbing my breasts and crotch through the layers of rubber. This felt fantastic and must have gone on for half an hour or more. Suddenly it was getting much harder to breathe through the rubber hoods and I began squirming and rolling back & forth. My breathing got faster, I started to perspire and after a while I started to squirm and struggle; I think I spasmed and something inside exploded. It was like a powerful electric shock, but very very pleasurable. I untied the hoods and pulled them off my face. It was both overwhelming and terrifying. I never realized how dangerous it could have been nor how stupid I was to have tried it.The stickiness of the rubber, the way it gripped my face, head and neck, and the tightness achieved by rolling side to side had combined to give me my first orgasm. And, there was no going back.

That brings me to where I am today. Now, after having been through dozens of rubber slickers, (which are getting really hard to find), it's still my favorite way of solo pleasure. I was married for five years to a Brit (passed suddenly about ten years ago), and when I confided all of this to him, he was thrilled. Apparently rubber trench coats and raincoats (mackintoshes) are very big in the UK. When we vacationed in London he took me to a rainwear shop and had me fitted for a couple of long, heavy, latex lined rubber trench coat mackintoshes which still I wear to this day. One shiny black, the other gray, when buckled up tight, whether lying in bed or walking to the park, even sitting in church; the same feelings return. I have also purchased a lot of leather wear, trench coats to pants & shirts. That's because I like the look and feel of leather and its apparent normality. While it's not as obviously fetish based, I know people look.

He also introduced me to rubber and leather straitjackets, full suits and hoods made specifically for bondage and breath control. I was terrified when we opened the packages, but again, for reasons I still can't comprehend, I let him dress me, bind me, smother me and pleasure me. It was unbelievable with him in control; but rubber slickers have always been my go to way to get off. Sometimes I'll even sleep in them just for the feeling of safety and comfort I get. I even made some modifications to them to make it easier to masturbate.

In my small New England town, I've heard I'm called either the Rubber Widow or Leather Widow, depending on time and season and my style of dress. Has anyone else ever heard of this? I can't believe I'm the only one. As I said, I have no idea what made me do it the first time, but I'm still doing it today. And it drives me crazy wondering if I had not been home alone that day, if it had been a sunny summer day, or my mother had never bought us those rain slickers, how might my sexual development have gone. I have read extensively about this, and I believe Kraft-Ebbing wrote that the first recorded instance of a rubber mackintosh fetish was the case of a 19 year old British female.

I hope someone out there can help.

Thanks.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Oct 07, 2019 7:48 pm

leatherjoan wrote:I hope someone out there can help.


What precisely are you looking for help with?

You have 50 years on the planet of successfully navigating a fetish. You have researched the fetish. You understand there are others out there into similar fetishes, e.g. rubber and breath control.

What is your fetish stopping you from achieving in life? Another relationship? No. Is it taking up too much of your time? Maybe.

Can you flesh out a bit more regarding what you perceive as the problem?
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#2

Postby leatherjoan » Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:36 pm

What I want to know is what made me do it the first time. I don't recall even wearing a rubber slicker before that day; although I do remember it being almost as though I was under remote control. I know why I kept it up, it feels good! And as I said, I know others are into it, but certainly disproportional to the number that wear leather or rubber.
Why did I take such care to make sure I was encased in the raincoats, and how come I had my first orgasm when I could not comprehend what I was doing?
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Oct 07, 2019 10:35 pm

leatherjoan wrote:What I want to know is what made me do it the first time.


Fetish research doesn’t have specific answers for specific fetishes. The best explanations available are general in scope. Basically, a fetish develops when a person associates an object with the pleasurable chemicals released during sex.

A fairly well known study investigated boot fetishes. Images of boots were show to young males. No reaction. Images of attractive women wearing the boots were shown. Males obtained erections measured by blood flow. Boots alone were reintroduced to males and now they had erections. Presto, you have development of a fetish.

The above paragraph is stimulus response conditioning.

Why some objects are more prevalent than others is speculative. It might be the case that prepubescent you found scary movies exhilarating (releasing similar chemicals) and an actor was wearing a raincoat. Maybe you saw movies or read stories of kidnapping. Maybe a parent or sibling wrestled with you and held you under a blanket. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe...

The bottom line, no one can tell you and you will never know what made you do it the first time. The best you can do is craft a story if you like. Some people do. Some people try to trace a fetish back to a specific event or series of events in their life that they then claim as causal. It isn’t true, but it comforts them to believe that they know so that’s positive.
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#4

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Oct 08, 2019 4:03 am

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#5

Postby leatherjoan » Tue Oct 08, 2019 8:01 pm

Thanks for your help; I have read that before. Unfortunately nothing seems to be able to answer the question of preference.
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#6

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Oct 08, 2019 9:07 pm

leatherjoan wrote: Unfortunately nothing seems to be able to answer the question of preference.


Availability is at least part of the answer.

A person cannot fetishize an object that at least to them is unknown to exist. An individual that belongs to the Sentinelese tribe on the island of North Sentinel, for instance, cannot possibly develop a raincoat fetish. You, on the other hand, would have never been likely to develop a sexual fetish associated with turtle shells.

If your question is the preference of one object versus another object versus no object, then it comes down not only availability but primacy effects and strength of association. Sexuality is a sandbox. Kids explore. Kids play. Kids develop, socially, physically, cognitively, sexually. This means at some point in time a child will experience an initial chemical release that is related to sexual reproduction. Whatever objects that can be associated with or used during childhood experimentation that happen to be in the sandbox will most likely be given preference over other objects in the future.

You are right. Any specific answer to your particular preference is unavailable. Research can't pinpoint why a raincoat is given preference over stilettos. Maybe you didn't have access to stilettos that day. Research can't pinpoint why a raincoat versus no object, except that we know play and exploration are a normal part of being a child and we know that strong associations can develop between an object and chemicals released into the brain.
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#7

Postby leatherjoan » Tue Nov 05, 2019 9:38 pm

I can't believe it's been a month and no one else has admitted to doing this!!!
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#8

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Nov 05, 2019 9:51 pm

You do realize that:

-1- This forum is not very active. There are maybe 10 people in the universe that regularly post.

-2- A rubber raincoat fetish is not common.

This thread has all of 1,600 views. That’s it. I’m not sure of your expectations, but maybe if the thread had 20,000 views you might get someone claiming a similar experience.
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