Is this withdrawl?

Postby thatindianguy » Wed Oct 23, 2019 8:38 pm

Hello from India!

I'm a guy in his late 20s who has been smoking weed using Bong from the last one and a half years everyday. I only used Bongs and slowly my tolerance increased and so did the amount of weed I smoked.

Since it isn't le-gal to possess or smoke here in my country, I always got my score from a shady dealer I used to go and buy from. We don't have any concept of THC %age or grams etc. so I am not sure how much I have smoked but you can say I clearly abused it because I used bongs (home made using Pepsi bottles at first and then a proper acrylic bong). The last few weeks I smoked, I didn't feel the high that much so I used to smoke 3-4 shots out of the bong in one go. I am an idiot.

I recently stopped smoking cold turkey after a full blown panic attack I had one early morning (at around 5 AM in the morning; I was up and working). The panic ensued once I had smoked 3 shots in one go. I also had about 4 cups of milk tea with high amount of sugar after I smoked. It felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest and I couldn't shake the feeling that I am going to have a heart attack.

I went to a psychiatrist the same day in the evening because I honestly thought I was having a panic attack (I'm still not sure). The psychiatrist listened to me but I didn't share the fact that I used to smoke weed. I am also a smoker and I usually smoke Marlboro Gold Lights or Advanced which the psychiatrist asked me and I told them. I was prescribed Lexapro along with Clonazepam - 7 pills each for a course of 1 week.

I have a history of child abuse and my parents were pretty narcissistic so it wasn't really good. I had never seen a psychiatrist before this and neither did I have any depression or ant-anxiety pills. I Googled and decided I would only take Lexapro when I was feeling anxious and my heart would beat out of my chest and I flushed away the clonazepam because I saw that it does become an addiction and I don't want to get addicted to another thing after two already harmful things I was taking (weed along with ciggs). I flushed the clonazepam pills and took 1 pill which did give me some relief and I was able to sleep.

4 days after quitting weed

I live alone and I tried giving up cigarettes but I am not able to do so. I don't know if those nicotine gums will help or not. I can still feel my heart racing while I am lying down on the bed and it is really hard to take my mind off of it. It feels like I am going to have a heart attack and I also feel spasms around my heart.

I got an ECG done which mentioned it was a Borderline ECG which means it is not good but its not too bad. I also discovered that I have a Possible Left Atrial Enlargement and Sinus Arrythmia. All this came out just with 1 ECG test which I got done after my Psychiatrist suggest me to get.

I am 4 days clean and I do not plan on smoking anymore I want to completely give up my cigarettes habits as well. I smoke as much as 7-10 in a single day or on a stressful day, I can even finish up a whole box of 20s. In the last few days I am smoking less and ignoring some cravings I get. I tried going cold turkey but I can't do it. I don't have that kind of support..and I live alone. I am not able to face the withdrawal from cigarettes.

As I am writing this, I had another episode where my heart started racing like crazy and I HAD to take a Lexapro and now I feel a bit better. But I still feel something sticking out towards my back in my chest..I have spoiled my body.. :|

I have no other person to talk to since weed is still not le-gal here in India and my parents don't know I smoke.

My relationship with my parents have improved alot in the last two years and they have changed and become a lot more understanding. But sharing with them that I was hooked to weed for years is something that I know I cannot do.

As I am writing this, I feel some spasms around my heart and I am not sure if it's withdrawal or if something is wrong with me. I have an appointment in the morning at 9 AM with a heart specialist and I will be telling him everything and I will also get a few tests done.

Other withdrawal symptoms I am having

I am not able to sleep at proper times, I keep lying in bed with no sign of sleep and my heart races like it never has before. My appetite for food is gone and I am just not able to eat anything properly. Food looks extremely unattractive and I don't feel hungry at all.

In the last few days I have been spending a lot of time with my business partner due to some work we are starting so I don't really feel anything when I am outside home. I don't feel my heart racing (ok maybe a little bit, but I can easily ignore it when I am with someone).

I am already going to see the heart specialist tomorrow, but I just need to know. Is this withdrawal? Or is there something wrong with me.

I will know for sure tomorrow but before that, I would love to hear from this community.

Thank you!
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Postby Head in loud » Thu Oct 24, 2019 3:02 am

Welcome to the forum. What you described is all typical symptoms of PAW..panic and anxiety attack, insomnia, lack or no appetite, spasm, depression, sweating, depersonalize and dark thoughts. It is good to see the doctor for your heart pain/spasm, just to make aware this is a wild wide but very doable. You will have bad day, worst day and good day. Don’t panic and make sure never to touch weed again. Only one puff can set you back day or week. If you start to smoke again then the next PAW will be 100 times worst .
I suggest you try to relax and be easy on yourself. Start to exercise and eat veggies and not greasy food. Overall I would think you will feel much better sooner considering you only smoke and didn’t do oil or wax. PAW is much much worse for oil and wax users. I’m 478 days in and still struggle with PAW.
I also suggest you read other post on this forum, I own a lot to this forum for over coming the worst of worst first 6 months of PAW.
Good luck!
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Postby thatindianguy » Fri Oct 25, 2019 8:51 am

Thank you so much for replying!

An update I'd like to share. I went to the Heart Specialist yesterday and got an Echocardiogram which came out as mostly normal and only Trivial Tricuspid Regurgitation which he said can be healed if I make a few lifestyle changes.

I also mentioned to him that I've abused Weed for 1.5 years which he said he wanted to ask me about at the first ECG visit but he didn't.

After the Echocardiogram, he gave me a Holter that was on me for 24 hours. The Holter gave completely normal results with the lowest beat at 33bpm (while sleeping) and the highest being 123bpm (after smoking a Cigarette).

All other results came out as normal and my heartbeat is regular now.

This is my 6th day without weed and I don't plan on smoking anymore at all. I'll also give up cigarettes and I'll make the necessary lifestyle changes as mentioned.

At the end of the consultation, the doctor said these are just clear withdrawal symptoms and I have to just brave it myself with my will power.

I'll keep participating in this forum for support/to give support to other individuals who need it. I'm so glad I found this forum!

More power to everyone who's on this path. We can do this!
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