How Do You Not Die?

Postby RosaD » Tue Dec 10, 2019 9:57 pm

Hello Everyone

I have been suffering with panic disorder and social avoidance for 23 years. My quality of life is poor. I go days without seeing or speaking to a person. Most of the time, I don't talk -- not even to myself. However, Isolation is solitude to me. Still, Humans are not meant to be alone so much. And, it being alone 24/7 is started to show.

I can no longer manage a conversation. It is almost as if I forgot how to speak English. And, the longer I am alone, the more I want to be.

Periodically, I question my existence. How did things get this bad? I don't want to die in my home alone.

A question for long time suffers, how do you survive this?
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:22 pm

RosaD wrote:How did things get this bad? I don't want to die in my home alone.

....how do you survive this?


By deleting social media accounts and disconnecting from the Internet. That is how you survive. It removes a crutch that keeps you isolated.
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#2

Postby RosaD » Wed Dec 11, 2019 3:44 pm

Hello Richard

Thank you for both replies. It is important to have feedback. Here, I will continue to search for a solution. Joining this forum was my first attempt to communicate on a message board is at least ten years. In other words, I use the internet. But, it does not hold me into my home.

One thing you mentioned may help. I thought about asking someone to pick me up for an event. I am always punctual, and could use this to create relationships with others.

Thanks again

Rosa
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Dec 11, 2019 4:10 pm

RosaD wrote: In other words, I use the internet. But, it does not hold me into my home.


Then what are the metaphorical “crutches” that enable your isolation? What are the ways you occupy your time to alleviate or otherwise reduce your discomfort, anxiety, etc?

Do you watch movies, read books, meditate, play games, engage in hobbies?
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#4

Postby CandyApples » Wed Mar 04, 2020 2:24 am

I can understand isolation, but to forget to speak? Do you not hum, or sing within your walls, or talk to your pet if you have one, or even mutter to yourself as your on here even? Do you read at all? I agree, I do not think humans are meant to be alone especially if it makes you unhappy, but know that you dont have to jump into a pool of people/crowds either. You can still maintain some of your safe space by letting an individual in at a time. Not good with people? Its ok, maybe start volunteering at a wild life rescue. I started once a week, all I did was wash dishes for the animals and did laundry. Didnt have to speak to a soul. When I was done, I waved and left in the beginning. It added to my purpose, got me out of the house, and I got to see the animals and then grew into talking with the crew later on. Or, working with adults with special needs (nonbehavioral mostly) was a great time in my life. I mention this because those people I worked with were the sweetest, most caring most amazing group of people, who even showed me a thing or two in the kitchen and about being humble. Its a different experience then working in a group of say helping at a soccer team. Just pick things that may start you out slow or that may avoid what makes you uncomfortable. I asked a few questions in the other post to you so I will await those answers before writing more. How you not die is to find purpose. Your purpose, your way to what you value as being worth it.
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