My friend thinks he's Jesus

Postby ced316 » Fri Jan 10, 2020 10:18 pm

To make a long story short a friend of mine has gone through some terribly tough times. His marriage fell apart and he was evicted right before christmas.
Within days of that he texts me that 'I need to search my feelings and I would know that he is the second coming of Christ".

He lives out of state at the moment so I tried to find where he was to make arrangements for at least a place to sleep that night, but he said he was ok doing what he was doing.

time progresses and hes invested himself into this frame of thinking - That not only is he Jesus, but he has authority over the church, politics and encourages drug use.
I have been avoiding talking with him because i honestly dont know what to do with a situation like that. If he is having a mental break down me telling him 'you are not Jesus' wouldnt work out..or should i challenge it? All I really want to do is bring my friend back to his senses
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#1

Postby tokeless » Fri Jan 10, 2020 11:06 pm

It sounds like he's having a psychotic episode and will need help. You won't be able to rationalise this out whilst he is unwell. I would encourage him to see his doctor.
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#2

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Jan 10, 2020 11:14 pm

ced316 wrote:To
If he is having a mental break down me telling him 'you are not Jesus' wouldnt work out..or should i challenge it? All I really want to do is bring my friend back to his senses


Let’s say instead of Jesus he believes he is a horse. Or maybe he believes that he is Princess Jasmine.

It is not your role in this person’s life to prove him wrong. It is not your job to convince or otherwise bring a friend “back to his senses”.

Now, this doesn’t mean you must accept this person as Jesus, a horse, or Princess Jasmine. You do not need to enable or tolerate that behavior. This means you simply ignore or redirect the conversation. You make it clear that you will not be treating them as if they are Jesus. You won’t be discussing religion or the Jesus topic.

Do this a few times, be direct, and eventually that friend will make a choice. They will continue to be your friend and respect that around you there shall be no Jesus talk, or they will decide to end the friendship.

Basically you establish your expectations, “no Jesus talk,” and this then places the burden on him to make a choice. This isn’t you talking sense into him. It is simply defining expectations.
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#3

Postby ced316 » Sat Jan 11, 2020 3:58 am

tokeless wrote:It sounds like he's having a psychotic episode and will need help. You won't be able to rationalise this out whilst he is unwell. I would encourage him to see his doctor.


I will talk to him about that when im in touch with him. He is completely in the frame of mind that he is actually Jesus Christ - he made a social media account demanding people renounce the church, calling the church 'the real antichrist'. he's called the interactions he has in life all apart of a video game that he is in control of. I think hes completely gone mentally, so i wont directly argue with him, i'll just encourage him to seek help
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#4

Postby ced316 » Sat Jan 11, 2020 4:01 am

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
ced316 wrote:To
If he is having a mental break down me telling him 'you are not Jesus' wouldnt work out..or should i challenge it? All I really want to do is bring my friend back to his senses


Let’s say instead of Jesus he believes he is a horse. Or maybe he believes that he is Princess Jasmine.

It is not your role in this person’s life to prove him wrong. It is not your job to convince or otherwise bring a friend “back to his senses”.

Now, this doesn’t mean you must accept this person as Jesus, a horse, or Princess Jasmine. You do not need to enable or tolerate that behavior. This means you simply ignore or redirect the conversation. You make it clear that you will not be treating them as if they are Jesus. You won’t be discussing religion or the Jesus topic.

Do this a few times, be direct, and eventually that friend will make a choice. They will continue to be your friend and respect that around you there shall be no Jesus talk, or they will decide to end the friendship.

Basically you establish your expectations, “no Jesus talk,” and this then places the burden on him to make a choice. This isn’t you talking sense into him. It is simply defining expectations.



I will set up boundaries for myself as you have suggested. what i will do is tell him that i would rather focus on getting him seen by a doctor - the issue is he is very aggressive with pushing his self proclaimed holiness on anyone that will listen. he's introducing himself 'As Jesus', which is alarming in and of it self. then hes off talking about how world war 3 is on the way and gets into politics that he himself (according to him) is in control of. I've never seen anything like this in my life
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#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Jan 11, 2020 4:40 am

Prior to his marriage ending how often would you two communicate? Daily, weekly, or less than once every few months? How often did you actually meet up?
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#6

Postby ced316 » Sat Jan 11, 2020 7:28 am

we were training partners at my gym so i physically seen him and interacted with him at least 4 times a week. when I wasnt with him we would touch bases on the phone or social media. we would car pool to events and talk on a more personal level- when he had problems with his parents while i was on vacation he called me in the middle of the night so i would suggest we were pretty good friends.

then

he caught his wife cheating, which was a matter of weeks ago and he abruptly moved out of state. since then we have been in contact on the phone while he transformed into Jesus
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#7

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Jan 11, 2020 2:21 pm

Okay, so really the post is about what level of time/resources you are willing to commit to this friendship.

It is unfortunate when a friend goes through a rough time. Of course we want to help. But, there are limits. Only you know what those limits might be. Do you loan a friend money, your car, your time? Do you donate a kidney?

It doesn’t sound like you are the friend to track this guy down, call therapists, organize an intervention, take off work, go to his location out of state, and try to get him into a facility for help. That isn’t your role in this relationship. That isn’t your level of commitment, right?

Given that isn’t you the question becomes, then what? You have to decide your role. It’s a choice you need to make.

If I’m in your shoes I am willing to listen and provide some advice, but I’m not talking Jesus with him. This goes to my original response. I’m not driving out of state, I’m not taking off work, I’m not arranging therapy. That’s not my level of commitment in this situation. I’m willing to listen to hm vent about his ex wife and discuss his parents, work, fitness, or whatever else. But, if he starts talking Jesus, I’m not going to discuss it with him.

Your level of commitment might be different than mine. It’s up to you.
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#8

Postby ced316 » Sun Jan 12, 2020 12:40 am

I see exactly what you mean . i face time him here and there but the best course of action is to restrict him from talking to me about him being God's son and World war 3. i'm not in a position to drive out to make anything happen so i can just protect myself from all that
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