Am I right feeling betrayed or am I overreacting

Postby Marty73 » Sun Jan 19, 2020 12:06 am

I had this conversation with a cousin of mine (we're really close, since we live together in a foreign country and I don't know anybody else but him, no family, no friends) and I got really upset.

It turns out I used to work at a shop where I was brutally bullied, so bad that I got sick and wound up at a mental health hospital. They'd make fun of me, they spread false rumors, they insulted me and so on. My cousin was there every time I needed help, he visited me at the hospital, etc. I even lived with him until I found a place to stay on my own. I feel like I've been a burden for him for a while, so now I feel he doesn't give a damn about me after all of that.

Now to the point: we were talking just yesterday and he told me he wants to do some shopping at the store where I was being bullied, so I felt utterly offended and I tlold him, he can forget about me if he does. That'd be a hard decision, since he is the only person I know in town for the time being, so that'd put me in a tight spot. He told methose were just my experiences and not his' and that I'm still resentful and should get over it.

Now, being so many stores in town, shouldn't I feel betrayed if he decides to go there? Where my enemies work? After becoming mentally ill because of bullying? Or am I just overreacting.

I'd be thankful if you could help me see the situation from a neutral standpoint. Like I said, it'd be tough being in no terms with the only guy I know in town, but I feel he's betraying me and doesn't care about me anymore after I've been a burden in his life.
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Jan 19, 2020 1:40 am

Marty73 wrote:Now, being so many stores in town, shouldn't I feel betrayed if he decides to go there?


He can go to whatever store he wants. And you can go to any store you want. He isn't forcing you to go to a specific store. You can politely decline. But, the idea that he can't go to the store or it's a betrayal? That's you being manipulative.

If I were him I would go to whatever store I wished and you could feel however you wish to feel. It's not my problem. It's your problem.
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#2

Postby tokeless » Sun Jan 19, 2020 7:29 am

You're overreacting I think. He isn't betraying you by shopping somewhere he hasn't had a problem with.
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