Quitting weed for the second time

Postby slick_willy » Thu Jan 30, 2020 1:58 am

Hey everybody. I used to post on this forum back in around 2016 - 2017, and had a good ~18 months of zero weed consumption. I was seeing pretty steady improvement and then ended up dating a girl who smoked, and being the imperfect creature I am, I ended up smoking along with her. That was about two years ago and I have been smoking since then. Just to give a quick timeline:

March 2016 - quit smoking weed, was in school at the time. Noticed lots of anxiety, dp/dr, also a HORRIBLE lack of self-awareness in social situations. I used to be pretty good at making jokes, and kind of feeling people out, but by the time I quit this was all gone. These symptoms seemed to be not from the quit itself but from the 10+ years I smoked weed.

August 2016 - after 5 months of horrible anxiety, mood swings, sudden anger, etc. I decided to give SSRI's a try. Went on a low-dose of a fairly benign SSRI (if you believe that exists) and noticed an IMMEDIATE improvement in my mood, socialization skills, anxiety, etc. Still wasn't 100% back to normal, but was maybe back to 80%.

~August 2017 - started dating a girl who smoked, and thought I would try it again (stupidly.) Did not notice any immediate symptoms return, but felt pretty dulled and just did not enjoy the experience of being high. For some reason though, I continued to do it on and off since then (mainly on the weekends, once or twice a month or something like that.)

Recently - I have a great job I love, and have been smoking nearly every weekend. For a long time (the last year maybe?) I would notice a weed hangover the day after smoking, where I would have crappy mood, low energy, irritability, difficulty socializing, etc. I would be okay after a day or two and would smoke on the following weekend. I think this was an avoidance behavior and I am dedicating myself to NOT SMOKING ANYMORE! There were so many nights I felt guilty about smoking, like I am not moving forward in my life, not living a meaningful life, and things like that.

My last smoke was around a week ago, and since then I have been feeling a similar type of social awkardness / PAWS to what I had back in 2016.

The thing I hate most is the lack of social ability. I was never like a social butterfly, but could get by and make some friends and get some attention from girls due to my quick wit and delivery and all that. The last few days, I feel like I am just unable to sense the emotion of the social interactions around me, almost like all my emotions are balled up together and I cannot access any of them. When someone makes a joke, even if I think it's funny, I only feel a dull sense of it being funny. I feel like all my emotions are blunted, and this scares the hell out of me. As far as anxiety goes, it is a LOT better this time around, and I am hoping the social ability comes back over time. In the state I am in it feels difficult to move forward although I am trying my best.

I am quitting coffee / heavy caffeine for the time being (still drinking tea), and also have taken up martial arts to get more exercise. I am about 30 lbs heavier than I was 5 years ago, so I have some work to do physically which should distract me from this painful journey. Also I am setting a goal to get at least 8 hours of good sleep per night. I also take supplements, glucosamine/chondroitin, L-theanine, ginko biloba, fish oil, and occasionally multivitamins. I hope to make a recovery soon, and the hour+ of time I spent last night researching whether or not our brains can heal after cannabis abuse was uplifting and promising. I think we can all heal in time, and I am still working on getting back to 100%. I never did get there even after my quit before, but this time I am going to go past 18+ months, and would be content to never touch cannabis again.

Thanks you guys, best of luck to you all in your journeys and I cannot wait until we are all at the finish line!
slick_willy
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#1

Postby slick_willy » Thu Jan 30, 2020 7:24 pm

Hey guys just wanted to follow up on this.

After I made the post I went to my ju jitsu class and had a great workout and immediately felt wayyy better. I feel good today too, better socially and no anxiety or anything like that. I thinking keeping away from cannabis and quitting coffee/energy drinks is helping me a lot. I'll follow up if anything changes.

Beat of luck to you all
slick_willy
Full Member
 
Posts: 178
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2016 8:56 pm
Likes Received: 57



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