Why do I have a strong need for hugs?

Postby MklesDfctgg » Sat Mar 21, 2020 2:23 pm

First of all i wanna say sorry my bad english.

Every time im with a guy i have a strong need for him to hug me(not the other way around) and its not about a quick hug rather then hug that last for hours. The reason is not that i have feelings for the person that hugs me(i know that for sure cuz that need happens even with someone i dont know that im hooking up with) So in your opinion whats wrong with me?
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Postby Candid » Sat Mar 21, 2020 7:56 pm

Nothing at all, Mkles. There's something wrong with people who don't want hugs.

Even if the whole of the rest of the world seems different from you, you have to be right for yourself.
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Mar 22, 2020 1:59 am

MklesDfctgg wrote:... its not about a quick hug rather then hug that last for hours.


Three things:

-1- How is it negatively impacting your life? If you expect or want hugs that last for hours then possibly you are using hugs as a distraction or a way to avoid life. A hug allows you to temporarily escape. If this is causing problems, e.g. not going to work, not getting homework done, or you are avoiding other issues then that might be a negative you must address.

-2- Expecting hugs for hours will make it difficult to find a partner. Hugging means that your partner must attend to you, while you find comfort and avoid whatever is going on in life. If they are not trying to avoid life, hugging for hours will get old very fast.

-3- Cuddling is a different story. If your English means that the hug is actually the common concept of laying on the couch together for hours, then this is very normal. Plenty of couples waste a nice Sunday afternoon just laying in bed together. This is also a temporary escape, but reciprocal.

Your question about what is wrong really depends on how you see it negatively impacting your life. What is your strong need for hugs doing to hurt you? Why do you think it is a problem?
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