2 year and 7 months

Postby helenadoc » Wed Apr 29, 2020 12:02 am

Hello everyone. How are u doing? I hope you are good and on the path to healing.

So, 2 years and 7 months free. I just wanted to stop by and give you an update. I know how important it is for other people on the path to recovery to read pozitive stories, so that's why i'm still here. It helped me a lot to know others have recovered when i thought i was broken forever.

Soooo, things are perfect. I'm anxiety and depression free. I still have my ups and downs, but are normal, not paws like. I don't crave, i don't think about it. Life is good and beautiful.
After all that nightmare, i sometimes thank God and myself that i made the right choice and quit something that was bad for me.

I finished school. I'm a doctor now: emergency medicine. I'm so proud of myself that i made it here. My brain is working, i can think, i remember loads of things, no fog, no delay. I feel like i'm growing, evolving. It's awsome. Aaand i'm the best 1st year resident from my class. I know, i'm braging, but i want you to know that it can be possible to achieve your dreams, even if you think you can't right now.
You have to understand that i was afraid i couldn't study. My brain was so slow and full of irrational thought that filled up half of my attention span. I cried all over my books because of the crippling anxiety, i couldn't help myself, i was not in control of my emotions. But i stuck with it and i got through it and now i am here. It's a great accomplishment for me.

If i can do it, you can to. It's a no brainer. It's hard and messy, and you feel like it's never gonna stop. All the crying, depression, anxiety, helplesness, the suffocating feeling you have, it will go away. Just stay clean and breathe.

And most important, believe in yourself. I know it's hard, but when you have those few good days, just believe in yourself and find that inner strenght that will help you go through the worst days of paws.

Good thoughts to all of you,
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Postby 8hy7ijt » Wed Apr 29, 2020 4:44 am

This is supremely helpful. It almost been about 4 months for me and lots has been improving. However I still get really low feelings of nothing in the evening. I have gotten back full feeling for 2 days in a row. The longest in a while. This gives me hope. Thank you so much
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Postby klim » Thu Apr 30, 2020 4:57 am

Hello! Tell me what happened to you, how you felt. At the marks of half a year, 1 year, 1.5 years, 2 years. How did your anxiety and your depression go away and what did you do. Thank you
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Postby Cthompson21 » Fri May 01, 2020 2:22 am

@Klim if you click on helenadoc username it will let you see her old posts and see the story she posted at various points you've mentioned.

@Helenadoc thank you for the update, I am inspired by your battle and what you've overcome. I am getting better and better and thank you again for support you've given in the past and now.
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Postby PAWSsurvivor » Tue Jun 02, 2020 4:00 am

I read this tonight, in the middle of a bad PAWS week. I'm in Month 9. When you say you can "feel emotions again", it makes my heart cry out in hope. I will be where you are one day. I'm going to get back to having faith in the process despite my recent despair. I'll never use Cannabis again. It was a terrible experiment for me. I think what scares me most right now is that my girlfriend will be moving in a few months, and she has been my rock through all this. Maybe at the 1 year point I'll feel alot stronger, and I'll be less shaky from the uncertainties of life.

Thanks for writing this for giving me hope during a hard week. Blessings of the universe on you.
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Postby SparkleFly12 » Wed Jun 03, 2020 7:07 am

Great to hear!
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Postby mikeabbot » Thu Jun 11, 2020 12:08 pm

Awesome that you're still sharing your progress Helenadoc!
I think we started using this forum around the same time. So great that you're doing well!
It's been 2 years and 9 months for me and life is much better now.
What I can suggest for anyone besides the usual is try digital detoxing too. I'm completely off my smart devices during the weekends and I started enjoying the small things even more and more.
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Postby PAWSsurvivor » Thu Jun 11, 2020 11:03 pm

I hear you Mike.

It's amazing how stimulated we are.

I've worn blue light blockers alot over the months. They have helped. Hoping this summer when I'm on holidays to digital detox as well.
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Postby Gerre » Fri Jun 12, 2020 12:00 pm


How long were you clean before you felt confident to work in medicine? I am in a similar position, afraid to start a real residency because my mind simply feels too clouded from the PAWS
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