seeking guidance

Postby spod24 » Thu Jun 11, 2020 9:01 am

24male

First off, i want to thank you all for supporting this forum. This is where i turn to when i'm feeling lost and you guys give me hope and strength to become a better version of myself.

i have a six year long history of poly-substance abuse (lsd, mdma, heroin, cocaine) which ended cold turkey almost 2 years ago. I dont think i would have been able to stop my self destructive ways without the weed, and for that i am eternally grateful. Today is 90+ days since i smoked my last bowl of weed. I did not find the acute withdrawal that big of a deal. Trouble sleeping, a bit amount of anxiety, paranoia, no appetite, tinnitus, fatigue. which all is 80% gone. The paws still come and goes, but is much more subtle than wd from harder drugs, which are HELL.

Almost all my friends are still on the self destructive path and i have cut off almost everyone i know and are alone in this fight. The remaining friends and family i have in my life are great people, but they do not understand how i feel. I am so lonely even though i am around people all day. I have had multiple therapists but no one seems to know how to help me with my past and my sorrows of the friends lost to overdoses, suicides and the void of drug addiction

The problem i am facing and why i am writing to you guys is that i am lost like never before. I can't find what path i should be taking, being job or university. Everything just seem so meaningless. I work at house construction which i have been doing for 6 months or so. I was hoping that my drive for knowledge would return so i can continue my studies in university but my brain just isn't there yet.

How did you guys regain the motivation to improve your career and wanting to make new friends and social networks? At this point i feel like i am from another world and no one can relate. miss placed and miss judged...

I hope someone can relate and give me guidance

I am sorry for the long post :oops:
spod24
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#1

Postby tokeless » Thu Jun 11, 2020 7:01 pm

Hi, you can't really gain motivation. You can make gains in your motivation level by setting and achieving simple goals initially and as you attain them you gain from it. Confidence is also important because if you don't believe things are attainable you'll give up or not commit fully. Also, remember to make your goals realistic too. In my experience the addict (I hate that term but hey) is about instant gratification if you think back. The idea if waiting for a score was not doable, hence more than one source to get it. So, accept things will take time and that's a frustration you have to factor in. When people crave it's usually mental unless it's opiates etc, but it's triggered by an emotion in most cases... I need it, I can't manage without it etc.
What do you think blunts your aims and goals? What needs to change?
Stick with us here and we can support you through it.
Best wishes
tokeless
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