A conclusion of my PAWS journey

Postby Cthompson21 » Sun Jun 14, 2020 10:02 pm

I'm writing this because it is almost two years since I had a bad trip and developed weed PAWS, and now my life is changing, I am moving to a new city, new job, moving on, something I thought wouldn't have been possible if you asked me about 2 years ago. I thought my world was ending because I had already had PAWS from another substance and had overcome the bad trip brought ALL symptoms back and more. I thought now here I go again. I hoped it would go away but really it never did. Just like last time, it has faded and still bothers me, but it has faded.

The first 6 months were hell. Nuff said.

Then after about a year I began to get my feet on the ground, with ups and downs, I persevered through it all. Had a stint in the hospital for depression and suicide and that was my lowest point. I climbed out of that with the help of a therapist. I dont know how but I managed to keep working during all this time. I prayed a lot and sometimes just went through things with my fingers crossed, while suffering exhaustion and debilitating anxiety.

My cuplrit symptoms are insomnia, vivid dreams, and anxiety attacks. They all bother me the most. I've had other various symptoms like stomach problems and vision problems and DP/DR (horrifying) but they have come and gone. But all in all I have learned to ADAPT. that is what I have done. It has been my motto. I will adapt.

Now I am moving to a new city and looking for new jobs in my field, something I never thought I would do. I am gay and live in a rural, isolated area and it is time for me to go somewhere that fits my life and where I can grow professionally. Part of me thinks it is better to stay but I am going to do it anyway and see what will happen. Truth is I will never get rid of PAWS, I can only hope to have more good days and enjoy them. My case is unique and but I have struggled like a lot of people on here. It has been a wild ride.

So, to conclude I will be letting go of uncommonforum for the time being and moving on with my life, as a form of closure. I have accepted my limitations and am working with them. Thanks to all on here who have helped me - you know who you are! I wish everyone the best with whatever you are going through, and send you the strength to get through it.
Cthompson21
Full Member
 
Posts: 203
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:13 pm
Likes Received: 59


#1

Postby PAWSsurvivor » Sun Jun 14, 2020 10:57 pm

Thanks for writing this.

Came on a day for me where I feel depressed about the whole situation. But you are STRONG to go through it all.

I think moving to a new city might even help you feel better. Our brains become strongly associated with our surroundings. It might flush out the negative associations from your ordeal.

I understand the desire to move on, I think that's probably a sign of how far you've come.

Will be thinking of you. I hope you have a great new chapter.
PAWSsurvivor
Junior Member
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2020 9:05 pm
Likes Received: 16

#2

Postby Cthompson21 » Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:03 am

PAWSsurvivor glad I could help, you are so strong too! Yes every day I am reminded of things in the past I dont want to think about, hopefully I can move and start to dwell on them less. It's been a lonnnnngggg journey and I cant wait for the next chapter, whatever it may bring. I am ready. Good luck to you on your journey as well, I will think of you too and all the people I've talked to on here. :)
Cthompson21
Full Member
 
Posts: 203
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2018 12:13 pm
Likes Received: 59

#3

Postby leavepawsbehind » Tue Jun 16, 2020 11:18 pm

Cheers. You'll continue to improve as time goes on. I'm at 2 years 5 months, I'm not "out" but the symptoms continue to improve slowly.
leavepawsbehind
Full Member
 
Posts: 112
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:46 pm
Likes Received: 32

#4

Postby PAWSsurvivor » Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:37 pm

Hey CJ, you maybe gone, but when I need a boost, I go read the Benzo Buddies success stories forum. There are people on there with all sorts of recovery stories. There's one guy on there who had all his withdrawl symptoms for 15 months, and then one day like a light switch, they were gone.

Another guy was bedridden for 3 years, and now says he's feeling 90% back to normal.

Lots of cool stories like that.

Just keep going and it'll keep getting better.

Best wishes.
PAWSsurvivor
Junior Member
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2020 9:05 pm
Likes Received: 16



  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Addictions