Weed PAWS success stories??

Postby aHairOnStanleysHead » Mon Jun 29, 2020 6:53 pm

Here's the original story if you care to read--

LONG POST, sorry but please bare with me Hey guys and gals, im not sure what's going on. I've never experienced OCD symptoms or anxiety to a noticable level in my life. At the age of 19 I started smoking HEAVILY. It started with a bowl a day, to several bong loads a day, to several "dabs" each day, back to smoking grass almost all day when I would be laid off during winter months. I'm talking smoking through an ounce or more each week of very strong flower. I loved it, it was my security blanket and I definitely fell for the romanticism that comes with it. I loved the look, smell, taste and even the thought of smoking. Fast forward to age 23 and I was still going strong, but with a baby on the way decided I wanted to stop. Never stopped until baby actually came, and I stopped abruptly. I stopped abruptly because all of a sudden the anxiety of what I'm sure was from having my first baby and starting my job as a supervisor for some reason had got to me while smoking. I went through about 6 severe panic attacks on different occasions that I thought were from something else, until I realized they only happened when I was high. It scared me enough to stop cold turkey. It's been 3 full months now of SEVERE anxiety caused by intrusive thoughts. These thoughts scared the living sh** out of me. Thoughts of terrible things happening to my loved ones, thoughts of what if I lose control and hurt someone (which id NEVER do, which is why they terrified me), thoughts of "what if this is schizophrenia?!"...my life hasn't been the same. Like I said, I've never lived with anxiety. Now every day starts with racing thoughts and heaviness in my head AS SOON as I wake up, feelings of impending doom, constant intrusive thoughts that feed the anxiety on insane levels, confusion, lack of concentration, and feeling so much shame and guilt because of these symptoms. The first 3 weeks after quitting were accompanied by dry heaving in the mornings, insomnia, depression, and being "on edge". But 3 months now and my life hasn't been the same. It's breaking my heart because I feel like life is passing me by now that I have a beautiful baby. I worry about schizophrenia because of the heavy use, but at the same time I have no family history and wouldn't the years of very heavy use triggered it already? HAS ANYONE EXPERIENCED ANYTHING LIKE THIS??



(Me currently June 29, 2020) hey all I'm on my 2nd month of quitting weed and things seem to be getting better slowly (though I know I could very well be in a window of relief, approaching a wave of difficult symptoms again). I've read alot of stories on forums about people seeing relief after 6 months, 9 months, a year or maybe even longer. If that's how long it takes, then so be it, as long as there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm curious if anyone on here has been pretty much fully returned to their previous self? Or are you still dealing with symptoms after even years? My biggest fear is of being "scarred" by the memories of the horrible intrusive thoughts ive had since this started, and the memories of feeling as if I was TRULY losing my mind. Those were the darkest days of my life. Just looking for some success stories! Thanks
aHairOnStanleysHead
New Member
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2020 2:13 am
Likes Received: 0


#1

Postby gringo101 » Sat Jul 04, 2020 7:26 am

Been through everything you mentionned.
It was tough as hell, still is not gonna lie.
Hit the 6 month mark today. Anxiety, paranoia, confusion, panic attack and all that non sense will fade away trust me. Just give it time, surround yourself with people you love and learn how to take care of yourself better. Try replacing that habit with something else it will help in the long run.
Life is full of lessons, i hope you learned this tough one like we all did. Keep pushing.
gringo101
New Member
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2020 11:58 pm
Likes Received: 0

#2

Postby aHairOnStanleysHead » Sat Jul 04, 2020 12:24 pm

Thank you, that brings some relief. This week has been alot better since I started exercising regularly and quit my nicotine habit. I'm just sick of always having that stupid "dark cloud" feeling in the back of my mind. Somewhere along the lines I've read or seen too many stories about people that have lost control and done horrible things, and now my scared mind just throws these "what if's" at me. I think it's because I'm experiencing the confusion, memory issues, dizziness, etc and my worst fear is that it's something worse than just a withdrawal. But my logical self knows I'm a very kind and loving person and have so much to live for, and the fact that intrusive thoughts scare me and give me so much anxiety should prove that that's the opposite of who I am right? The anxiety is the hardest part for me aside from the nightmares. The nightmares are never about ME doing horrible things, but rather horrible things happening to me and my family. Always people coming after us (particularly with knives for some reason), zombie attacks, or some big problem that I can't fix within my dreams. I have hopes that this is getting better since I feel so much better this week, but I understand that I could just be in a window where the symptoms aren't as bad. I wish the best of luck to you
aHairOnStanleysHead
New Member
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2020 2:13 am
Likes Received: 0

#3

Postby aHairOnStanleysHead » Sat Jul 04, 2020 2:01 pm

Also, the one thing I really can't stand is this stupid immense fear of schizophrenia that I have. Idk why but as soon as this started happening and I saw one article that said marijuana use can lead to schizophrenia if you're predisposed to it, I've been just fixating on that. Even though I've got no family history whatsoever that I'm aware of, and I'm fully aware of what's going on with me. It's like the fear and the more I read into schizophrenia, the more I anticipate the symptoms to start. Like every now and then I will see something small in my peripheral, not like people or anything like that just sometimes like shadows or something idk how to explain it. But it only happens when I'm really stressed and fixating on schizophrenia. I've read in other forums that in the recovery phase after quitting weed they've had the same problem so who knows. I haven't heard anything and don't have any delusional beliefs,.but like I said my mind keeps saying "what if". "What if" this is the prodromal phase of it and the full onset hasn't started yet? So annoying. Some days I don't worry at all, I feel like I'm too hard on myself. I'll space out or forget something and then boom I'm pulled into worrying about mental illness.
aHairOnStanleysHead
New Member
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2020 2:13 am
Likes Received: 0

#4

Postby gringo101 » Sat Jul 04, 2020 4:04 pm

trust me when i tell you i was on the same boat. I used to think that i developed the same sh**. schizophrenics believe in crazy delusions that don’t make sense at all.
Look at some case studies it will ease your mind.
take it one day at a time.
Patience and busy yourself brother
gringo101
New Member
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed Apr 22, 2020 11:58 pm
Likes Received: 0



  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Addictions