Help

Postby Hankjohnson321 » Sun Jul 26, 2020 9:17 pm

I am emotionally detached I have been distancing myself further away from others more and more for almost a decade at this point I'm considering cutting all ties with people who think they're my friends and family but I feel nothing for and that concerns me. I dont date and remain celibate because I'm afraid that I cant give someone what they deserve or my idealistic view of what they would deserve in a relationship. I have very low self-esteem because I hold myself to the highest standards imaginable.i feel that I have a good handle on what is going on with me, but I either dont know how or dont have the will to do anything about it any suggestions are appreciated.
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#1

Postby Candid » Mon Jul 27, 2020 7:43 am

You say you're inclined to end relationships with friends and family. What's stopping you?

I'm not clear on the problem here, what it is you "dont have the will to do anything about". More information, please!
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#2

Postby davidbanner99@ » Thu Aug 27, 2020 7:55 pm

Hankjohnson321 wrote:I am emotionally detached I have been distancing myself further away from others more and more for almost a decade at this point I'm considering cutting all ties with people who think they're my friends and family but I feel nothing for and that concerns me. I dont date and remain celibate because I'm afraid that I cant give someone what they deserve or my idealistic view of what they would deserve in a relationship. I have very low self-esteem because I hold myself to the highest standards imaginable.i feel that I have a good handle on what is going on with me, but I either dont know how or dont have the will to do anything about it any suggestions are appreciated.

Sounds like the "cut-off" is emotional. That is, possibly you're not connecting with people at the emotional level and that creates isolation. I came to see emotional communication is huge in importance (unfortunately). How is your emotional reaction? Do you smile when others make jokes and do you feel tuned into their mentality? Or do you feel sort of alienated and not knowing how to engage? Personally, I do not. Emotional intelligence is very low in my case but it took me years to figure out exactly what takes place during social interaction. Such as eye expression, facial expression and how easily people can smile.
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#3

Postby davidbanner99@ » Thu Aug 27, 2020 8:07 pm

I don't date either but gradually found I'm able to communicate better with females. I lost all that pressure of having to play a role or follow the prescribed pattern. The reason so many people can get very depressed is because there's that pressure to be successful along certain social lines. In my view it's OK to have flaws and not be perfect but self acceptance is a big step forwards.
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