How to form stronger friendships with Australians?

Postby Isaacdevil » Sun Aug 16, 2020 6:21 am

I lived in this country my whole life, but I hate it here so much because of our culture; government, and the weather.. I wish I could leave, but I'm too dependent on my parents despite being 21 years old. Although I could leave in possibly a year at least if a gun business opportunity arises in the US with an American friend of mine (I want to invent firearms) but its still horrible having no friends in real life for a couple of years and suffering constantly.. I get that I'm not in a third world country, but the pain of not belonging somewhere is terrible. It doesn't help that I'm mildly autistic and rather anxious either along with being very oppositional to any bossy or rude people. However, I'll explain my many cultural differences which make it SUPER hard to strongly connect with almost anybody in real life here.

So I have very individualist beliefs; a passion for guns, a big distrust of government, that I don't follow the law (it doesn't care about freedom), I'm not a macho man nor an SJW, I hate hot weather (I'm very heat sensitive and kind of cold sensitive unfortunately), I don't like much exercise, in conjunction with disliking the idea of having a "right" to safety with Coronavirus going on even. With the "right to safety" thing, I don't like being prohibited from anything victimless for any reason since its a big pet-peeve of mine. Sorry, but people don't care about my wellbeing at all so I don't like them.

However; with all the cultural differences I mentioned, they're all pretty controversial in this country so I can't really be friends with almost anyone in Australia when we really have one "superculture" which dominates cultures immigration brung into Australia. Also, Australia is NOT the "lucky country" if any Australians here think I should love this place. I shouldn't, it really sucks for me.
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#1

Postby Tyto » Sun Aug 16, 2020 11:18 am

I live in New Zealand, but have lived in australia for an odd year or so, enough to get somewhat of a grip on the culture. Haere Mai, my friend.

Isaacdevil wrote:I wish I could leave, but I'm too dependent on my parents despite being 21 years old.


How do you plan to not be so dependent on your parents? Are you able to get a job? Where would you like to go, if you do leave.

I get that I'm not in a third world country, but the pain of not belonging somewhere is terrible.


Being in a third world country doesn't entitle you to sadness, there are plenty of people in underdeveloped countries that are perfectly happy, in the same way that there are people in quite well developed countries that are, as you say;
suffering constantly..


along with being very oppositional to any bossy or rude people.


Oppositional is a very broad term. Do you actively object against any authority in your life, or do you silently stew over it? This may be one of the sources of your problems.

many cultural differences which make it SUPER hard to strongly connect with almost anybody in real life here.


You'd be surprised how easy it can be to find people with similar ideologies to yourself. If you're actively looking for people like yourself, you're bound to find them. Focusing on who opposes you leaves no time to find people who agree with you.

that I don't follow the law (it doesn't care about freedom)


Elaborate a bit more on this, please

Sorry, but people don't care about my wellbeing at all so I don't like them.


Is this the cultural difference you've been talking about? It seems pretty similar to america to me.
Are you talking about the idea of collectivism in Australia? Or the far more lax approach to politics some australian governance can provide. If anything, I'd say Australia is more individualist than most developed civilizations. Live in London for a few years and I'd be willing to wager how much you'd like to be back where you live now. Not to discredit your opinion, the weather is quite seldom for what you're describing in england.

However; with all the cultural differences I mentioned


Which cultural differences?

I can't really be friends with almost anyone in Australia when we really have one "superculture" which dominates cultures immigration brung into Australia.
[/quote]

Anyone who disregards a person for their political beliefs alone (as in, to the point where you're describing) is either someone best not kept friends with, or repulsed by something other than your political beliefs. I don't know who you are, what you look like, etc, so only you can be the judge of which.
Similarly, if you let your political beliefs dictate who you can, and cannot be friends with, then I'm not sure if you'll end up on the happiest person on the planet. Who knows, people that dislike peppermint tea are crossed off the list in my opinion.

Australia is NOT the "lucky country" if any Australians here think I should love this place. I shouldn't, it really sucks for me.


Why should they think you love it in aussie? You clearly hate it, and you have your reasons to hate it.

Here's what I'm interested in:

1: Your title is captioned "How to form stronger friendships with Australians.". Yet your post alludes only to the problems you've had in finding connections politically. Do you really want friendships with people where you live? Or are you looking for like-minded individualists like yourself?

2: Forgive me if I'm wrong, but your post looks to me like you're on the defense, is there any expectation in posting here that you're thinking will come for you? Could these expectations bleed over into real life, and have you given any thought as to whether those expectations may be afflicting your abilities to make friends?

3: Do you like peppermint tea?
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#2

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Aug 16, 2020 5:57 pm

Isaacdevil wrote: I wish I could leave, but I'm too dependent on my parents despite being 21 years old.


So focus on this. You are wasting your time ranting about all the things outside of your control.
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#3

Postby Isaacdevil » Mon Aug 17, 2020 5:28 am

Yeah no, I'm not "wasting" my time. Its not as simple as you like to think with how you respond to people with overly practical ideas without taking into account of their trauma nor anything.
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#4

Postby Tyto » Mon Aug 17, 2020 10:50 am

Oh darn, I forgot my "do not feed" sign.
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#5

Postby Candid » Mon Aug 17, 2020 11:19 am

There are cultural differences between Americans, Australians and English people. Having gone back and forth between Australia and England several times, I can tell you there's always a period of adjustment before I stop shocking one and irritating the other. I've passed through America a few times and met nothing but friendly helpfulness there, but have to admit my feeling about Americans is mostly based on popular culture.

What's surprising to me is that you say I lived in this country my whole life yet you write about all the cultural differences, presumably between Australia (where you are) and America (where you believe you'd like to be). This makes me wonder whether TV was your 'babysitter', as it is for a lot of children. It's possibly have an overly optimistic view of how well you'd fit in if you lived there.

I have friends in Australia, and all of them became friends through either common interest or exposure over time. The first is self-explanatory, the second includes co-workers and neighbours, and obviously the two groups overlap.

I have to ask why you believe you'd be eligible for US citizenship. A "passion for guns" and "I don't follow the law" makes you sound a bit scary.

Tell me, Isaacdevil, why are you bothered about making Australian friends when your sights are set on America? How well do you know your American friend? Is this an online friendship or have you been face-to-face? What steps have you taken towards moving there?

Tyto wrote:You'd be surprised how easy it can be to find people with similar ideologies to yourself. If you're actively looking for people like yourself, you're bound to find them. Focusing on who opposes you leaves no time to find people who agree with you.


I wholeheartedly agree. Looking for what's right about any aspect of your life is a helluva much happier space than looking for what's wrong, as any thread by desperate788 will show only too clearly.

Tyto wrote:Live in London for a few years and I'd be willing to wager how much you'd like to be back where you live now.


Haha, you got me there, Tyto. Now looking at spending my old age not too far west of London, I ponder the grey sky I see from my window in the height of our summer and sigh for an accessible beach that isn't so packed on the occasional scorcher that there's no room for one more towel. And that's after a couple of hours crawling along among cars all headed the same way, plus trying to find somewhere to leave the car.

Australia has a lot going for it, Isaac. It would be helpful to know whereabouts you are, because it's far from uniform.
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#6

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Aug 17, 2020 1:08 pm

Isaacdevil wrote:... overly practical ideas without taking into account of their trauma nor anything.


Now you are a survivor of trauma?

Yes, my advice is practical. “Overly” practical sounds like an excuse.

I’ve been on this forum a few years so I have heard this story more than once. You are not the first adult living with mom and dad that is helpless to do anything to change their future. No matter what advice is given they find a reason it will not work. And they think that participating in a forum is them “working hard” to solve the “problems” they face.

If you want things to improve then take my “overly practical” advice that doesn’t take your trauma into account. Focus on providing something of value for others, i.e. focus on making money.

Regardless of your trauma, regardless of your sensitivities, freedom ONLY comes when you earn that freedom.
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#7

Postby Tyto » Mon Aug 17, 2020 1:57 pm

Candid wrote: I ponder the grey sky I see from my window in the height of our summer and sigh for an accessible beach that isn't so packed on the occasional scorcher that there's no room for one more towel. And that's after a couple of hours crawling along among cars all headed the same way, plus trying to find somewhere to leave the car.


I almost felt like I was back in Swindon again. This time with less traffic lights :P
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#8

Postby Candid » Tue Aug 18, 2020 7:58 am

Reading's quite a lot bigger than Swindon and I'm sure we have a lot MORE traffic lights, so :P neener neener.
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#9

Postby Tyto » Tue Aug 18, 2020 12:40 pm

Ahh. I've never been to Reading. I'd imagine you get this a lot, but we have Reading cinemas here in NZ. That's about the one cultural taste I've had from there lol!
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