I had enough with my self esteem. Please help

Postby onetouch198181 » Fri Sep 04, 2020 3:35 pm

Hello everyone. I believe I have a weird situation about my self esteem.

The problem is that I know I am very very attractive guy but yet my self esteem is most of the times quite low. What do I mean about that. All my life my relationships and personal encounters with woman were by them approaching me, them asking me out, them complimenting me. But now in my mid 30's I realized that I can't talk to woman.

I find myself seeing a woman I like and just freeze. I just look at them. It is quite different however if a girl looks and smiles and it's obvious that her eyes are locked at me. Then I let go and just flirt back and I am quite good at it.

I just can't handle the fact that when there are no obvious clues by the woman I am interested in I am filled with anxiety and freeze like a pathetic person.

I'll give you an example of an incident that happened last month. From the beginning of the month I went to a job interview. The girl that was interviewing me which she was younger then me and quite pretty said "Oh I see in your form that you are single. Single and quite handsome I see".
Few days later I was at my local supermarket and the girl that worked there blinked and smiled and she was 18-19 and also gorgeous.

Few days after I came across to a woman by age and she couldn't get her eyes off of me. BUT a few days later I saw a woman I liked, she gave me no clues if she was interested. I decided to talk to her and I JUST FROZE. Just looked at her and thought of ALL the reasons not to talk to her. Cheap excuses actually like, I can't right now, i spend too much money already. Or that I might have nothing to say. You know just cheap excuses my mind was using to avoid the anxiety.

No matter how much I pushed my self reminding myself how attractive I am, the previous encounters that they are is nothing wrong with me, quite the opposite, I just froze.

Please help. I try to push myself to pass the anxiety but it just doesn't work.
Thank you
onetouch198181
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#1

Postby Candid » Sat Sep 05, 2020 7:41 am

Choose from the women (or 'girls') who so obviously flirt with you. Women have ways of letting a man know they're interested.

Or tell me what went on between you and your mother, that you still want the one who doesn't want you.
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#2

Postby onetouch198181 » Sat Sep 05, 2020 9:00 am

Hello and thank you for your time.

Well me and mom had a normal relationship of a mother and child. Nothing really special as to influence me in choosing between those that want me and those that don't, as it is not my main issue.

The main is issue is why do I freeze, why I am being filled with doubts and anxiety since there is no reason why I should.
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#3

Postby Candid » Sun Sep 06, 2020 8:13 am

Because you apparently persist in approaching the ones you expect to reject you.

The girl that was interviewing me [...] said "Oh I see in your form that you are single. Single and quite handsome I see".

You didn't want that one
Few days later I was at my local supermarket and the girl that worked there blinked and smiled

and you didn't want that one
Few days after I came across to a woman by age and she couldn't get her eyes off of me

nor that one
BUT a few days later I saw a woman I liked, she gave me no clues if she was interested. I decided to talk to her and I JUST FROZE.

Bingo!

If a woman indicates she likes you, you're flattered but not interested. If she's indifferent, you decide to make a play but you freeze. So maybe for whatever reason you're not interested in relationship right now.
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