I have anxiety attacks over my girlfriend's period

#15

Postby Candid » Wed Sep 16, 2020 9:42 am

Yes indeed. It would have been disastrous for me to have got pregnant at any stage as I always knew motherhood was not for me and I would have had an ethical struggle about abortion. If the Pill was effective then I'm sure it's as good or better now.

I was probably more at risk from STDs such as HIV than pregnancy as I couldn't abide condoms. Some ways I'm lucky!
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#16

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Sep 16, 2020 1:24 pm

Candid wrote: Some ways I'm lucky!


Weren't we all, lol. I definitely had my share of postcoital angst for various reasons.

"Anticipated regret" develops between the ages of 9-11. I find this fascinating. Pregnancy is used as an example in the research and regret is supposed to help people make better decisions. It is an "adaptive" emotion. Yet apparently it doesn't work very well when it comes to sex.

Boys turning into men, physiologically speaking, receive a huge boost in testosterone during puberty. So at roughly the same time the cognitive ability to anticipate regret occurs, they receive a huge boost in testosterone which has been correlated with an increase in risk-taking behaviors.
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#17

Postby Candid » Wed Sep 16, 2020 4:53 pm

As you pointed out earlier, a lad's regret at having accidentally fathered a child pales in comparison to his gitrlfriend's. I do feel for males whose partners deceive them as to what's safe and what isn't, if indeed that happens.
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#18

Postby bawdyheated » Tue Sep 22, 2020 3:17 am

Dleet3D wrote:Hi everyone. I need some help. A couple months ago my girlfriend started to feel morning sickness, headaches and extra sensitivity on her breasts on the middle of her cycle. That same month her period was late for 1 or 2 days. Naturally, when her period didn't come, we panicked.

I'm 26 y/o, she's 22, she takes the pill and we used to use condoms all the time. However before that incident we use to have a little playtime before putting the condom.

During those two days I completely lost my mind, anxiety ruled over me. I was shaking and vomitting. We did a pregnancy test, which came out negative, and eventually she had her period.

Still, that episode has been haunting me ever since. Everytime that time of the month comes I panic and have anxiety attacks. We always use a condom since the first minute things get intimate, after that. However, she recently changed her pill and skipped 1 month during summer (by not taking the placebo pills) in order to be able to go on vacations more comfortably. Those two things are now giving me anxiety, since her period is, again, somewhat late.

Rationally, since we use pill + condoms, it would somewhat unlikely that she's pregnant. But I can't shake the "What if" loop from my head. It's running my sleep and I worry that it might ruin a relationship with a girl that I truly love. I've talked to her and she's fully aware of my concerns.

Is there something I can do to ease my mind, or this is it?


Accpetance about her condition is the most the important. :)
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