Negative thoughts - Personality

Postby happy14 » Tue Oct 27, 2020 5:54 pm

HI Everyone,

I used to be quite a shy person, very quiet just got on with things and not disturb anyone. YOu could say that may be I felt a bit socially awkward in certain situations but then one day i discovered a new side to myself, i used to read plenty of self help books, then one day i came across one that said I should learn to quieten the inner critic and learn to listen to the people around you and soak in your environment, this worked a gem for me and my life was completely transformed in fact i went from being a socially awkward person to someone incredibly confident, it surprised me more than anyone but i would gladly take it, people change over time and so had i for the better.

Suddenly I was a social butterfly in fact i actually became very outoing, apart from just listening i was chatting a hell of a lot more and it was just what I was wanting to do, to come out of my shell, now i aint to bothered about being the centre of attention, so long as i contribute to a group or contribute to someones friendship then im quite happy however i found that I was actually the centre of attention at times and that too without even trying.

Now and then i go back into being this socially awkward and quiet person when i receive negative thoughts in my head but i manage to overcome them by using some CBT techniques i used over the years and each time i come through the negativity and am back to being this social person which i love.

However recently i read someones random social media post about the new director in our organisation whom gave a speech the other day, he seems like a very nice and humble person but someone wrote a message saying that they hope to see more of their "personality" into the job role when he has more time to settle into his new position. Now this random comment was made towards someone else however this triggered a negative thought in my head, as i guess it reminded me of my "old" self, i used to be quiet and withdrawn and not show my personality that much. Now I am using the CBT techniques when i have a negative thought in my head to overcome it but its been 2 weeks since these negative thoughts and I am struggling to get back to the good ol "social" self again, I have become very withdrawn and quiet all of a sudden, even my work colleague said you are very quiet today, everything ok? and a friend also said something similar outside of work saying whats up with you today? not chatting much and its true im not doing so.

I dont know what to do now and feel a bit "stuck", what advice would you have for me, I have had plenty of negative thoughts like other people but I have overcome them with great aplomb but now I am struggling with my inner self and this comment about someone else's personality has seriously had a bad impact on me, if i had not read this social media post i would be ok today and no such issue. I am now seriously struggling with basic interaction as i feel really bad, and cant shake off this negativity.

Pls pls pls people out there with any advice for me to get back on track.
happy14
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#1

Postby Psicology » Wed Oct 28, 2020 11:28 am

If you have managed to control yourself so far and be more open and more outgoing, I am sure you will be able to control yourself in this situation as well.
Don't allow words directed to another person to strike you.
You are a new and different person!
Psicology
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#2

Postby bawdyheated » Thu Nov 05, 2020 4:55 am

I ma glad that atleast you have tried to recover, keep it going and be more positive in life!
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#3

Postby Tom Dolton » Tue Nov 17, 2020 12:33 am

Psicology wrote:If you have managed to control yourself so far and be more open and more outgoing, I am sure you will be able to control yourself in this situation as well.
Don't allow words directed to another person to strike you.
You are a new and different person!

Are there any exercises to become indifferent of other people's opinion?
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