Gerontophilia

Postby alison9 » Mon Nov 30, 2020 9:42 am

Hi there,
I'm a 30 years old guy. I'm going through hard time due to my sexual preferences. I don't know what to do next in my life and I feel I'm stuck.
I have been in love with older men who are usually +60 years old (I'm picky about them) since I was 14 years old. I have never dated or had relationship with anyone. Actually I'm too afraid to ask because it's forbidden and taboo in my country to be homosexual. I have never spoken about it with anyone because I'm shy and scared to talk about it.
I've been doing catfish in social networks for a while (yes I catfish as a girl because there are so few older guys interested in guy) and watching porn (consists of gay/straight older men) to satisfy my sexual desires but I don't feel that would be good idea to do all my lifetime. I have always felt I'm different because I met so few people sharing my sexual preferences.
I have searched all around internet about Gerontophilia but it's mostly about men/women who are in love in older women/older men and vice versa but few about men who are in love with older men. I found here and thought it might be the place to ask my question.
I'm thinking about future life. I love having child of my own but I have never had any feelings for girls.
p.s: I have never had a female friend because I'm shy and I don't have many friends.
What can I do for my relationship? Is this a kind of psychology disorder or fetish? any tips?
Thanks for devoting time to me
alison9
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Nov 30, 2020 11:52 am

Sure. It is a fetish. Fetish = sexual preference. Fetish = something most people do not enjoy or is considered abnormal by a community.

What do people do about a fetish? They try to find like-minded people and/or communities that are accepting. They join fetish communities. This can be difficult in countries where these communities are underground. In the USA, for example, you move to San Francisco.

At the same time, you should actively work on your social skills. Set some goals. Get out of your comfort zone. If you really don't seem to be able to challenge yourself, then hire a coach or therapist to help you work on developing these skills.

As for having a child. You are not ready. You might "feel" or have the emotions of wanting a child, but at this point, you would not be a good parent. You have other things you need to sort out first.
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#2

Postby davidbanner99@ » Mon Nov 30, 2020 10:16 pm

alison9 wrote:Hi there,
I'm a 30 years old guy. I'm going through hard time due to my sexual preferences. I don't know what to do next in my life and I feel I'm stuck.
I have been in love with older men who are usually +60 years old (I'm picky about them) since I was 14 years old. I have never dated or had relationship with anyone. Actually I'm too afraid to ask because it's forbidden and taboo in my country to be homosexual. I have never spoken about it with anyone because I'm shy and scared to talk about it.
I've been doing catfish in social networks for a while (yes I catfish as a girl because there are so few older guys interested in guy) and watching porn (consists of gay/straight older men) to satisfy my sexual desires but I don't feel that would be good idea to do all my lifetime. I have always felt I'm different because I met so few people sharing my sexual preferences.
I have searched all around internet about Gerontophilia but it's mostly about men/women who are in love in older women/older men and vice versa but few about men who are in love with older men. I found here and thought it might be the place to ask my question.
I'm thinking about future life. I love having child of my own but I have never had any feelings for girls.
p.s: I have never had a female friend because I'm shy and I don't have many friends.
What can I do for my relationship? Is this a kind of psychology disorder or fetish? any tips?
Thanks for devoting time to me

It's really not a problem. You are different. So what? Many many people have the most unconventional sexual fantasies which usually they repress or simply prefer to leave be.
What you describe would have been totally normal in ancient Athens around 400 BC because culture changes according to society.
My advice to you would be just to accept yourself as you are and not bother too much as feelings can be misleading. What really matters is your ethics and not your sexual feelings. Are you a good person? That's all that matters. To repress sexuality invites aggravating frustration and even stress.
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#3

Postby davidbanner99@ » Mon Nov 30, 2020 10:20 pm

alison9 wrote:Hi there,
I'm a 30 years old guy. I'm going through hard time due to my sexual preferences. I don't know what to do next in my life and I feel I'm stuck.
I have been in love with older men who are usually +60 years old (I'm picky about them) since I was 14 years old. I have never dated or had relationship with anyone. Actually I'm too afraid to ask because it's forbidden and taboo in my country to be homosexual. I have never spoken about it with anyone because I'm shy and scared to talk about it.
I've been doing catfish in social networks for a while (yes I catfish as a girl because there are so few older guys interested in guy) and watching porn (consists of gay/straight older men) to satisfy my sexual desires but I don't feel that would be good idea to do all my lifetime. I have always felt I'm different because I met so few people sharing my sexual preferences.
I have searched all around internet about Gerontophilia but it's mostly about men/women who are in love in older women/older men and vice versa but few about men who are in love with older men. I found here and thought it might be the place to ask my question.
I'm thinking about future life. I love having child of my own but I have never had any feelings for girls.
p.s: I have never had a female friend because I'm shy and I don't have many friends.
What can I do for my relationship? Is this a kind of psychology disorder or fetish? any tips?
Thanks for devoting time to me

Also just to add. Don't misrepresent yourself on these other forums and just be honest. You could for example join a transgender site.
Some people are born androgynous where gender is not defined.
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#4

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Mon Dec 14, 2020 4:44 pm

Technically its a fetish. We both know that older men who are 60+ years old are a bad link in the relationship chain. Maybe you want security and communion in your relationships so you decide to go for older men, financially speaking, older men are better than men your age. You have to outweigh the pros and cons. I wouldnt recommend going for an older man. For example is is easiest to see is chance of death and life span for a 60+ man. Sexually they werent as great either. I do not know i am just contemplating. I think you should find a nice guy that is around your age, 4 years older is fine, but older than that is not good.
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