Can fear of hell trigger PTSD-like symptoms?

Postby irisandr20 » Thu Dec 10, 2020 4:01 pm

So I don't know whether this is the right place to post this but, I don't even know what is happening with me.
What I am going to say might sound stupid or even risible, I will try to explain it as well as possible despite English not being my first language.
I have been raised in a very religious family and I am gay. About 6 months ago or so I became extremely distressed by the thought of possibly going to hell to the point where I lost all my hope for the future, my motivation, energy and even will to live. I was so deeply troubled that I wanted to die and regretted having been born. I would live in constant terror, even though sometimes during the day these thoughts would just cross my mind and make me feel anxious, in the nighttime I would have much more time to think and that is when my despair would take place. At that moment I would cry my heart out, feel like screaming and almost forget how to breathe. When I thought about my future, black images would pop into my mind. I am trying to be brief here but if I were to explain all my emotions I would start sobbing right away. Luckily, it didn't last long before someone helped me get back on track. Now I am ok. Thing is that I am often troubled by thoughts of my experience back then. I avoid churches, priests and even discussions about religion. They scare me. They make me cry. A few times per week I get reminded of what I experienced and can't help crying and getting tense and stressed. I can't even put into words how much emotional pain I had to get through. That feeling of despair....I just started crying. Needless to say, that was my most emotionally painful situation I have ever got into. Sometimes I tend to feel like my memory is getting more and more painful as time goes by.
I hope I have got my point across although my reasons for feeling what I am feeling don't seem you think I might be experiencing PTSD? It seems a bit weird to me to be experiencing these kinds of symptoms since I haven't gone through any life threatening events. Of course, i'm not looking for a diagnosis, just an honest opinion.
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Postby tokeless » Thu Dec 10, 2020 8:02 pm

As a non believer of any religion I think it is sad that they are used to demonise people for being who they are.. in your case gay. Surely these all powerful creators must understand being gay because they created you, right? Why would they allow people to be gay if it is such a sin or wrong?
It's all nonsense imo but each to their own as long as it isn't used against people... in your case it is. My advice is to step away and live your life as you, be gay and accept yourself. Now some countries persecute people who are gay and I don't know if you live in one... if you do, is there chance you could move? You don't really mention family and how they treat you.. if badly, walk away and be independent of their ignorance.
As I said, you are who you are and embrace it because you can't be something you're not to gain acceptance as it's a high price to pay and you will live a lie.
Be strong and courageous... if anyone has a problem that then it's their problem not yours. Stay safe and be happy with being you.
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Postby davidbanner99@ » Thu Dec 10, 2020 9:01 pm

Bisexual was normal during the times of Jesus which is why no mention was made of it. Of the initial Roman emperors Tiberius, Caligula and Nero were all bisexual. The mistake is to try and interpret biblical writings and applying modern morals. Even Julius Caesar was probably a little bisexual.
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Postby Prycejosh1987 » Mon Dec 14, 2020 4:32 pm

It can trigger issues, i have heard many stories of people that fear hell, and actually left the christian faith because of it. I think that as time goes by and we spiritually grow, hell will not even be important to note. I used to be scared of going to hell, but i do not feel the same way nowadays. I love and enjoy the spiritual walk. You should do too, just focus on connecting to God, let fear go and reverence come in.
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