I've been smoking for the last 4 years, from 21 to 25 now, in Israel you actually start doing what you want with your life only at the age of 21 because of military service. Right after my discharge I did a little euro-trip which ended in Amsterdam, where I started to smoke regularly, I always wanted to see how it's like to smoke weed and I enjoyed it except the occasional bad trip. I've been a Software Engineer student for the last 3 years, and smoked about 3 times a week pre-COVID, then everything just transferred to remote study, and at first I was very happy about the idea of not needing to wake up at a certain time and go to college, just wake up when I want and watch the VOD's, of course with lack of well, everything, I started to smoke at the end of each day, and I really didn't see the problem in it at first, but I did see the cravings for it, still I enjoyed it so I didn't really care if I crave it or not.
Fast forward to 44 days ago, I had a really bad trip, like I really can't explain in words what was going on through my mind, and tinnitus appeared in the same bad trip, I tried to smoke again 5 days later and I really didn't enjoy it because of the panic I had with the last bad trip, so I decided to quit. I always said to myself "You are not addicted and you can quit anytime you want" and well I was right only about the 2nd part of that sentence.
The first week after I stopped I really didn't know what is going on with my mind, I lost control over my life in a matter of a day (which in retrospective, I lost that control over the course of time when I started to be dependable on weed to cure everything), I burst in tears when talking to my older brother while repeatedly saying "WTF IS GOING ON WITH MY HEAD???" and that my first step into acknowledging that I was an addict.
Like everyone know here, the first 3 weeks were just hell, I've experienced suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, electricity through my whole body and what not and then I had like 4 days of "ok its gone now" before the PAWS started.
Since the PAWS started I'm experiencing mainly anxiety and some depression, I can feel the anxiety around my heart, it's a real physical pressure that hurts with each breath, and I feel dizzy in a way that sometimes everything just spins around me and I feel way less balanced.
I know it's a process, that there is no more "2 puffs and it's gone" and that the most important thing is that I'm alive.
I tried to take maybe 3 times mainly when everything started half a dosage of the minimum dosage (don't remember the mg) of Clonex, which according to google it's known as Clonazepam, and it really did worse than better, I felt like it just stored the anxiety for a later date.
What did the big step for me towards coping with PAWS is the Wim Hof Method (and I pretty much was the biggest skeptical on earth before trying it), I'm not going to preach about it but if anyone is interested I will be more than glad to answer questions about it, his book in general shows you a different perspective on life and the method itself just helps me not to go to that overthinking state which everyone here knows about, my mind is way more clear with it.
Well that's it, it will probably will look like a lot to read but I just wanted to share my experience, thanks for reading & understanding.
