Finally time to quit!

Postby Wave » Tue Jan 12, 2021 7:58 am

Well it’s been a long time but finally I am ready to return here and this time it has to be for good. I have an extremely bad problem with cannabis, which I once managed to quit for 17 months! This is my 6th proper attempt at quitting over the years. Not had a day off in a 2-3 years.

Here is the thread (click here)

I think why I ultimately failed on this quit was I was much younger and felt I was missing out. Now I am so much more settled in life and surrounded myself with people who don’t use drugs and so now I feel the complete opposite that I am missing out by vaping cannabis. For most of the last year I cut back to 6pm and not much but lately I’ve been more often and know I just need to quit.

My wife and I had a miscarriage and so we are hoping to try again and I have to be clean for this so there is no option. I also feel I am limiting my life and no I am in my thirties I will lose a lot of stuff I have worked so hard for (including my wife) if I do not sort this out.

Here are all the reason why I need to and actually this time really want to give up:

- My wife has a miscarriage and if we try again I must be 100% sober
- I will lose my career if caught with weed
- I will lose my marriage if I keep going
- Even though I just vape my lungs feel tight and not great
- Each day I feel I am in withdrawal and if I quit this will eventually go
- I have made it 17 months before and that time I was smoking which I found harder
- I don’t like being a stoner and have to hide it from everyone
- The smell
- The cost
- It ruins my emotions and memory making me a less stable person
- I have quit alcohol and caffeine 2 years ago and life is so much better without them, I know this will be the same for cannabis too, it’s my final (worst addiction) to finally tackle.
- I love being in control of my life and this is my final area I have no control at all.

Today is day 1, I threw away the best part of an ounce yesterday and left a tiny bit so I could wake up today with nothing in the house. I am going to keep busy, exercise as much as I can and just try and ride it out. I know it took the best part of a year to feel properly better last time and even then I remember there being periods of PAWS and feeling super down, need to be ready for that.

Things that I plan to use to help me with this quit:

- CBT Counselling
- Exercise. This was the only true relief in previous quits so going to try and fill my time with as much exercise as I can.
- CBD Oil (twice a day under the tongue)
- Melatonin (in the evening before sleep)
- Sleeping tablets to hand but only a few and only for the first 1-2 nights but don’t plan to take often, if at all if I can help it.

It has been great reading other people’s threads. Glad this place is still going and I joined here in 2012 so shows how long I have been trying to quit for! I know this is going to take the best part of a year to properly get better from but currently working from home and will never get a better opportunity to stop ever again, looking like at least the first two months I will be working from home and to quit while at work would be way harder so seeing the UK’s 3rd lockdown as a blessing in disguise!

Thanks for reading!
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 778
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217


#1

Postby FAITH » Wed Jan 13, 2021 8:08 pm

Just curious Wave, you said you had quit for 17 months, why did you start back? During the 17 months did you have any heart palpitations, or arrhythmia. I’ve been off weed for 6 months and 13 days...seems like my hearth issues have gotten better, still hanging around though. I really do wish the best for you, you’ve gone longer than I have so you know what to expect. When you made it 17 months, we’re you basically back to normal? Best wishes man, hang in there.
FAITH
New Member
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2020 10:37 pm
Likes Received: 8

#2

Postby FAITH » Wed Jan 13, 2021 8:17 pm

Sorry, man is this PAWS stuff real? I’ve heard some on here say it’s not really PAWS stuff happening. You’d know as many times as you’ve quit. Do you experience the same feelings and problems each time? After 6+ months, could I still be going through Withdrawl? Thanks
FAITH
New Member
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2020 10:37 pm
Likes Received: 8

#3

Postby Wave » Thu Jan 14, 2021 3:03 pm

Faith, thank you for replying to my thread, definitely seems as though this forum has got quieter!

FAITH wrote:Just curious Wave, you said you had quit for 17 months, why did you start back? During the 17 months did you have any heart palpitations, or arrhythmia. I’ve been off weed for 6 months and 13 days...seems like my hearth issues have gotten better, still hanging around though.


Really good question, why did I go back? I think I did as I went to see a mate who I know I shouldn't see and knew I would vape with if I went. I was young (mid-20s) and felt that I was missing out on something. Now I feel the opposite, I feel each day I continue to use I am missing out on life now. I think this change in mindset will help a lot.

My marriage will be over before long if I dont sort now. We want to have kids and I always said I would quit at this point and I honestly do not want drugs around if I have a child.

I found parts of the quit hard. I had this belief that magically I would feel amazing and never tempted by weed again but everyday you can fail, life isnt magically better but not being an addict is something I really long to achieve. I don't drink, smoke or even drink caffeine and this is the last thing I need to sort out!

FAITH wrote: I really do wish the best for you, you’ve gone longer than I have so you know what to expect. When you made it 17 months, we’re you basically back to normal? Best wishes man, hang in there.


After 12-13 months I felt properly better. The bigger issue was back then I lives somewhere I didn't love, was quite isolated and didn't have much going on so weed was perfect to fill that hole.

Now I am in a new area, got mates local, no use drugs and just feels like an embarrassing secret. I would love my job if it was found out and tired of the added pressure of that.

After 6 months I was very much feeling PAWS and I think PAWS led me back to weed as I let my brain tell me "this time will be different". For me, it never will be different and tired and trying again and again.

Day 3

Not been too bad, headaches have started today but since I only vaped it seems less intense than other quits. When I quit tobacco and weed it was unreal how bad it was. I do miss it in some ways but being clear-headed has been amazing and not popping outside for a vape last night was really nice.

Cant wait to get the first two weeks out of the way!
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 778
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217

#4

Postby FAITH » Thu Jan 14, 2021 5:47 pm

Wave I really appreciate the response. I hope you will keep updating your progress. Yes This forum has gotten quieter. I’ve followed it the past 6 months on my quit just reading and rereading post for mental support. If I could just get some sleep and not have these heart palpitations and chest discomfort I would be in pretty good shape. I’ve been to a cardiologist, wore a heart monitor 12 days, ekgs, stress test, every thing seemed o.k. to the doc. What’s hard for me is I’m almost 60, don’t really have a good friend, single, living in this house with no one to talk to. Yes I know, I’m pretty pathetic. The choices we make early in life really affect us later in life. I’m just now learning that. I really appreciate you and wish you the very best. Keep the up dates coming.
FAITH
New Member
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2020 10:37 pm
Likes Received: 8

#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Jan 14, 2021 6:40 pm

FAITH wrote: Sorry, man is this PAWS stuff real? If I could just get some sleep and not have these heart palpitations and chest discomfort I would be in pretty good shape. I’ve been to a cardiologist, wore a heart monitor 12 days, ekgs, stress test, every thing seemed o.k. to the doc.


The lack of sleep, heart palpitations, and chest discomfort are not due to withdrawal from cannabis. The chemicals have long ago left your system. There is another cause.

What might it be?
Richard@DecisionSkills
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 11107
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:25 am
Likes Received: 1162

#6

Postby Lightweight » Fri Jan 15, 2021 2:17 am

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
FAITH wrote: Sorry, man is this PAWS stuff real? If I could just get some sleep and not have these heart palpitations and chest discomfort I would be in pretty good shape. I’ve been to a cardiologist, wore a heart monitor 12 days, ekgs, stress test, every thing seemed o.k. to the doc.


The lack of sleep, heart palpitations, and chest discomfort are not due to withdrawal from cannabis. The chemicals have long ago left your system. There is another cause.

What might it be?

How wrong you are. Obviously you’ve never had paws
Lightweight
New Member
 
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed May 17, 2017 10:02 pm
Likes Received: 7

#7

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Jan 15, 2021 2:42 am

Lightweight wrote:How wrong you are. Obviously you’ve never had paws


Ugh, the tired "you have never had it" hogwash.

Therapist, "You don't have bipolar disorder."
Patient, "You are wrong, obviously you have never had the symptoms of bipolar disorder."

Mechanic, "Your car doesn't need new tires."
Customer, "You are wrong, obviously you have never driven my car."

The "you've never" argument is weak. It is an excuse people use to shield themselves from any opinion they don't wish to hear. They don't need to listen to friends, family, and in your case even medical doctors. You've had ekg's, your heart has been checked. Your fine.

Your anxiety is no longer caused by withdrawal from cannabis. You can continue to put your head in the sand, but that's not going to help you get better sleep and reduce the anxiety that is causing tightness in your chest.
Richard@DecisionSkills
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 11107
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:25 am
Likes Received: 1162

#8

Postby FriendlyFriend » Fri Jan 15, 2021 9:27 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Lightweight wrote:How wrong you are. Obviously you’ve never had paws


Ugh, the tired "you have never had it" hogwash.

Therapist, "You don't have bipolar disorder."
Patient, "You are wrong, obviously you have never had the symptoms of bipolar disorder."

Mechanic, "Your car doesn't need new tires."
Customer, "You are wrong, obviously you have never driven my car."

The "you've never" argument is weak. It is an excuse people use to shield themselves from any opinion they don't wish to hear. They don't need to listen to friends, family, and in your case even medical doctors. You've had ekg's, your heart has been checked. Your fine.

Your anxiety is no longer caused by withdrawal from cannabis. You can continue to put your head in the sand, but that's not going to help you get better sleep and reduce the anxiety that is causing tightness in your chest.

But you are not a therapist. You are not a mechanic. You have no understanding of physiology. All you have is your mentor skills, which are contextually irrelevant. PAWS is a real, medically acknowledged syndrome that can last for up to two years. It is known to alcoholics. It is known to benzo addicts. It is known to stimulant users. Likewise, it is known to heavy cannabis smokers. No amount of tough love will make the nervous system heal any faster.
FriendlyFriend
New Member
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Jan 27, 2020 8:57 pm
Likes Received: 2

#9

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Jan 15, 2021 9:49 pm

FriendlyFriend wrote:PAWS is a real, medically acknowledged syndrome that can last for up to two years. No amount of tough love will make the nervous system heal any faster.


Post the peer-reviewed academic study that supports what you are claiming. Not a blog or some opinion on Psychology Today. Specifically, I'm interested in the two-year time frame.
Richard@DecisionSkills
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 11107
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:25 am
Likes Received: 1162

#10

Postby Wave » Fri Jan 15, 2021 10:30 pm

Lightweight wrote:How wrong you are. Obviously you’ve never had paws


THANK YOU!! I saw Richard's comments and couldn't believe what I was reading.

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:But you are not a therapist. You are not a mechanic. You have no understanding of physiology. All you have is your mentor skills, which are contextually irrelevant.


And you are a therapist?! Do you tell your clients "The lack of sleep, heart palpitations, and chest discomfort are not due to withdrawal from cannabis" or just people online :lol:

You said that Cannabis doesn't cause lack of sleep, go in my signature to my 17 month quit and trust me I had sleep issues some of the time at 6 months. Your comments almost made me never return to this forum. Please do not post in my thread anymore, if you want to chat either PM me (please don't) or start another thread.

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:PAWS is a real, medically acknowledged syndrome that can last for up to two years. It is known to alcoholics. It is known to benzo addicts. It is known to stimulant users. Likewise, it is known to heavy cannabis smokers. No amount of tough love will make the nervous system heal any faster.


You have contradicted yourself here as you acknowledge that that PAWS is real. I got it bad at points and even at almost two years went back to this horrid addiction. Seriously why are you posting here with such negativity to recovering addicts? Shameful!

Day 4

I slept about 2 hours last night and today has been tough. My head is still very much into this and this quit feels different but only time will tell. I have to change now or things in my life will change out of my control but I massively want this change!!! Mentally I have been fine, feeling withdrawal but seems manageable today, just vaping I think has made the withdrawal better than when I quit from smoking which is great, still could get worse and ready for that. I am excited to get further along the process which I have never felt before which is amazing.

Need to get some exercise done this weekend, got yoga booked in on zoom with a friend and I genuinely think I am missing out of the full potential of life while this addiction has a hold on me.

Thanks to everyone (except Rich the understanding therapist :wink: ) for your kind comments, it is appreciated!
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 778
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217

#11

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Jan 15, 2021 10:51 pm

Wave wrote:You have contradicted yourself here as you acknowledge that that PAWS is real.


PAWS is a real concept, a real idea, the same as any other concept or idea is real. Acknowledging that the concept of Santa Claus is real doesn't mean that Santa Claus is real. Acknowledging that there is a concept called "mind" and that it is a real concept, doesn't mean that the mind exists. It is a useful way to discuss the idea...to conceptualize it.

Seriously why are you posting here with such negativity to recovering addicts? Shameful!


What is shameful is when people try to silence people in a public forum because they offer an opinion other than what they already wish to believe. That is negative. What I have posted is positive and is currently supported by the scientific evidence.

I'm open to the idea that I could be wrong, what about you?
Richard@DecisionSkills
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 11107
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:25 am
Likes Received: 1162

#12

Postby Wave » Fri Jan 15, 2021 11:03 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:PAWS is a real concept, a real idea, the same as any other concept or idea is real. Acknowledging that the concept of Santa Claus is real doesn't mean that Santa Claus is real.


So you again acknowledge that the person you were negative towards who asked me a question about PAWS due to previous quits very much could be suffering PAWS. I had answered them already and then you felt the need to be quite negative?!!? Very strange.

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:I'm open to the idea that I could be wrong, what about you?


No one came here for a debate, we came here for a supportive forum which in previous quits this place has been, why the need to be so contentious?!? :?

I have asked you to not post to further derail this topic which you have not respected. As such I will then simply leave.....as it seems everyone else in this section of the forum has already as it's dead as f**k :lol:

You probably scared them all off with your negativity. :wink:

A part of me was actually really excited to come here and post again and share my story but its clear you are not making me feel welcome here at all. Even after you read my posts about being in the first week of recovering from my cannabis addiction, its my 5-6th thread that must tell you a lot about where I am with it, and you want an argument/debate?

You clearly don't get addiction forums at all..... :x
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 778
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217

#13

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Jan 15, 2021 11:39 pm

Wave wrote: So you again acknowledge that the person you were negative towards who asked me a question about PAWS due to previous quits very much could be suffering PAWS. I had answered them already and then you felt the need to be quite negative?!!? Very strange.


What is strange to me is how telling someone that they are not suffering from PAWS is somehow in your opinion negative! Very odd indeed.

Person A, "I experience a tingling sensation in my hand. I think I'm suffering from sniffing glue when I was 4-years old."
Person B, "No, you are not suffering from sniffing glue that long ago."
Person A, "Why are you being so negative!"

Yep, I agree with you, very strange.

Wave wrote:
You clearly don't get addiction forums at all.....


I understand it is a public forum to have a discussion and share ideas. You apparently see it as something where the only ideas that should be shared are those where everyone agrees. If you see that as an argument/debate, that is your opinion.

I wish you luck with trying to quit, but I don't think you are off to a very good start. You seem to be going down the same path as your previous attempts. Maybe, maybe you would be more likely to quit for good if you decided to make a change in how you approach the idea of PAWS.

And saying that I don't think you are off to a very good start is not negative. It is an opinion. It is an opportunity to consider a different path, not just repeating the same path, and that will be more productive.
Richard@DecisionSkills
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 11107
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:25 am
Likes Received: 1162

#14

Postby FAITH » Fri Jan 15, 2021 11:49 pm

Wave, please don’t quit this thread. Keep giving up dates. The last couple of days my heart races after I eat. Not understanding that. Maybe I eat too much. Some days I hardly notice it, other days notice the palpitations and racing. When I feel good some days I get out and walk. Three days ago I walked 3.3 miles no problem. Days like today, walk to the bathroom and my heart races around. Calms back down though. I might try an ambien tonight . Really glad you made it 4 days now. Keep it up. And keep updating. Some days my palpitations worry me to death. Other days I feel them but it doesn’t bother me. I did take a busiprone 5 mg today, this morning...maybe that made my heart race around. I believe I’ll quit taking them. Only took 1. Sorry man, I appreciate you listening. Wish this whole paws forum would come back to life. Thanks
FAITH
New Member
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon Nov 30, 2020 10:37 pm
Likes Received: 8


Next

  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Addictions