7.5 months now

#15

Postby 9monthquit » Wed Mar 31, 2021 1:08 am

Winzu wrote:Month 8

I have been having a hard time these last 2 weeks. I feel ill, weak and have all sorts of symptoms. It has been one of the most difficult periods of the last 4 months.

Saturday was terrible. I almost experienced a panic attack again (last time was month 3). I was watching a movie with friends while I had extreme brain fog. Afterwards my heart rate increased, I felt terrible as if I came down from a MDMA trip. A lot of negative thoughts and physical pains I haven’t experienced for a long time now. When I started walking outside the symptoms reduced a lot but still lingered on for 3 days.

I experience severe anhedonia, negative repeating thoughts, headaches/head pressure (especially behind eyes), extreme brain fog, digestive issues, insomnia, pale face with thin hairs, heart palpitations and anxiety when under stress.

The previous month I considered PAWS to be very manageable. It was exciting to me knowing that I reached a point where life is good and will continue to become way better. Unfortunately, I experienced another heavy wave. I hope that this is soon over and that my next good wave will be even better and longer. So that I will be able to have a normal summer time once again.


Hang in there. I feel exactly where you're coming from, just last week I finished a wave that lasted a little over a week. Once you're out of the wave it gets much more manageable and you feel close to normal again. I think us getting these waves that sometimes get just as intense as the waves during the early stages of PAWS is a strong sign of recovery.
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#16

Postby Winzu » Wed Mar 31, 2021 10:50 am

9monthquit wrote:
Winzu wrote:Month 8

I have been having a hard time these last 2 weeks. I feel ill, weak and have all sorts of symptoms. It has been one of the most difficult periods of the last 4 months.

Saturday was terrible. I almost experienced a panic attack again (last time was month 3). I was watching a movie with friends while I had extreme brain fog. Afterwards my heart rate increased, I felt terrible as if I came down from a MDMA trip. A lot of negative thoughts and physical pains I haven’t experienced for a long time now. When I started walking outside the symptoms reduced a lot but still lingered on for 3 days.

I experience severe anhedonia, negative repeating thoughts, headaches/head pressure (especially behind eyes), extreme brain fog, digestive issues, insomnia, pale face with thin hairs, heart palpitations and anxiety when under stress.

The previous month I considered PAWS to be very manageable. It was exciting to me knowing that I reached a point where life is good and will continue to become way better. Unfortunately, I experienced another heavy wave. I hope that this is soon over and that my next good wave will be even better and longer. So that I will be able to have a normal summer time once again.


Hang in there. I feel exactly where you're coming from, just last week I finished a wave that lasted a little over a week. Once you're out of the wave it gets much more manageable and you feel close to normal again. I think us getting these waves that sometimes get just as intense as the waves during the early stages of PAWS is a strong sign of recovery.


I really hope so, today has been significantly better. What makes you think that these intense waves could be a strong sign of recovery?
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#17

Postby 9monthquit » Thu Apr 01, 2021 10:58 pm

Well, from what I have witnessed every time I get a wave, I feel significantly better a few days after. But more recently, I notice the better days are lasting longer after the wave. I had an epic PAWS wave late Jan that really made me lose a lot of hope, I was slipping into a deep depression. It lasted for a little over a week. I went out for a run one day, and something just clicked. Pretty much the entire Feb month I spent PAWS free with manageable symptoms. I think the waves just indicate your brain is finding a state of homeostasis, and once you feel normal after a wave, your brain tends to slip into another one again (after a while) because it's still not used to being like that permanently. I can't say any of this is scientifically true as it's just my side of the story and how I feel.
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#18

Postby Winzu » Fri Apr 02, 2021 6:44 pm

9monthquit wrote:Well, from what I have witnessed every time I get a wave, I feel significantly better a few days after. But more recently, I notice the better days are lasting longer after the wave. I had an epic PAWS wave late Jan that really made me lose a lot of hope, I was slipping into a deep depression. It lasted for a little over a week. I went out for a run one day, and something just clicked. Pretty much the entire Feb month I spent PAWS free with manageable symptoms. I think the waves just indicate your brain is finding a state of homeostasis, and once you feel normal after a wave, your brain tends to slip into another one again (after a while) because it's still not used to being like that permanently. I can't say any of this is scientifically true as it's just my side of the story and how I feel.


It always seems like I have a long period that is average-to-bad and after that a long period that is average-to-good, vice versa. And indeed, every time I have a really bad wave it is significantly less the days following.

You anecdotal experience is sufficient to theorize an explanation. I think you are right.
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#19

Postby Winzu » Fri Apr 09, 2021 1:41 pm

Month 8.5

Last post I underwent a difficult time. Since a long time ago I had a minor panic attack again.

I slowly felt better day by day. Until I became sick and had the flu (luckily no COVID-19). Even though I was sick, I was more relaxed than usual. I had the ability again to fully enjoy watching movies. I slept a lot better than usual. I have had insomnia for 2-3 months now. I feel as if it is slowly getting better, since the flu my sleep has been improving significantly. It usually takes me 30-60 minutes to fall a sleep. I feel like this number is 10-15 minutes now.

I hoped to be a lot better after the flu (that it would lead to positive change). Unfortunately, I still experience blurry vision, head pressure, low energy and anhedonia. The depression and anxiety are very minimal. I hope that the coming 3 months will improve a lot. I will keep updating.
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#20

Postby tokes » Sat Apr 10, 2021 12:27 pm

In the next three months you will see more improvements as these are key months as you move towards a year. Try stretching and drinking lots of water when a panic attack happens small or big. Stretching so blood rushes to your head is a good way to reset the system, and then end with a nice splash of cold water. Keep going bro, you're doing well.
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#21

Postby Winzu » Sat Apr 10, 2021 5:15 pm

tokes wrote:In the next three months you will see more improvements as these are key months as you move towards a year. Try stretching and drinking lots of water when a panic attack happens small or big. Stretching so blood rushes to your head is a good way to reset the system, and then end with a nice splash of cold water. Keep going bro, you're doing well.


Thanks for your advice Tokes. I appreciate the comment. I hope you are right!
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