7.5 months now

#45

Postby 9monthquit » Fri May 14, 2021 7:18 pm

Absolutely man. Your words definitely ease some of the stress. I just dealt with something important yesterday and received some pretty good news, so yesterday and today have actually been 95% PAWS free for me!

I think you're right about the reduced blood circulation. My hair has thinned a lot ever since PAWS started (though my beard / eyelashes / eyebrows have remained the same?!) The exhausted look is absolutely an indicator I've noticed too actually. I never paid much attention to it, but now that you mention it, I recall during the bad times having heavy and shiny eyes (almost like I'm sleepy)

I definitely understand the internet triggering PAWS. When I was back in my prime PAWS days (like 5 months ago, lol) the internet and especially news would really exaggerate my PAWS. To be honest, they still kind of do now, but to a much, much lower degree. Going outside definitely helps.

I totally agree how easy it is to forget the crippling anxiety. I remember waking up almost every night with my heart racing, sometimes not even able to move my body or think a single thought due to anxiety. Waking up in the morning with my heart racing too. Going to bed with my heart racing too. Man, the anxiety really hit hard. I've actually forgotten about those times as the anxiety is diminishing to very minimal amounts for me. There are more and more things sneaking into my list of activities I can do without tripping into a PAWS wave. And the things you mentioned have definitely made it in there. It certainly is a sign that we have recovered so much already. I too believe we will be much healthier. To me, as long as I'm not smoking and wasting my life away high and intoxicated, I'm being productive.
9monthquit
New Member
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2021 4:25 pm
Likes Received: 1


#46

Postby Winzu » Mon May 17, 2021 9:14 pm

9monthquit wrote:Absolutely man. Your words definitely ease some of the stress. I just dealt with something important yesterday and received some pretty good news, so yesterday and today have actually been 95% PAWS free for me!

I think you're right about the reduced blood circulation. My hair has thinned a lot ever since PAWS started (though my beard / eyelashes / eyebrows have remained the same?!) The exhausted look is absolutely an indicator I've noticed too actually. I never paid much attention to it, but now that you mention it, I recall during the bad times having heavy and shiny eyes (almost like I'm sleepy)

I definitely understand the internet triggering PAWS. When I was back in my prime PAWS days (like 5 months ago, lol) the internet and especially news would really exaggerate my PAWS. To be honest, they still kind of do now, but to a much, much lower degree. Going outside definitely helps.

I totally agree how easy it is to forget the crippling anxiety. I remember waking up almost every night with my heart racing, sometimes not even able to move my body or think a single thought due to anxiety. Waking up in the morning with my heart racing too. Going to bed with my heart racing too. Man, the anxiety really hit hard. I've actually forgotten about those times as the anxiety is diminishing to very minimal amounts for me. There are more and more things sneaking into my list of activities I can do without tripping into a PAWS wave. And the things you mentioned have definitely made it in there. It certainly is a sign that we have recovered so much already. I too believe we will be much healthier. To me, as long as I'm not smoking and wasting my life away high and intoxicated, I'm being productive.


It is good to have found someone who shares a similar journey and is able to intelligently elaborate himself. The blood circulation is really a thing. I found that my whole personality has changed because of PAWS. The sort of behavior I had as a child; introverted, shy and childish. I am progressively becoming myself again, but it still fluctuates and is way different than before.

It is bizarre to realize that the beginning of all this was such agony. Your whole personality and life become non-existent within a couple of months after quitting, and return extremely gradual over a period of months/years. Life is literally on PAUSE, no growth in any aspect of your life. While impatiently waiting for it all to end. Every day you hope that it is finally over. But then you wake up with such physical distress and anxiety as if you chugged 2 liters of beer while falling to sleep, forgetting to drink any water at all. Having to go through all of it again... Every day sucks in a way, you’re hoping that one of these days a ‘good wave’ hits. But instead you feel even worse and end up realizing you were in a ‘good wave’ all along. I was unaware about the existence of such torture before. The devil makes you go through all of this entirely by yourself, as no one in your environment really knows or cares what you are dealing with. Most of them deny its existence, some others will even convince you to believe that it is all between your ears, or that you have some kind of anxiety disorder...

I am actually doing great these last weeks, but I get chills when I think of those old days... I can not imagine what benzodiazepines addicts go through...
Winzu
Junior Member
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2021 6:31 pm
Likes Received: 6

#47

Postby Magicisreal12345 » Wed May 19, 2021 9:37 am

Hey winzu. I’m hitting ten months tomorrow or the next day and I am feeling pretty much 100%better. Do I have anxiety time to time? Yea but I don’t think it’s paws. Am I still healing? Yea probably somewhat. But self esteem changes the game.
Magicisreal12345
New Member
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2020 7:45 am
Likes Received: 1

#48

Postby Winzu » Wed May 19, 2021 10:04 am

Magicisreal12345 wrote:Hey winzu. I’m hitting ten months tomorrow or the next day and I am feeling pretty much 100%better. Do I have anxiety time to time? Yea but I don’t think it’s paws. Am I still healing? Yea probably somewhat. But self esteem changes the game.


Awesome! I must say, I have been doing great lately as well. Is your anhedonia and anxiety full gone now?
Winzu
Junior Member
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2021 6:31 pm
Likes Received: 6

#49

Postby 9monthquit » Wed Jun 16, 2021 11:26 pm

It's been a while. How's it going?
9monthquit
New Member
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2021 4:25 pm
Likes Received: 1

#50

Postby john5:6 » Thu Jun 17, 2021 4:08 am

Update please!
john5:6
New Member
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2021 5:10 am
Likes Received: 0


Previous

  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Addictions