Postby Amanda0001 » Sat May 08, 2021 4:20 am

My mother always treated me badly since I was a chil
Lately I'm getting really depressed
Maybe it's because of the quarantine, and having to stay at home idk
I changed course at the university so there are a few years to finish it
I am 24 years old .. I should have graduated, but I was not happy in the previous course

I can't suport this anymore.. My mother saying that I won't be anyone in life and that my younger sisters will have a job and a life faster than me .. And that I will be cleaning the house my whole life

My mom praises my younger sister, and she also always preferred her company over mine
She always says I'm annoyng, she doesn't like to go out with me and whenever she is close to me she wants to criticize me

What I can do I don't have the money to leave the house yet, but I can't take this situation anymore
Sometimes I think it would be better if I wasn't born and that there is no place for me or my own family
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat May 08, 2021 1:28 pm

Amanda0001 wrote: What I can do I don't have the money to leave the house yet, but I can't take this situation anymore.

How can you get money? One way is to get a job...or you can provide a good/service that others are willing to pay you for. You can also sell things you might own. Last, you could borrow money from friends.

At 24 years old, what skills do you offer? Can you wait tables? Are you able to stock shelves in a grocery store? Do you have the ability to clean toilets? In other words, you are physically capable of various degrees of manual labor, correct?

Understandably, given COVID the ability to gain employment varies dependent on where you live. If you happen to live in the USA then you are very fortunate. Currently employers are struggling to find help.

The real question is what are you willing to sacrifice in order to be independent? Are you willing to live with roommates to split the bills, drop out of university, have a minimum wage job, sleep on a mattress, no Internet, no cell phone, etc. etc.?
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Postby romanrusso » Sun May 09, 2021 12:17 pm

Sorry to hear about your home situation. It is indeed toxic and it is unfortunate that you have a parent who is less than benevolent. One thing you must remember that your mom has problems (psychological or otherwise) and she is lashing out on you. In this way, you are not at fault and while it may be difficult to do it, you can feel compassion (sorry) for your mom.

Indeed, leaving the house would be your salvation. Maybe getting BF/GF and staying at their house would help? Maybe go stay with a friend or other family member for a while? I too left my house eventually and I was very happy with my life decision.

As for money, RIchard offers some good ideas. To this I wiil add that Aa 24yo I didn't achieve anything either, so you should not be hard on yourself. Some jobs offer housing, you just need to look. There are many volunteering websites like "workaway" which can offer free accommodation. Maybe indeed you can with some part-time to start getting some practice?

As for your course, did you ever think of completing it later in your life? The value of education is not as great as it once used to be.

Lastly, don't wish "for never being born." This is lame. I mean, you know what the source of your problem and you know what you need to aim at. Once you achieve that, your life situation will improve. Hold on in there!
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