Day 1: Quitting Smoking Weed

Postby lalallaaidk » Fri May 14, 2021 12:45 am

Hi,

I am starting my journey today. Day 1. I'm scared. I feel like I will never be the me I was before. I was very smart and determined. I started smoking at 16 and I've been smoking everyday for 12 years. I found out recently that your brain is still developing till the age of 25 and now I feel like I didn't give myself the chance to fully develop. I wonder if I am ever going to be able to become the version of myself I could have been today if I never smoked. Today I begin searching for myself again. I am searching for the fire, the light, the confidence, that made me determined and passionate, that made me who I was. I knew what I wanted and I knew who I wanted to be but after I started smoking I lost all that. I didn't care about anything anymore. The things that fulfilled me before were replaced and I didn't feel the need or want to really accomplish much. Smoking made me feel fine with everything, at peace with everything, just doing the bare minimum, that's all I've been doing since the day I started smoking and I am done. I am done with that and I am ready to take control of my life. I started this post because I came across biggiesize's posts and I'm inspired to document my own journey. Whoever else is ready but is having a hard time. It is hard. Expect it to be hard, but don't stop trying and don't stop reminding yourself what you want. This is my 5th time trying to quit and I finally actually feel ready. We can do this.


How I feel today:
Kind of Empty (I want to smoke)
More Energy than usual but still feel cloudy (tired/lazy/unmotivated/unfocused)
Determined to stop
Even though I feel empty I can still say I feel happy and grateful
lalallaaidk
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#1

Postby tokeless » Fri May 14, 2021 4:55 am

Hi,
Well done for starting your journey. Life isn't for regret because it makes us who we are, good and bad. I bet there were times you felt weed was an amazing thing? I did and I guess still do. It helped me step outside my norm brain, the one that doesn't explore beyond what's there. I have no regrets and I used 35 years daily... pretty much.
You can't take back time so try not focus on what you feel you've lost or wasted... nothing is wasted, it's perspective.
Focus on now because you can change that, bit by bit... tomorrow ain't here so you can't do anything with it other than look forward to it.
You'll crave what you feel you lost... smoking. You haven't lost it, you've chosen not to and it's important to remember that. You have chosen this. You could score and be high again whenever you choose to, yet to don't... that's choice and a good one. What did you learn from your other quits? Why did you relapse? Learn from that. Your brain is very clever at influencing your choices... it can make you think you need something that you don't... time for you to take control of that. You can do this... I did, many, many have, so why are you different? Why can't you too?
Ride the dips and embrace the new highs.. accept you will feel different but it's temporary.. everything has a duality.. focus on the good you have done, not the losses you feel. Regret nothing but learn from your mistakes. You can chose to be a non smoker or to smoke. It really is that simple.
Best wishes.
tokeless
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