I have no friends

Postby Diyar » Thu May 27, 2021 9:40 am

Hello everybody!
I hope you are well.

I need a piece of advice.

I am a man, 28 y.o.and I am completely alone.
I speak about friendship and about relationship as well.
I know that it might sound not serious, but it is.
My loneliness filled my whole life. Some of you may presume that I have no hobbies or interests, however I am very curious and well-educated person, polite and friendly.
Lack of soulmate in my life is the reason why I tend to celebrate my each birthday by myself.
I even go to the cinema alone.

This problem I have since I became a teenager. I remember myself at 13y.o. Going to the cinema and dreaming that when I grew up I would have someone who I can share my leisure with.

This forum is my hope that might help me.
No one can answer to my question.

I asked myself thousand times what do I do wrongly or what should I do in order to solve this problem.
I know this problem exists and I cannot let myself just sit and wait until someone comes into my life.
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#1

Postby davidbanner99@ » Thu May 27, 2021 1:47 pm

Diyar wrote:Hello everybody!
I hope you are well.

I need a piece of advice.

I am a man, 28 y.o.and I am completely alone.
I speak about friendship and about relationship as well.
I know that it might sound not serious, but it is.
My loneliness filled my whole life. Some of you may presume that I have no hobbies or interests, however I am very curious and well-educated person, polite and friendly.
Lack of soulmate in my life is the reason why I tend to celebrate my each birthday by myself.
I even go to the cinema alone.

This problem I have since I became a teenager. I remember myself at 13y.o. Going to the cinema and dreaming that when I grew up I would have someone who I can share my leisure with.

This forum is my hope that might help me.
No one can answer to my question.

I asked myself thousand times what do I do wrongly or what should I do in order to solve this problem.
I know this problem exists and I cannot let myself just sit and wait until someone comes into my life.


A lot of people who have friends and relationships very often build themselves an illusion of normality. Not all friends are sincere and not all relationships come without conditions. Having friends is good but it's better to wait and seek sincerity, rather than cling to the nearest passer-by. Finding yourself is a good avenue to explore and giving time to find the right people. Try reading some Jiddu Krishnamurti quotes on this.
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#2

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu May 27, 2021 1:57 pm

Diyar wrote:I asked myself thousand times what do I do wrongly or what should I do in order to solve this problem.


How much time do you spend each week engaged in activities that include women and/or provide you the opportunity to interact with women?

Examples; work, school, volunteer organizations, book clubs, sports clubs, church.
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#3

Postby davidbanner99@ » Thu May 27, 2021 9:39 pm

It's a complex question. Part of not being lonely is connected to being on the same wavelength as others. John Lennon refers to this in his song Strawberry Fields Forever. "Nobody I think is in my tree". Lennon only found his connection with Yoko Ono, who was a trained pianist and artist.
I think the more normal you are, the easier to find friends.
I do now finally have a friend, female and Indian. She phones often to chat and we share a lot of things. For some reason we connect. We are both a bit offbeat.
I think when you feel isolated and empty, it's a good idea not to get pressured. The feeling you "must" be some kind of winner and popular is one deception of the internet where "likes" are supposed to shape our decisons and self esteem. Why live to please others? As we mature we may find friends that relate to our unique personality. I mean, John Lennon only filled his void when he met Yoko Ono.
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#4

Postby bawdyheated » Fri May 28, 2021 3:22 am

I agree with the comments above. Friends are not just a group people that you meet.
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#5

Postby Hypnofan » Sat May 29, 2021 8:26 am

At this age most of the people are busy in their job/business/family. They can't spend time with friends. So I suggest also you should keep yourself busy in your job or business and you will forget about making friends.
Or join a group of people with similar interest that you have. Or join any training class.
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