4.5 months

Postby Pawsreallysucks » Thu Jun 03, 2021 3:03 am

4.5 months clean from a 10 year weed binge. Main issues are - - pretty bad depression, negative thoughts, tired eyes (like I just smoked a fat dab), anhedonia, loss of personality, and anxiety. Another weird thing is I usually go to bed feeling okay but wake up extremely anxious and depressed. It’s a repeating cycle. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even paws or if I’ll just be depressed/anxious all the time. Pretty shitty.

The good thing is I’m sleeping just fine. Although I do look exhausted throughout the day. I’ve had a couple people tell me I always look a lot more tired than usual these days. Anyone know why this happens? I thought I’d look healthier after quitting weed not worse.

I exercise, train jiu jitsu, sleep well, and take omega 3 every morning. Still no luck. Went to the doctors a few months ago, all my levels are normal. Hoping for advice. Don’t want to take anti depressants. Would like to get to a more normal/stable state of mind on my own. Thanks and keep fighting to anyone suffering from paws.
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#1

Postby Winzu » Thu Jun 03, 2021 9:40 pm

This is PAWS for sure. Hold on, after 6-7 months it became a lot easier for me. Have you also tested your T levels?
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#2

Postby WeWillDoThis » Thu Jun 03, 2021 11:37 pm

Did your PAWS start immediately or do you feel like it progressed and got worse overtime?
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#3

Postby Pawsreallysucks » Fri Jun 04, 2021 12:13 am

Hey wewilldothis, the day after my quit I had night sweats, insomnia, extreme anxiety, and tinnitus for about 2 weeks. Felt better for maybe a week then all the other symptoms I mentioned surfaced.

I also want to mention alot has changed since my quit. I Feel like it was so easy to hangout with friends and fill up my day when smoking. Now hanging out with those same friends doesn’t really seem the same for myself and even for them. It’s like I’m out of the loop now. Doesn’t help my situation much.

I had the misconception that I’d feel a lot better, have more energy, better relationships, and more time to do things I enjoy but it’s actually been the complete opposite since my quit. This has been a draining experience and probably the worst 4.5 months of my life. I don’t mean to sound dramatic or discourage anyone but this has been my experience.

Anyone else have a similar experience or can extend any advice?
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#4

Postby WeWillDoThis » Fri Jun 04, 2021 12:45 am

Hi again-I’m only at 5.5 weeks since I quit but had been smoking on and off for almost 17 years. Smoked every day in my early twenties and then took a hiatus for a few years and then transitioned back to a daily habit over the last 18 months or so.

I too had a rough couple of weeks and then began to feel normal and thought I was out of the woods. Then got hit with a severe wave of depression and anxiety which only caused me to think something was terribly wrong (I spent days googling-trying to find answers and relief). I’ve since had some pretty good days and some bad days, the bad days are exactly what you described and the anhedonia and intrusive thoughts have been the worst, I honestly feel hopeless at times but again I’ve noted some improvement. I eat a protein based breakfast every morning which seems to have helped the anxiety and take a multi vitamin and Omega 3. I do take CBD tincture from time to time, my doctor approved BUT I know that may also complicate recovery so please don’t do anything on my accord without talking to a professional first, it’s effects are minimal it seems. I also walk everyday with my dog in the woods to get out in the sun and enjoy nature. Other than that I’ve been working 7-5 everyday and have been keeping busy, I’ve noticed anxiety has been improving but getting out in the world now that the pandemic is improving has proved to be difficult.

I know I’m not out of the woods yet but I’m really hoping things keep improving and don’t get worse.

I wish you the best with your recovery, it seems daunting but it will get better with time, there is a lot of evidence here to prove that.

Hang in
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#5

Postby WeWillDoThis » Fri Jun 04, 2021 1:05 am

Forgot to mention-if you haven’t, lay-off alcohol and caffeine too. My tolerance is very low for either, I had two beers with my brother when he came to visit after a couple of weeks and felt depressed, especially the next day. Caffeine seems to pick me up but then makes my anxiety worse. Again-I’d hope these things will improve in time.
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#6

Postby Pawsreallysucks » Fri Jun 04, 2021 1:35 am

I think working definitely helps considering it keeps your brain busy. This is actually one of the reasons I quit smoking. I was starting a new job in a professional setting and wanted to have mental clarity going into it. Did not work out that way. I’m not worried about missing the opportunity, I’ll have plenty more. I’m more worried about this “recovery.” never in a million years did I think this would happen.

Happy to hear you’re feeling better! Hopefully this will be something we can all look back on in due time. It’s been a very scary time in my life that’s for sure
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#7

Postby Eroica » Fri Jun 04, 2021 5:19 am

4.5 months is a lot of clean time but PAWS can last years. I think in your case you will start feeling better sooner than later because you are getting enough sleep and exercising. Also, other than the anxiety, tiredness, and depression, (which suck) you are not experiencing other symptoms. That is a good sign. I think by 6 months you will feel much better.
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#8

Postby Luna824 » Fri Jun 04, 2021 5:53 am

Hi there! Congrats on 4.5 months! I’m currently going on 3.5 and have similar symptoms. I think once the physical symptom subside it’s truly a mental game. I struggle just getting out of the house. Thankfully I work from home right now but I have to go back into the office in the next few months which I’m completely dreading. Are your symptoms continuous? Do you have any decent days in between? I also feel like as soon as I wake up is harder than evenings. I think it might be because I’m thinking about the symptoms. Almost like I wake up hoping it’s not there and when it is I spiral and then I spiral all day till I feel a little better towards the end of the night. Also it sounds like you get decent sleep like me. So sleep was almost like my “safe place” compared to being awake and having intrusive thoughts. I think that’s partly why I tend to feel better towards the end of the day because I’ll be going to sleep soon. Also I don’t know about you but a majority of time I feel like I’m in a haze. Like I’m here but I’m not at the same time. I hate it.
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#9

Postby Pawsreallysucks » Fri Jun 04, 2021 6:00 am

Winzu wrote:This is PAWS for sure. Hold on, after 6-7 months it became a lot easier for me. Have you also tested your T levels?



Winzu! Not sure what happened, I responded to you but it looks like it didn’t post. Just noticed. I’ve actually been following your story these last few months so nice to hear from you. I appreciate the reassurance, some days I feel my train of thought is permanently screwed. I’m only 28, so that would suck! I haven’t gotten my test levels checked but I may take a test booster since they're said to improve mood. Would like to stay natural but I don’t see that hurting my recovery, hopefully just improving it.
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#10

Postby Pawsreallysucks » Fri Jun 04, 2021 6:04 am

Eroica wrote:4.5 months is a lot of clean time but PAWS can last years. I think in your case you will start feeling better sooner than later because you are getting enough sleep and exercising. Also, other than the anxiety, tiredness, and depression, (which suck) you are not experiencing other symptoms. That is a good sign. I think by 6 months you will feel much better.


Hello eroica, like I told winzu, I also have been following your story! Nice to hear from you as well.
I pray you are right. This has been the toughest battle of my life! By far. I hope you are well and definitely appreciate everyone on this forum. I would’ve probably checked into a mental institute otherwise lol
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#11

Postby Pawsreallysucks » Fri Jun 04, 2021 4:34 pm

Luna824 wrote:Hi there! Congrats on 4.5 months! I’m currently going on 3.5 and have similar symptoms. I think once the physical symptom subside it’s truly a mental game. I struggle just getting out of the house. Thankfully I work from home right now but I have to go back into the office in the next few months which I’m completely dreading. Are your symptoms continuous? Do you have any decent days in between? I also feel like as soon as I wake up is harder than evenings. I think it might be because I’m thinking about the symptoms. Almost like I wake up hoping it’s not there and when it is I spiral and then I spiral all day till I feel a little better towards the end of the night. Also it sounds like you get decent sleep like me. So sleep was almost like my “safe place” compared to being awake and having intrusive thoughts. I think that’s partly why I tend to feel better towards the end of the day because I’ll be going to sleep soon. Also I don’t know about you but a majority of time I feel like I’m in a haze. Like I’m here but I’m not at the same time. I hate it.


Hi Luna. It also takes me a long time to get out of the house. Between getting out of bed, taking a shower, and having breakfast it’s almost a 2 hour process. Mornings are by far the worst for me. I don’t think I’ve had a full great day yet, just spurts of happiness and anxiety slowing down. But most days are pretty brutal. Which makes it hard to remember the better days. Like you, I definitely look forward to going to sleep just to catch a break from feeling so down and out. It seems like everyone I know is having the time of their life right now and I’m absolutely not. I hope you feel better soon because this is definitely no way to live!
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#12

Postby Winzu » Fri Jun 04, 2021 10:27 pm

Pawsreallysucks wrote:
Winzu wrote:This is PAWS for sure. Hold on, after 6-7 months it became a lot easier for me. Have you also tested your T levels?



Winzu! Not sure what happened, I responded to you but it looks like it didn’t post. Just noticed. I’ve actually been following your story these last few months so nice to hear from you. I appreciate the reassurance, some days I feel my train of thought is permanently screwed. I’m only 28, so that would suck! I haven’t gotten my test levels checked but I may take a test booster since they're said to improve mood. Would like to stay natural but I don’t see that hurting my recovery, hopefully just improving it.


Good to hear that my story brings you reassurance. Accept that you have PAWS and that it may take up to two year before you are fully yourself again. It does not mean it will be 2 years of pure hell.

I am now at month 10 and these last months have done so well to me. I am at the point where outside of social situations my life is perfectly fine. Trust me, over the course of the upcoming 6 months this all will become much more easy. I consider my first months as torture and I feel like now it is more more of a handicap that I need to be aware of.

Stay strong, don’t relapse or find an escape in other substances. There is a reason we must face this, we need to stop escaping reality and conquer our problems
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#13

Postby Pawsreallysucks » Sat Jun 05, 2021 12:56 am

I am praying for those better days winzu. These past 3 days have been extra rough on me, hence the reason I posted.

A little side story - Recently the 1 friend I’ve been hanging out with thru this process got a girlfriend and he’s gone MIA. I believe this is contributing to a heavy wave of paws due to boredom and maybe a little jealousy. Jealousy only because there is no way I could date or hangout with a chick in my current state.

Life is just kickin my donkey right now. I will continue to stay sober and hope for the best. I truly appreciate the reassurance and everyone that’s taken the time to respond. What a crazy time it is!
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#14

Postby tokeless » Sat Jun 05, 2021 10:20 am

I believe this is contributing to a heavy wave of paws due to boredom and maybe a little jealousy. Jealousy only because there is no way I could date or hangout with a chick in my current state.

I hope you take this the right way but you need to change that mind set for what it is.
You feel jealous, not because of PAWS, but because your friend has a girlfriend who is a threat to your time. You can't put every emotion down to coming off weed... it's left your system long ago... what's left is you my friend. Work on you, not managing PAWS.
Best wishes
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